Feminism and breastfeeding

[SnuggyBuggy]

Just curious as to people's opinions here as I haven't seen these two things discussed a lot. Is promoting breastfeeding compatible with being a feminist?

I am very strongly pro breastfeeding but that’s not what you’re asking. I also count myself as feminist but not in a traditional way. I believe all people (well most) are created equal but that the role and equality for women has a long way to go for most women. That’s within families, nationally and globally.
I don’t think equality necessarily means expressing so that the father can do night feeds. I don’t think it means women have to have high paid careers. I certainly don’t think it’s, as many women currently find, it’s about being focussed on getting back to your old life post baby or doing everything- primary carer and successful career.
Until society accepts the true value of women rearing their infants, of the importance of strong attachments and values this through good maternity provision and time to allow women to feed, then women cannot be equal. No policy can circumnavigate that. No amount of pay gap analysis will change attitudes.

Women will only be seen as equal when birthing and nurturing is understood to be the most important job in any society.

Not wanting to is a perfectly good reason for not bf. Absolutely fine. No questions asked

But apart from you Betrand that is rarely said.

“But apart from you Betrand that is rarely said.”

So how come most women don’t bf?

I think what I mean by taboo is that people were reluctant to talk about formula at places like NCT. Sometimes the use of formula can be thrust on you even if you wanted to EBF. It feels like some pro breastfeeding people almost want to pretend it doesnt exist. I don't know if this is a good way to be pro-BF. Maybe there is a case for it to be treated like a prescription medicine in these sorts of cases.

@CherryPavlova

I agree there isn't enough respect for mothering or any sort of essential unpaid caring. I also wish we didn't peddle the have it all story so much as well.

To try and steer back to the feminist discussion around breastfeeding, I would like to reiterate my earlier point, and suggest that actually, yes "formula feeding is taboo". We all know rationally that it isn't, because a majority of mothers in the UK use formula to feed their babies, rather than breastmilk.

Yet we are still suggested to very subtly, that it is taboo and therefore a bad thing.

It's all complete bullshit of course, and I'm sure a large percentage of those mothers would have preferred to breastfeed if they had the education and support necessary to do so.

So it's just another stick to beat women and motherhood with. A method to remind us that we are "lesser".

I was extremely lucky to get the support I needed, and it makes me really, really angry that the vast majority of women in the UK are not getting that support. It's absolutely a feminist issue because it affects women in such a big way.

“I think what I mean by taboo is that people were reluctant to talk about formula at places like NCT”

I don’t think there are any places “like” the NCT! They are famously anti formula, I agree. But only a tiny number of people go to their classes.

Nursing aversion is a thing.
I don't think we should dismiss or minimise women's experiences.
However, one woman's negative experience does not mean that it will be the same for every woman.

It's biological.
kellymom.com/bf/concerns/mother/breastfeeding-nursing-aversion-agitation-baa/

True but if you are one of the mums in that naice NCT circle and are compelled to use formula it's distressing as fuck. I still feel upset by the huge bottles of formula DD was force fed on NICU and the thought that I'd missed my opportunity to BF. The NHS talk a lot about BF but a lot of its just talk.

I do also agree that 81% to 24% statistic is depressing and definitely suggests women not getting the support they need.

Sensible support and no dogma is what's needed for all new mothers. I was lucky...

I had low milk supply at first (a side effect of pcos, apparently, it would have been helpful to know that in advance). The midwives were entirely supportive of a bit of supplementation. (This was 20 years ago). DH was massively supportive - he went out and got the unexpectedly needed kit, made up the bottles and incredibly helpfully noticed that hardly any of the formula was actually being consumed, I was providing very nearly enough. (And obviously he took over looking after food, the dog, all that sort of thing.) DM calmly dropped into conversation something I'd never known, that she'd had to quit BFing one of my bros, she'd felt bad but it was fine.

The other thing which helped me was a moment of realisation when I thought about how a mother cat behaves. Lies down, relaxes, lets the kittens get on with it.

Sensible, practical and emotional support, no pressure (once I'd stopped pressurising myself).

This feels very pertinent to me! I met my oldest friend the other day, just 2 feminists (plus my baby) having lunch. I’m having a hard time at the moment as have been made redundant on mat leave (that ole cliche), and it’s compounded by the fact my baby is teething and not sleeping. My friend said I need a break but I can’t because I’m breastfeeding. She muttered darkly about “breastfeeding having a lot to answer for”

And that really got me thinking, as my own personal feeling about breastfeeding is that while it is of course constraining in terms of work and maintaining a “normal” (ie nighttime) social life I’ve felt it quite empowering in terms of reclaiming my body for my baby; like a reminder to men that my breasts aren’t here for their viewing pleasure. It feels like 2 fingers to the patriarchy that I’m sat in a meeting with the mortgage advisor performing a profoundly female act, like I don’t have to subsume my female-ness to still participate.

So many complex issues to unpick...

Also the flip side of it being constraining is that being able to be more spontaneous with going out and changing plans because you don't need to worry about clean bottles or access to suitably heated water and not having to get out of bed in the night to make up a feed has been really liberating.

In my experience, bf is only constraining if society tells women they have to stay home to do it. Or that they should be doing lots of non baby related stuff.

@SnuggyBuggy I agree - the lower faff aspect suits my lack of organisation. And in truth it’s probably the “having a baby” that’s really constraining as much as how they’re fed.

I wonder if this might be at the heart of the differences between my child-free friend and me - the choice to have a family as my choice to reduce my ability to participate in society in the way she (and also me!) values. By which I mean reaching professional potential, freedom to travel, socialise etc. Like I’ve accepted the traditional “little woman” role.

Which I guess is the devaluing of “woman’s work”

We also forget that men are often only able to take up opportunities in the work place because their children are being cared for by the mother. I remember my dp saying this to me when I went through a “I’m not contributing to the mortgage and the only money i’ve got you earned” phase.

I think women who have tried and been unable to breastfeed often feel like they had lots of support, and so find it offensive to be told that more women would be able to breastfeed if there was more support.

But the support that is lacking is often not the nuts and bolts (tongue tie and latch etc) stuff, but the general understanding as a society of what a newborn’s needs are and what a postpartum mother needs to be able to meet those needs. That is something that has to change on a structural level within society and that makes it a political issue.

There was a study done on indigenous tribes and breastfeeding and it found that the same amount of mothers encountered problems feeding as in societies like ours, but there was the knowledge and relationships within the community to sort most things out. We have lost that generational breastfeeding knowledge very quickly thanks to formula marketing.

www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2017/06/26/534021439/secrets-of-breast-feeding-from-global-moms-in-the-know?t=1560504598239

We have lost that generational breastfeeding knowledge very quickly thanks to formula marketing.

Yes indeed.

I've just been reading Unicef's Report on being family friendly

This is the press release for it:
www.unicef.org/press-releases/sweden-norway-iceland-and-estonia-rank-highest-family-friendly-policies-oecd-and-eu
Sweden, Norway, Iceland, Estonia and Portugal rank highest for family-friendly policies in OECD and EU countries
Switzerland, Greece, Cyprus, United Kingdom and Ireland among lowest ranking countries

And here is the full report:
www.unicef-irc.org/family-friendly

On the whole, the UK scores very poorly. One of the things they looked at was breast feeding rates.

What I find incredibly striking is how the UK compares to other countries, particularly at 12months. I think this graphic really is useful to visualise the problem.