Banned from women-only FB group

[maet]

A trans woman edited by MNHQ because OP is using second language posted in a women's only FB group wanting free emotional labour and "validation" from untrained women to help them with getting over their abusive ex boyfriend.

I stated it wasn't appropriate to ask untrained women to take on their emotional labour, especially considering what had happened to them was so traumatic (according to them they ended up in hospital), and especially not for free and suggested they seek professional help instead.

Cue trans woman and women stating I was being transphobic, and "wouldn't understand the fear a marginalised group would go through."

I was told I hadn't been through a traumatic experience before so couldn't possibly understand what the OP was going through.

I've been banned from a group specifically designed for women. Nowhere in the post did I mention anything about the OP being trans.

I am so sick of this shit. The world has gone mad.

Said she's not giving a transwoman emotional labour why should she especially when she was a member of a tech start up group not a trans support group or any other kind of support group.

Sick of centring males why should the OP or anyone else centre males if they don't want to? I'm married and don't even centre my DH, my kids come first and in order to be a good mum I need to take care of myself, he's an adult and can look after himself.

Neither of these are transphobic or grounds for banning IMO.

Your third point is irrelevant as OP has said she only got to post 1 comment before being called a transphobe and removed along with at least one other.

Don’t tell the kiwis about boundaries ffs. It will kick off bigly 🤣🤣💪💪

littlbrowndog 😂😂😂

Cucamelons. Is that seeds from James Wong ?

Excellent point littl

littlbrowndog

No! I paid 75p from more veg more my seeds I think. The plants grow quick and pests don’t like them

God, these thread's are weird. Quick, we're being disagreed with or called out on shit, quick change the subject and let's post umpteen oy oys and talk about food and what's on telly instead
I really wish you could all see how it comes across lol

more veg is the name. Their cucumbers are good too. You only get a few seeds but pay typically 50p-£1

Ofgs rufus. In my head it’s little. Brown dog.

I know you all see littl. But it’s my identity.

Mislittl me now. Gutted

That’s how it rocks here rose. Bonkers

It's certainly enlightening.
Sunlight and all that on these threads, so all good.

Just saying Aidan Turner on next.

Could be worse ... could be licklebrowndog

Ofgs

Moreveg. Ta Jess will look them up,

Tit for tat

It only serves to underline that the feminist board doesn't actually welcome genuine discussion of feminist issues but has instead become an echo chamber for certain vehemently GC posters.

I think it's a shame and I can't really think of another area of MN where behaviour like it is permitted.

It is fairly obvious to anyone’s who lurks on these threads.

As soon as the questions get a bit too intense or you can’t quite answer them, first you could attempt to reverse such as saying I’m one step away from saying ‘die in a fire’ and if that doesn’t work, send in someone to completely derail the thread and we’ll all discuss which weetabix recipe we’ll try next.

I’m great thanks little although it’s 9pm and my kids are in bed so I can’t really be bothered for child’s play anymore. So if this is turning into a ‘quick let’s talk about recipe and weetabix’ I just cba, it’s too embarrassing.

OK, just seen t'other thread on here looks like it sent out an oi oi rally cry, that makes more sense why it's gone completely bonkers on here - must have been a quick, stop 'em posting! thing lol

God, these thread's are weird. Quick, we're being disagreed with or called out on shit, quick change the subject and let's post umpteen oy oys and talk about food and what's on telly instead
I really wish you could all see how it comes across lol

Indeed. It truly is just like being back in the playground.

I can't believe that these are actually adults, some of whom are in professional jobs. It's clearly just a game to them.

As soon as the questions get a bit too intense or you can’t quite answer them, first you could attempt to reverse such as saying I’m one step away from saying ‘die in a fire’ and if that doesn’t work, send in someone to completely derail the thread and we’ll all discuss which weetabix recipe we’ll try next

That pretty much sums it up!

genuine discussion doesn’t involve repeating the same things and asking the same things, over and over.

It only serves to underline that the feminist board doesn't actually welcome genuine discussion of feminist issues but has instead become an echo chamber for certain vehemently GC posters.

Yep, and I think it's a shame as well

OP I hope you can find another group that is run better than that one, women in tech have a hard enough time as it is.

What an incredibly long discussion when you clearly did nothing wrong OP. Suggesting someone seeks out professional help when they are posting inappropriately asking for emotional support on a professional tech forum is completely reasonable.

What strikes me is the way you were banned so quickly. One post and you were out, and the other woman by the sounds of it too. Punishment is swift with accusations of "transphobia", especially for women. Part of the emotional labour required of women is indeed to "validate" MTF trans. You were right to refuse. It's sad that they didn't even give you a chance to defend yourself, when you'd been participating on the forum for two years.