Banned from women-only FB group

[maet]

A trans woman edited by MNHQ because OP is using second language posted in a women's only FB group wanting free emotional labour and "validation" from untrained women to help them with getting over their abusive ex boyfriend.

I stated it wasn't appropriate to ask untrained women to take on their emotional labour, especially considering what had happened to them was so traumatic (according to them they ended up in hospital), and especially not for free and suggested they seek professional help instead.

Cue trans woman and women stating I was being transphobic, and "wouldn't understand the fear a marginalised group would go through."

I was told I hadn't been through a traumatic experience before so couldn't possibly understand what the OP was going through.

I've been banned from a group specifically designed for women. Nowhere in the post did I mention anything about the OP being trans.

I am so sick of this shit. The world has gone mad.

@PCohle haven't told anyone to stop posting here. I've told people to read the entire thread before posting a comment. And unfortunately some people don't seem to have a life, and just enjoy trolling these boards.

You don't seem to do anything else with your life

You appear to have been on here for the same amount of time that I have.

I hope you'll find a hobby

Maybe it would be an idea to engage your brain sometimes. I can't go outside and get a hobby nor do anything else with my life because I have a severe illness that means every Friday I have to take chemo. I then spend the entire weekend throwing up and generally feeling like shit. I come on here as a distraction.

Maybe while I'm trying to get a life you could try to get some empathy for fellow human beings?

I beginning to see why you get banned from online forums OP.

You can't behave as rudely as you like, tell other people what they should and shouldn't post and then claim you're being silenced just because you're a woman.

@DecomposingComposers okay 😊 nothing to do with me or my thread but I hope you've been properly distracted and wish you well. There might be a better thread and topic for you to distract yourself with in future.

@PCohle never been banned from an online forum. I was removed from a FB group. I haven't been rude. If others are rude to me, I'm not going to just take it. You don't have to agree with me or even comment on this thread.

It depends, if the group is also used to discuss non work issues eg women post about childcare woes, moan about husbands, complain about the trains, discuss dinner plans whatever then it is not unreasonable to raise other issues, but if it's purely work talk that's different, straying onto personal matters would not be appropriate. Not quite sure what emotional labour is, guessing it's lost in translation, we generally would call it support.

@stucknoue RTFT it's purely for professional purposes 😊

Emotional labour is used a lot within feminist theory, so it's not lost in translation. They're not just expecting support, but for women to be an unpaid therapist for a stranger.

Always good to read earlier posts before jumping in uninformed.

maet

I think you are just being goady OP.

It is generally accepted on this board that you don't @ posters. I asked you not to do it and yet you persist, not just with me but other posters too.

Maybe you should also read the specific guidelines for this board. I think there's a time that 3 deletions potentially earns you a ban. Maybe read them before you can add getting banned from MN to your CV.

DecomposingComposers again, apologies for @-ing you. There's nothing about that in MN rules. You just prefer to not have others do it. I forgot. Not being goady. You're the one hanging around another persons thread and disagreeing with everyone. There are many other threads you can distract yourself with. I hope you'll find them!
And my posts have been edited apparently because English isn't my native language.

What a time to level your severe illness at OP, Decomposing

Everyone has sympathy for this, and I truly hope you make a full and speedy recovery,but don't use it against other unsuspecting posters as a weapon or you will fast lose any sympathy.

None of us know what any others have going on their lives, it doesn't belong on here as ammo.

Just shows doesn't it.

Perhaps you are being goady DecomposingComposers.

I think the OP used @ accidentally as she does it by habit. I don't think she meant to annoy you again.

I assume the deletions invovled misgendering. I can't remember what they said.

Some people really don't like women having boundaries. We are the ones who have to constantly police ourselves so as not to trigger others and we don't get the same courtesy in return.

You have tried to knock pretty much everything OP has said Decomposers and in a pretty underhand way,so please excuse me if I think you're the one being nasty with your assertions of banning her, amongst other things.

Bespin not the one trolling. I'm actually not sure how me suggesting someone should seek appropriate help for traumatic events, instead of leaning on strangers results in me being both transphobic and a troll.

Some people really don't like women having boundaries. We are the ones who have to constantly police ourselves so as not to trigger others and we don't get the same courtesy in return.

This.

It's not how I read it Bespin. It has certainly brought out opposing views though.

Some people really don't like women having boundaries. We are the ones who have to constantly police ourselves so as not to trigger others and we don't get the same courtesy in return.

100%.

Trollhunting is and always has been against talk guidelines across the site.

The OP is the one who asked why another poster "didn't have anything better to do with her life". If you ask goady questions you might get a response you don't like.

Telling Decomposers not to mention her illness even when directly goaded into it is shitty and unkind.

Everyone has sympathy for this, and I truly hope you make a full and speedy recovery,but don't use it against other unsuspecting posters as a weapon or you will fast lose any sympathy

I assumed it was in exasperation at the OP's comments about having nothing better to do; hanging on in here etc. when the OP also seems to have nothing better to do. The OP was rude there.

I see another battle of the @ sign is emerging. Whilst I think it's a little precious to care the OP was asked to stop doing it and has carried on. That behaviour usually gets called out as being rude.

sometimes people lean on strangers as the first place to go for help, hopefully that will lead them on to the appropriate place, I would hope people are kind and caring towards that person's needs and gradually guide them on to expert help.

So an American found a German group for supporting women in tech, and chose that place to seek support dealing with an abusive partner, and give graphic details?
I really don't see how that was meant to do anything other than be disruptive to a women's group, and they've succeeded.