Banned from women-only FB group

[maet]

A trans woman edited by MNHQ because OP is using second language posted in a women's only FB group wanting free emotional labour and "validation" from untrained women to help them with getting over their abusive ex boyfriend.

I stated it wasn't appropriate to ask untrained women to take on their emotional labour, especially considering what had happened to them was so traumatic (according to them they ended up in hospital), and especially not for free and suggested they seek professional help instead.

Cue trans woman and women stating I was being transphobic, and "wouldn't understand the fear a marginalised group would go through."

I was told I hadn't been through a traumatic experience before so couldn't possibly understand what the OP was going through.

I've been banned from a group specifically designed for women. Nowhere in the post did I mention anything about the OP being trans.

I am so sick of this shit. The world has gone mad.

Those hoping to escape mainstream thought come here and then the mainstreamers still manage to seek us out and impose their tiresome, common opinions on us. Opinions we already know because we've heard them so many times before

People are hardly seeking you out. Your threads appear on the "active" list. You're not some underground guerilla group.

I always tell people who use this argument on my threads that FWR is an alternative forum for those who want to discuss topics in a way that differs from mainstream thought*

Are you a moderator? As if you're not then that's just your opinion of what it should be like on here.

OP, the other thread which would probably give you some insight, should you still be interested (!), is this one

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3101834-trans-widows-escape-committee

People are hardly seeking you out. Your threads appear on the "active" list. You're not some underground guerilla group.

Exactly lol

Why are people trying so hard to trip you up on here? I just don't get it!

Can't have women as victims of transwomen, we must know who is the most oppressed. Interestingly none of those against the Op have tried to defend Hubbard, wonder why that would be

So now am being misgamed

Interestingly none of those against the Op have tried to defend Hubbard

Eh? Because that's not what the thread's about so why would we randomly do that

No we don't let the boring mainstream people in our underground guerrilla groups obviously.
But from time to time it's worth commenting on public feminist boards.

Can’t women game and have to run off to set the war. I will be getting shit of my clan leader as said would set war at 9 pm 🤦‍♀️

I know you all see littl.

I swear down: I have never noticed that before!

Why were they wrong to do that? They have clearly decided who they are willing to accept into their group. That's their decision to make isn't it?

It is. But the op was surprised and saddened with their decision as she believed a women's group would support their women members I suppose. I can empathise with her on this.

So now am being misgamed

You wouldn't be on the naughty step if you played Scrabble like wot I do.

*Interestingly none of those against the Op have tried to defend Hubbard

Eh? Because that's not what the thread's about so why would we randomly do that confused*

Oh not random at all, there are definite similarities. The OP is a victim of a transperson and so are the 2nd-4th placed women Hubbard "beat". Male born people outing women from their spaces.

But they probably didn't appreciate what the OP said.

For all she knows, they also removed the trans woman from group too. Maybe op was banned for what she actually said because it was offensive?

See, I'd say "I'm off to CAZIQUES".

392 points dontchaknow.

Women and girls are under exceptional pressure to centre men at all times and in all aspects of our lives. Resisting this - as the OP has found out - can be difficult. Fortunately women are resisting and many more women (and men) are becoming aware and challenging what is happening.

I do hope OP you are able to network with other women in the future.

Scrabble is not a game.

Did I just say that ?

Yes truth great post

I know you all see littl

I noticed it but was too polite to say. Besides, you've all got such weird names I just thought there was probably some relevance to the omission. I've often thought of starting a thread asking what inspired our names.

Oh not random at all, there are definite similarities. The OP is a victim of a transperson and so are the 2nd-4th placed women Hubbard "beat". Male born people outing women from their spaces

I meant random as in why would we randomly start talking about Hubbard on this thread when the thread has nothing to do with Hubbard

I've often thought of starting a thread asking what inspired our names.

I do not want to know what inspired your name 😳

But surely the women running the Facebook group did set their own boundaries? It's just that the op didn't agree with them and tried to breach them so they banned op. Which was sticking to their boundaries.

Oh yes, women are still allowed to set boundaries - when they're against other women that is. The loss is being able to set our boundaries against males - very important boundaries that can protect us in all sorts of ways. We're no longer allowed to set them.

And the believe that women don’t game. We do

AloneLonelyLoner thank you. Sorry it's happened to you also. Quite terrifying. Feels dystopian almost

Maet AloneLonelyLoner you are not alone and its not exclusive to German language groups. I have admin'd many such groups over the years and there has never been a time when women's groups are not attacked and trolled by men. Bringing in graphic bad experiences has always been one vector of attack - it plays on the fact that women are socialised to be empathetic. Some trolls are MRA, some are just pervs, sometimes its hard to tell the difference.

Admins are routinely threatened by such people. I've often been threatened by these trolls, I've seen many less experienced or younger admins succumb to the threats/coercion. I'm too old to give a shit, I've admin'd online groups since before some of these trolls were born. I have sent "sorry but this group isn't the place for this discussion but please find the help you need here" notices to such posters posting innappropriately. Then banned them if they persist.

People bending over backward to twist your attempts to convey in a second language what was happening in a mix of two on a group with its own culture may not realise that trans women also lose out when these trolls are defended.

In online technical groups its not uncommon for what used to be called gender dysphoric trans women to participate like any other women just minding their own business. One of my fellow moderators on a couple of groups is a transexual (their preferred term) woman who gained one of the early GRCs. Her loathing of this kind of trolling is due to seeing the damage it does to her younger peers.

If you proceed and set up your own group choose a platform based on free speech which allows groups to form their own rules which are not subject to overuling. Be clear on what those rules are (what language, what topics etc) and have some standard polite but firm form mails for when those rules are breached. Also don't expect people to love you - you will never keep everybody happy as as admin.

I do hope OP you are able to network with other women in the future.

This.

Also please continue to post on MN it's great to hear about what is going on in other countries in this international battle. Glad you found some GC groups to join after being kicked out of your tech group.