Paying for swimming lessons in a block/ periods

[Aquifolium]

Hi,

My daughter’s have attended swimming lessons at the local pool for many years. Their attendance has always been spot on. Now they have started their periods they are missing one or 2 sessions a month.
I have contacted the manager to ask if there has been any thought out into this phenomenon, and the reply is of course, they can use tampons, which are perfectly safe.

I wasn’t addressing this issue in a ‘what are you going to do about it’ kind of way, but the dismissive response I have had from the manager has pissed me off.
I feel that my daughters are at a disadvantage now, and that I am paying out for lessons (block booking only)they can’t take up.
Has anyone else done anything about this issue before? Got anywhere?
TIA

It's an optional service that will be geared at profit.

I wonder what happens when people put ridiculous ideologies ahead of a sound business plan. Hmmm

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.standard.co.uk/news/world/handsome-her-vegan-cafe-melbourne-closing-a4124781.html%3famp

even if were you in such pain for any other reason there's no way you;d be expected to be at work.

But this is rubbish. I am in agony every day. I take morphine to get through work. My sick percentage has been raised from 3% to 5% that is it. Don't perpetuate the myth that disability is accommodated for.

@TheRealHousewifeOfCheshire

I really want to know more about this holiday system which you mention.
Could you tell us more? What context have you come across it in? Was it private or public sector? If you could pm me the name of the location, perhaps I could contact them for the policy and forward it to my council as a suggestion which would improve attendance all round.

interesting you consider something that affects over 50% of the population a 'ridiculous ideology'. Looks awfully like internalized misogyny in practice to me.

Again, swimming is a life skill. Drowning is the third highest cause of death amongst children. I don't think teaching children to be competant (at the very least) swimmers is optional.www.teachingtimes.com/news/drowning-problem.htm

The thing is that swimming lessons are usually run based on the school term. So blocks of six lessons, and you choose a time.

I have a ds, and he was a sickly young creature, always having tonsillitis or some such. If I'd booked six lessons, I had to pay for six lessons. I just don't think it's practical or fair on a business to be able to duck out of payment whatever the reason .

What about other activities? Most things the dcs have done have required 24 hours' notice for cancellation, as it's been someone's livelihood - piano, guitar, what have you.

Periods are a pain (quite literally) but I'm not sure if it's a backward message to be sending our dds that they are a universal excuse. Indeed, some periods and some period days are a wipe-out, but playing the Period Card on day six could only lead to seeing females as whiney and weak (which most of us are not!).

it's not a privately-run gym. It's a council service paid for (I assume) by council tax payers

So why is OP wanting a reduction in fees if they don't pay fees?

Goodness so many of the responses on here are seriously unfeminist and lacking in empathy. It is like feminism never happened for so many women! OP, you raise a really good point, specific to the female sex, which is 100% a feminist issue in a world where the male body is the default (can the 'suck it up' brigade please read Caroline Criado Perez's latest book, Invisible Women: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men).

I didn't start till I was almost 16 and could not use tampons for years and years. It was excruciatingly painful trying, and not something you can get someone else to show you, not even a close friend or mum. I still find them painful. Also when swimming, the water soaks up the string and saturates the tampon. I've had blood trickling down my legs when I've exited the pool or bath when I've worn tampons. That would have been excruciatingly embarrassing as a teenage girl. How women on a feminism board can feel like they can tell young girls they should shove foreign objects up their vaginas is beyond me.

This all happens because the whole world has developed as if the male body is the default, and women and girls have to pretend their biology doesn't exist.

@TheRealHousewifeofCheshire

I really want to know more about this holiday system which you mention.
Could you tell us more? What context have you come across it in? Was it private or public sector? If you could pm me the name of the location, perhaps I could contact them for the policy and forward it to my council as a suggestion which would improve attendance all round.

Affects over 50%. No.

Because many of that 50% wouldn't be affected as they would be happy to use one of the many alternatives available.

It's not unfeminist if you don't believe this is a feminist issue.

Nobody ( the girls on their period or others using the pool) wants blood in the water. The options are use tampons or don't swim. When my kids were at preschool we still had to pay for days off due to illness. It's just life.

Well this thread is kind of weird.

I did horse riding as a kid (a LOT of expense to provide lessons involved... not just paying an instructor!). We were booked into regular lesson slots but paid on arrival. Obviously it is very necessary to know numbers for lessons in advance in this situation! Not just a case of an extra swimmer in a lane!

However. You had you regular group lesson that you always had a slot on. But if you gave an appropriate amount of notice (48 hours usually) you didn't have to pay it you paid a reduced amount to hold your slot at another place. They had a waiting list of people who could be called to try and fill the slot. I would sometimes get a call to see if I wanted an extra lesson when a space was available on a lesson of a similar standard to my regular one. If lesson went below a certain number the people who did go got a choice of a shortened lesson or paying more for a private or semi-private lesson. Most of the time I remember paying a bit more. That was fine because we knew it was the pay off for being able to cancel. And it really didn't happen often, most lessons were full until I was doing advanced lessons anyway. If people cancelled a lot they got asked to give up their regular slot and put on the wait list for cancellations.

