Part two, sorry for these posts being so long.
I’m not going to comment on individuals or name names. This is not intended as a cop out it is just I see it as anything that is done to me can be weathered for the greater good of women & girl’s rights. There is no point in diminishing my voice even further when I am trying to raise the alarm about this ideology, queer theory and child safeguarding because I have put noses out of joint or upset the wrong people. I am sucking it up.
I deactivated because I was frustrated, exasperated and despairing. I had given up the fight, I don’t think I’m alone in reaching a stage when it feels pointless and undermined. I need to re-charge. I’m still deciding if I will go back to Twitter, some things have come to my attention over recent days which I am both heartbroken, horrified and angry about which puts me off returning and means I must cool off. It has also set my recovery back, I was meant to be clearing my mind. As some people may know I am disabled due to brain damage and I was at a stage where something was going wrong and I was essentially shutting down/losing certain abilities – I was very wobbly on my feet and I was finding speech increasingly difficult. This is a sign that I need to give my brain a rest and it is over worked.
I am a feminist, the real kind. Feminists are having to work alongside non-feminists in this cause which is always going to need tongues to be bitten sometimes and conflicts will arise. It is tougher when those who do not express or maintain feminist principles take your name – ‘feminist’ – while they demoralise you. It is not a tote bag or label, it is a theory and practice for women's liberation =).
In the GC movement I do believe that there is not only space but it is also necessary for all approaches and a coalition of perspectives. The feminist, the socialist, the conservative, the political, the protest, the work within power structures and the louder, blunter voices. However, I place a caveat on that – you should not consider yourself part of the movement if you routinely reinforce that which you claim to fight against. It undermines everything everyone has collectively worked for. It highlights how you are in it for yourself and not for the right reasons.
We must all question how we interact with gender (the system of oppression) – do we place male voices over women’s? Do we treat men and women differently in the name of kindness? Kindness to whom, because it is often not kindness to women and girls. I am of the opinion that if you do not centre women and girl’s rights or if you place male feelings above these, then you are actively working to damage and destroy what should be our shared goals.
I think the jostling, back biting and point scoring to promote oneself maybe human but is both tiresome and dangerous to the collective goal. At some point the best interests of women and girls must be put above one’s own desires. Do not build your reputation off the backs of other people’s misery, if you are not aiding an end to suffering you are perpetuating it.
I am staunch in my idea that nobody is above question. I am committed to the principle that one should practice what one preaches: deeds not words.
To end positively, all the nastiness and shit pales in comparison to the amazing women I have met, learnt from and the friendships I have made.