Having a hard time with a man at work

[Biancadelrioisback]

I am the only female in a (very small) company. One of the men who works here keeps making odd, sweeping statements about 'women' and I have no idea how to handle this.
So basically, an example was today. He told me that women don't like men who cry and it's important to teach that to boys. I told him I absolutely did not agree, that I won't teach my son that and as a woman I prefer men not to bottle up their emotions. He told me that I was wrong, that women say they like men who show their emotions but really they dont. I pointed out again that, as a woman, I can't be grouped in with every other woman, that we think and feel independently, and that I know for a fact that many women do like men to show emotions. He just turned away and scoffed and I feel annoyed and frustrated.
He makes lots of comments like this, saying what 'women' do and don't like, or how 'women' act. I always point out that we are not all the same, that just like men, we are all different.
He also uses air quotes when talking about women feeling "threatened" by men as if it's a joke.

I've raised this with my manager who said he hasn't noticed. My manager is lovely and I think if he did notice he would speak up (he has in the past) but I don't think he hears things the same way I do. Or maybe I've become more sensitive to every day sexism?

As I say, we are a very small company and I love my job. I don't want to rock the boat. And basically, if this guy left without an immediate replacement, we might not make it.
He is young (25) and single but desperate for a girlfriend (he's always on tinder and POF) but says he can't find a 'nice girl', that they're all fake and he wants someone 'real'. He also isn't from the UK so perhaps the culture is a contribution factor here.

Argh, sorry for the rant, I just dont know how to handle this!

Maybe an eye roll and an under the breath huh. And if he questions it just say 'nothing' with an equally irritating and smug inward chuckle I've just read back and have seen someone's beat me to it

But generally don't pay him the compliment of engaging with his argument, just dismiss it with something like 'you've got some odd ideas haven't you!'
and then change the subject, don't let him have the spotlight

“Most women wouldn’t tell you to stuff your head up your own arse and suffocate yourself to death, but Im going to do just that!

He obviously knows nothing about women, and I would tell him so. After that I would go with the 'let me stop you there' suggestion.

I gotta say I would be very tempted by The 'mummy issues' line of..... humiliation
certainly you could take him down and make him feel like a complete idiot, but he WILL retaliate and it will go on

He's taking pleasure in winding you up.

I find a raised eyebrow and "hmm, how interesting" works well, then turn away. Never engage as you can't argue with stupid.

ask him next time irrespective of the comment he makes , why is he always telling you what women feel or want, does he not know you are a woman so you know this already, ( irrespective of the crap he's spouting) then keep commenting when he does it that you have never met a man so in touch with the way you ,the woman, thinks.

Irritating colleague: "Women hate men who cry".

OP: "All men disrespect women".

IC: "You can't generalise like that"

OP: Looks at IC and waits for the penny to drop.

"when you actually understand women, you can voice an opinion Jerffrey"

Yep, grey rock.

And then, a step on from that - rudeness- just ignore. Or reply 'mmm' and simply be offhand, make it clear you can't be arsed to engage or make time for him.

If he comments, then just shrug and say, 'well, sorry to be harsh Jeff but it's pretty much the same conversation every time isn't it, let me guess, x is the way it is because 'women' (using your air quotes here Jeff baby!) do this and 'women' all think that... sorry if this comes across as harsh but you don't seem to have much of an idea about people except in the very simplest terms. Sexism is boring because sexism is thick, educate yourself a bit or you're going to find more people switching off when you start talking!'

Or just laugh, and say "oh gosh you are so funny."

"Jeffrey do you have to work hard at being a twat or does it come naturally?"

'Well I know what my opinion is on that', nod to self and turn back to your work.

Never feel the need to tell him your opinion. Why would you - are you interested in seeking his?

I wouldn't come back with any smart or funny responses, or argue back. He just likes getting a reaction. So don't give him one. Walk away/turn your back/assume a blankly polite expression and say 'I'm off to the photocopier/cafe/loo now' and go.

I would however write down everything he says – don't try to hide from him the fact that you're writing, but don't respond if he asks what you're doing –just in case.

Oh and BTW: My manager is lovely No he isn't. I don't think he hears things the same way I do. Please. You know that's rubbish. And yes, it is about everyday sexism.

I'd have to say "What a load of bollocks."

"Have you ever met any women?"

I have a feeling he's never had and never will have a successful date if he keeps dribbling this pish at women 🙄

You could say 'if I want your opinion about women I will ask you for it'
And then just go back to your day

I'd just give him loads of stick back. I'd say something like "oh, you are an expert on women are you?" and laugh or say something like "well, if you know them so well why are you single?"

Don't rise to it...he's trying to wind you up. He wants to debate with you but remember you can't argue with stupid.
Just nod sympathetically at him when he talks shit.

Could it be a very poor attempt at flirting?

I met a few like that. I'd just ignore, never engage with them, play dump with them and play the "girl" card all the time, get promoted above them and keep ignoring with a smug smile.
Works a charm.

"Strange that someone who supposedly knows more about what women want than me, a woman, doesn't have an actual girlfriend. Maybe you don't know quite as much as you think?"

I wouldn't engage with him about anything other than work related issues.
He has nothing of merit to say, but listening to him will probably end badly, one way or another.

If I responded at all it would be:
"Really? Would you excuse me.." then go back to work, walk off, etc