Most riding school I have had anything to do with operate a similar system. It is perfectly possible for most women and girls to ride horses while on their period but for some it is difficult/they don't want to. At the grassroots level horse riding is a female dominated sport... I do wonder if that has encouraged a more flexible approach to lessons despite the more pressing need for lessons to be attended as expected than I can envision with swimming lessons.

I'm sure, since we seem to have been transported to AIBU for the day, I'm going to get 100 people telling me that their riding school didn't work like that and I'm talking bollox. but hey ho. My two pence worth.

Because many of that 50% wouldn't be affected as they would be happy to use one of the many alternatives available.

There’s one viable option for children: tampons. Which do pose a health risk that females weigh up against convenience. Sure some use them, often out of lack of option for sports. Here, we are having a conversation about how systems like this could better accommodate females, girls in this case. The ‘just use a tampon and get over it’ responses are disappointing. That this is an issue for any girl, should at the very least get some kind of compassion on a feminist board.

Sunkisses, and other less ‘commercial interest is the only interest’ posters, thank you for posting. I’m glad I started this thread. It has taught me a lot about how capitalism and patriarchy work together. It has shown me that women have spent so long ‘just dealing with inequalities’ that they are occasionally blinded to them.

My daughters have a strong sense of justice, and weekly swimming has been a big part of who they are and what they do. I will discuss with them some of the ideas on here, and ask them what they think we should do next.

I want to teach my kids that the things that affect them are important. I want them to know that they can question the way things are and not just live life subject to disadvantage.

WomaninBoots thanks, that’s a useful contribution. Although when I first started menstruating it was a bit unpredictable and not the regular 28 days, so I can see that giving 48 hours notice might not work for swimming.

Aquifolium I will come back to the private lessons just for your girls suggestion. If it’s viable financially it might be the best option. My coach was extremely understanding and he didn’t mind me giving short notice for stuff like this, I just had to be flexible too and get whatever spare lesson was next available.

Goodness so many of the responses on here are seriously unfeminist and lacking in empathy.

Not lacking in empathy at all. Just don't believe this is a feminist issue. It's all about choice. If you can't swim because of your period then you can't swim. It's not feminism it's biology and the swim school has no responsibility for that.

This all happens because the whole world has developed as if the male body is the default, and women and girls have to pretend their biology doesn't exist.

This isn't what's happening here though

So any reasonable suggestions are shot down immediately but business ruining demands are fine?
Tampons/cups/sponges - TSS, THEY WILL DIE
the pill- THEY WILL DIE

all businesses change so that women get preferential treatment to the detriment of the economy and practical operations- perfect!

That is not feminism.

It's not feminism it's biology

Oh that made me spit out my tea!! Are you for real? What the hell do you think women are oppressed by if not our biology? Our lady thoughts? Dear lord.

Yes, I did think that 48 hours is a good chunk of notice but it would reduce the amount of times you'd be paying for a lesson you couldn't attend. And given that horses don't have to be allocated or prepared 24 hours would probably be sufficient for slots up be filled. But then perhaps young swimmers aren't as addicted to swimming as young horse riders are addicted to riding and it would be more difficult to fill slots. I mean if I got a call asking if I wanted an extra lesson and mum said I could take it it was like all Christmasses and birthdays had gone at once!

So it’s up to women to learn to manage inequalities, not to expose them and ask for discussion to bring about solutions?
It’s not an inequality. There are no rules saying you cannot swim with a period but must pay. That would be inequality. Your girls are choosing not to use a product designed to help them be able to swim during their period.

They can swim. Quite well. They enjoy swimming. They like doing it as a structured, regular activity
Then surely getting them comfortable with tampons is what you should be doing to help them continue rather than bleating about cost.

It’s really a simple concept and one teenage swimmers have dealt with for a long time. Why are you making it a feminist issue?

Nobody said anybody is going to die. And I tell you what is not fucking feminist, referring to women’s valid health concerns as hysterical nonsense. Have just a modicum of respect please. Is AIBU down this morning or something? Geez.

Just in case anyone missed it, I haven’t asked for a reduction in fees for girls. I have mentioned that the girls in the classes are subsidising smaller class sizes for the boys. I have mentioned that I am paying for sessions that at the moment, my girls can’t use.

I like the idea of a more flexible system as woman in boots mentions, as well as housewife of Cheshire. I wonder if these systems come into play where the activity is more pricey, so the enterprise feels the need and are prepared for the extra admin to create some flexibility otherwise people would feel they are overcharging.

Why are you making it a feminist issue?

Because it is. It’s been explained why loads of times. Giving girls one option, which by the way isn’t actually that good for swimming and dies leak, and saying if they don’t want to stick it in their vagina that’s their problem, is what’s not feminist.

Yabbers as has been said many times, not all those 'solutions' are either suitable or desirable for all girls. It is only girls who potentially waste money on a class they can't attend. Hence it is both inequality and inequity.