Banned from women-only FB group

[maet]

A trans woman edited by MNHQ because OP is using second language posted in a women's only FB group wanting free emotional labour and "validation" from untrained women to help them with getting over their abusive ex boyfriend.

I stated it wasn't appropriate to ask untrained women to take on their emotional labour, especially considering what had happened to them was so traumatic (according to them they ended up in hospital), and especially not for free and suggested they seek professional help instead.

Cue trans woman and women stating I was being transphobic, and "wouldn't understand the fear a marginalised group would go through."

I was told I hadn't been through a traumatic experience before so couldn't possibly understand what the OP was going through.

I've been banned from a group specifically designed for women. Nowhere in the post did I mention anything about the OP being trans.

I am so sick of this shit. The world has gone mad.

Decomposing no one's asking you to, so I wouldn't worry about it. In fact, I haven't asked anything of anyone. I hope you'll find something else to fill your evenings truly, because I have found your constant posting today quite sad, and I wish you luck in the future! 😊

And also Roses, I never once suggested they joined to "hook up" with women

It's been implied on the thread that she was there just to post abuse stories or meet other women, maybe not by you, I wasn't meaning specifically you there so sorry if that wasn't clear.

I don't believe for one moment that a trans woman posted about domestic abuse and then asked for women to "validate" them.

isn't that troll hunting? I thought that was against the rules?

Well clear off then Decomposing

What is the point exactly? If you being here?

You are posting repeatedly on a thread whilst disbelieving the OP?

What is the point in that, and isn't it against MN rules, just report her, that's what you're supposed to do, not disbelieve her, effectively saying she's trolling.

because I have found your constant posting today quite sad, and I wish you luck in the future

I mean, why? Plenty of posters have "been constant posting today", why don't they get called out? Is it because they're OK to keep posting as much as they like as they agree with you?
You're desperate to shut up anyone who disagrees with you, aren't you?

I agree that it's inappropriate to want to meet up.
I'm not sure why her trans status has anything to do with it though.

I believe the OP answered that question:

I didn't get a chance to follow up my post, as I was banned from the group. I posted once, was called a transphobe and then swiftly removed from the group. Along with another woman, and possibly others.

The group allows transwomen in as they see them as women, so she had every right to be there, so it's not really poor boundaries being in a women's group you're allowed to be part of.

The poor boundaries part comes from posting a graphic abuse story on a professional forum for women in tech startups. The forum was for discussing information about tech startups, not for dealing with trauma and abuse issues. As a new poster. Going into unnecessary detail. And expecting women who were in the forum to discuss tech startups to act as therapists, when that is not their field of expertise. And also wanting to meet those women in real life.

Lots of red flags.

Roses, simply put no. But it's been constant going around and around, asking the same questions, misreading the same answers. It must be exhausting. Not a fun pastime.

isn't that troll hunting? I thought that was against the rules?

How's it troll hunting? I've said that I don't believe one specific sentence.

Quite sure MN will delete if necessary.

I hope you'll find something else to fill your evenings truly, because I have found your constant posting today quite sad, and I wish you luck in the future! 😊

And the same to you OP. I have an excuse as to why I've been here all day. Quite why you've been here since 4am despite telling us you were going out for beers with friends who knows?

May you also find something more interesting to do with your life.

Clear off.
I mean... just wow lol

Sorry but I totally read that with a mental image of the poster brandishing a broom shouting "Clear Orf Mah Land"

Decomposing I've been out, beer at the Späti with friends by the river. I'm back, work in the morning and want an early night. It's common to just go for one beer here, and then return home 😊

...did you...

Threads like this hopefully help open eyes to that.

It has been quite illuminating.

RosesAndRaindrops

No doubt these very posters will be back to complain about people trying to shut other women up. Totally ignorant about the hypocrisy

because I have found your constant posting today quite sad

Said with a stunning lack of self- awareness.

avoid those without boundaries and who refused to support others' boundaries

Really great advise - avoid like the plague especially in real life! Boundaries and gut instinct should never be underestimated. OP well done for calling out major red flags others may not have noticed. It got you banned but other more naive posters may have thought twice about meeting irl.

Don't worry Mart.

There's no need to have to justify yourself, especially to those who refuse you believe what you say anyway.

It's called circling, and pointless

Glad you enjoyed a beer!

Lass, I'm aware I've also posted today. But I haven't been asking others to repeat, repeat, repeat. I've been trying to answer questions as best I can. But I've realised that I've been naive and most of these posters seem to have form for doing this on these boards. I thought they genuinely were confused and have wondered if my English wasn't eligible, but now I realise they just like to "wind people up" (one of my favourite phrases in English)

Truth will be ignoring from now on! Thank you, hope you enjoy your evening 😊

Sorry maet (that one slipped through, I have caught other auto-corrections and changed them back again)

I just can’t make out whether it’s stupidity or just plain disingenuous... but the OP stated clearly many many times that it was the transwomen who posted that accused not just the OP but other members of transphobia for not wanting to discuss it there. They were removed for it. That’s why them being trans is relevant and mentioned here in this thread.

But I haven't been asking others to repeat, repeat, repeat

Exactly.

now I realise they just like to "wind people up" (one of my favourite phrases in English)

And another stunning lack of self- awareness. Your constant belittling of Decomposing says a lot about you.

Lass, let's all get hobbies! I know you're really trying for a fight, but you won't get one from me sorry! 😊

This thread reminds me of Twitter and that is not a good thing.