Banned from women-only FB group

[maet]

A trans woman edited by MNHQ because OP is using second language posted in a women's only FB group wanting free emotional labour and "validation" from untrained women to help them with getting over their abusive ex boyfriend.

I stated it wasn't appropriate to ask untrained women to take on their emotional labour, especially considering what had happened to them was so traumatic (according to them they ended up in hospital), and especially not for free and suggested they seek professional help instead.

Cue trans woman and women stating I was being transphobic, and "wouldn't understand the fear a marginalised group would go through."

I was told I hadn't been through a traumatic experience before so couldn't possibly understand what the OP was going through.

I've been banned from a group specifically designed for women. Nowhere in the post did I mention anything about the OP being trans.

I am so sick of this shit. The world has gone mad.

Roses, you seem to have missed the entire point of the thread.
It's not about trans women. I've stated multiple times: if a trans woman is in a group for women in tech and wants to discuss tech, that's fine.
The issue was the trans woman came into a German speaking group for women in tech start ups, and spoke in English about graphic abuse and wanting untrained strangers to validate them and give them free therapy.
When posters - including myself - suggested they search for a more appropriate place to seek this kind of help, we were automatically labelled transphobic by the trans woman, and admin then had to ban at least 2 women from the group because of the complaints made by the trans woman that suggesting a mental health professional was more appropriate to help with a mental health issue instead of a group of complete strangers in a FB group for women in tech start ups.

Yes, one at 4am whilst tired and upset, and another later on with a copy and pasted version of my response. Neither were rude, and both were similar although worded differently.

Yes, but the OP has posted 2 versions of what they apparently said, both telling the trans woman to seek help but both wildly different in their tone

Exactly.

Roses, you seem to have missed the entire point of the thread.
It's not about trans women. I've stated multiple times: if a trans woman is in a group for women in tech and wants to discuss tech, that's fine.
The issue was the trans woman came into a German speaking group for women in tech start ups, and spoke in English about graphic abuse and wanting untrained strangers to validate them and give them free therapy.
When posters - including myself - suggested they search for a more appropriate place to seek this kind of help, we were automatically labelled transphobic by the trans woman, and admin then had to ban at least 2 women from the group because of the complaints made by the trans woman that suggesting a mental health professional was more appropriate to help with a mental health issue instead of a group of complete strangers in a FB group for women in tech start up was transphobic.

Sorry I posted too soon. Long day.

Roses where did you get that from?

What an odd interpretation of the OP.

The trans person was the one who made it about anyone being trans.

Is this deliberate misreading? Again,

But it clearly is an issue for you that this was a trans woman, because you have referred to it many times, including making it clear that you consider the person male and how you are fed up with centering men etc.

If your main issue is that they posted in English on a German site or that they posted details of abuse then why isn't that the basis for your complaint?

inappropriate and was said only because it was to a trans woman

That's accusing OP of transphobia, and totally out of order. Who's being gross! not a question

Yes, one at 4am whilst tired and upset, and another later on with a copy and pasted version of my response. Neither were rude, and both were similar although worded differently.

Oh come off it.

They are two entirely different accounts.

Just because 1 was posted at 4am why does that mean you would claim to have said things that you now say you didn't say?

And yes, the 1st account was rude and is not saying the same as the 2nd account at all.

I guess we need to accept that. There are still many who don't see massive red flags waving in front of their eyes

Threads like this hopefully help open eyes to that

Oh yes. the fact that there are posters here who have no issue with a male crashing a forum for women in tech, posting about graphic abuse and wanting to meet up with women from the forum irl is really educational.

avoid those without boundaries and who refused to support others' boundaries

words to live by

Decomposing a trans woman is a biological male, that's a fact. I've never once stated I have an issue with trans women being in the group. I've always said that was never the issue. I don't understand why you're sitting on this thread for hours on end, deliberately misreading things. If you want answers, read the full thread and you'll find them all there. Otherwise, maybe just enjoy your Sunday evening instead of arguing with strangers on a website?

Decomposing would it make you feel better if I said you were right? If it'll mean you'll have a rest and do something else I'm glad to make you think you're correct 😊

I completely hear what you're saying, OP. I think you responded appropriately to this person. Did they explain exactly which terms of the group you'd apparently violated?

Some get off on creating arguments Maet

When that's the case they are nigh on impossible to shake off!

I have read the thread and I'm not misreading anything.

Thank you for suggesting I enjoy my Sunday evening. Obviously you're not being at all goady.

I don't understand why you're sitting on this thread for hours on end, deliberately misreading things

something many of us have wondered on many occasions....

Ellen no, no reason was given. Just a swift ban. I'm over it now, and think it's been a blessing in disguise!

It's not about trans women. I've stated multiple times: if a trans woman is in a group for women in tech and wants to discuss tech, that's fine.
The issue was the trans woman came into a German speaking group for women in tech start ups, and spoke in English about graphic abuse and wanting untrained strangers to validate them and give them free therapy

Your use of the words "validate them" says a lot imo.
Would you say to a woman new member (bio woman) the same what you've said on here? Not to ask other women for emotional labour?
Just because she had the word new member on her post doesn't mean she hadn't been in the group for ages.
You can lurk and not post in groups for ages on FB, but the first time you post you get the words new member pop up next to your post or a hand signal.
This might have been the first time she needed to post, was interested in tech too, doesn't mean she automatically joined to hook up with other women.
We don't know, we're not her.

I have read the thread and I'm not misreading anything

Same

The trans woman used the words "validate me" that's why I put "validate" in quotations as it's the same word used by the poster. It's not my choice of word.

doesn't mean she automatically joined to hook up with other women

The intent of that post in the tech forum was very clear.

Stop reinventing the wheel.

And Roses you're asking questions that have already been answered. Goodnight!

So, we do know don't we! It was directly asked.

And also Roses, I never once suggested they joined to "hook up" with women. Maybe someone else did, but never from me.

Always the same names. How would these poor beleaguered trans people cope if they couldn't transgress boundaries without the valiant few who defend them on FWR?

Goodnight!

You're off to bed? OK, goodnight then!