I've lost my daughter to trans activism

[slipperywhensparticus]

First year at uni and she is lost

I've known she is a lesbian for ages it doesn't bother me

She now believes Julia long is violent aggressive and deserves to be forcibly removed for thinking about asking questions

Men are allowed to be women if that's how they feel

Biology is not reality

The female brain is real

Karen white is a rare example and it was only once it's not enough to get worked up about

She considers herself part of the trans community despite considering herself female

She believes women can have penises

Fucks sake I hate this she isnt even bothered about sharing toilets and changing rooms with men

I'm giving up why should I fight when my only reason to protect women's spaces isnt bothered fuck it all

Ask if she would be okay with having sex with a transwoman who still has full male anatomy.

BEcause she is still young and hasn’t experienced bad stuff.

I dunno know.
Ask her if she’s happy with kids being experimented on

Will she shag a person who claims to b3 a lesbian but has a penis cos that is what i5 boils down to in the end

And if she would be okay with it then ask her if she thinks other lesbians should have the right to turn transwomen down without being labelled bigoted and transphobic.

Remind her that LGB part of the LGBT community spent years fighting for her right to choose who she should be able to love. Remind her that if she thinks lesbians should have sex with transwomen then she is throwing all of that hard work back in their faces.

Talk about normal stuff. Don't get into a head to head. Your views will have an influence.

You haven't lost your daughter OP, that's a bit dramatic for a political opinion no matter how misguided. I joined the socialist workers party at university and tried drugs, my Tory voting dad just laughed at me.

First year at university is peak idealism meets minimum life experience. I went full TWAW at uni. Much like the socialist workers party, I realised it was heavily misogynist and grew out of it.

Apparently gay pride was started by a black trans man I thought it was started by a gay couple and a lesbian couple I feel like my entire history has been re written

It's awful I've told her we will have to agree to disagree about this

She has a trans woman at uni with her apparently she isnt trans but gender is a social thing after all and rolled her eyes at me I think I'm finally getting my comeuppance for her being a good kid all these years

How frustrating and upsetting.
But, you're probably better off not getting into a big row over this.
Perhaps say you'll have to agree to disagree and change the subject..
But maybe ask if she as a lesbian would actually be willing to have a sexual relationship with a transwoman. If not, why not.
It's unlikely you'll be having these conversations in a few years time.

Channel a toddler, ask her ‘why?’ a lot.
Get her to explain all her positions to you, really explain them (because obviously boring old mum hasn’t a clue). She’ll realise how illogical she’s being eventually. Either that or she’ll be turned on for claiming to be part of the trans community without actually being trans/not being a loyal enough ally.

Loads of women think feminism is old hat and not necessary until something happens that makes the invisible patriarchy walls apparent. For me (like many) it was pregnancy.

Don’t let this be a wedge between you - eventually she will realise you were right all along.

My 15 year old dd is the same. It’s so sad and frustrating. I can’t get through to her the importance of safe female only space...her argument is that trans women are female. I can’t get her to understand the unfairness of someone who identifies as a woman but is biologically male being able to compete against biological females in sports. I just don’t know what to do.

Don't give up on her yet. I have a friend whose daughter went to Uni and thought the same way your daughter did, her mum is GC and found it difficult, but having finished Uni her daughter is slowly changing her perspective.

I met a young woman recently, I think she was a first year student, I felt so sorry for her as she seemed so miserable and confused mainly because she seemed to push her own needs and thoughts aside because her friend was a transwoman. We agreed on a lot of points to a degree then we would hit a point and she'd say 'but my friend is a transwoman'; in my opinion he sounded like a manipulative shit and probably contributed to her binding. I do feel as though students on some courses feel as though they have to accept the trans narrative in order to fit in even if if means ignoring their own discomfort with the narrative.

My daughter is straight but I know we would completely disagree if we discussed this. I don't talk about it to her and if she brought it up I'd say we should not talk about it as we'd probably disagree. I feel she'll move on after a while and vomit up the Kool Aid, but until then I'm not risking anything.

Can you agree to disagree with her, particularly as she sounds as though she's not very happy at the moment?

She's entitled to her views, even ones that are different to yours. Keep discussing it if you agree to give each other the respect to state your views and both listen. If it's causing rows and you don't want it to you will need to agree to disagree. She's your daughter so I'm sure there is more to your relationship than this topic.

Sorry, just read that post where you say you have agreed to disagree.

Well, yeah... gender is a social thing. Biological sex isn't though - and if your DD is a lesbian she will understand this in time.

Also, she really needs to actually meet Julia Long before denouncing her. Julia speaks common sense from her heart without judgement. No wonder she's so scary for some....

Youth is wasted on the young.

Sorry OP. Your frustration is palpable and totally understandable. I'd go with the succinct suggestions above.

I am appalled at the way universities are hothousing this illogical rubbish.

She may yet come round though. Experience tends to erode naive idealism eventually.

I think I'd say that she is entitled to her views, but she has no right to minimize rape or dismiss the victims of sexual assault.

So long as she isn't studying "Gender Studies" or "Queer Theory" or anything like that... You're probably safe. It's a phase they're all going through at that age right now because to not go along with it, you get DIAF Terf scum comments which is far, far scarier if you go against the trend. Maybe she'll be receptive to looking at terfisaslur.com ask if she thinks all that's ok?

I remember my 1st year at uni too. The shit I believed. She's finding her way, it won't be permanent. She'll grow out of it.

Just help her with the practicalities of her actual chosen subject (hopefully not queer theory or gender studies??) and be supportive. Agree to disagree on TWAW.

I feel your pain
I have a DD who is bi and of all my DC she is the most vocal trans supporter. Partly I blame myself for raising them to be kind, non judgemental etc....and also for shielding them from the worst excesses of men, as far as I could. I don;t think they really know the worst excesses of male behaviour (NAMALT) and hence the need to preserve women's spaces.

There's no point in arguing. But there is a point in keeping communication flowing between you. Find something else to talk about. Good luck.

Maybe show her this akd ask her how she feels about being gay having been re defined as same gender attracted by the very people founded to support them

Tbh it may be difficult for her to have a different view at the moment. First year of uni is a huge transition for most young people irrespective of how intelligent and psychologically healthy they might be.
You daughter may be doing the equivalent of 'la la la, I can't hear you' as a way of keeping cognitive dissonance at bay and keeping in step with the 'right-think' of her peers.
I agree with PP who say stay calm and gently challenge her thinking ever so often so it doen't harden into unprocessed belief, i.e. would she consider a sexual relationship with a transwoman and if not, why not?
I don't think you have lost your daughter to TRA activism long term, just that the T has infiltrated the LGB community to such an extent that your daughter may feel she has to be seen to be parroting the 'right-think' to be fully accepted into university lesbian society.

'your daughter may feel she has to be seen to be parroting the 'right-think' to be fully accepted into university lesbian society'

This is not necessarily conscious thought by the way... atm she may actually believe the TWAW line and believe this is entirely her own thoroughly processed and well-considered belief.

She may not be able to see that it is risky for her to believe [and voice] another way of thinking, that this could make her vulnerable to personal attack as a confirmed 'bigot' if she does not parrot TWAW and 'Trans Rights are Human Rights' and that there is such a thing as the female penis.

FWIW if i was 18 and a first-year uni student I would probably do exactly the same. It is only now as a mid 40s women with children, adult firiends and a well established professional career that I feel somewhat brave enough to speak out about my disbelief in trans ideology. Even then I would always be very careful who I state my beliefs to as I do not want to be labelled a bigot in my professional life as I regularly work with the LGB community and have a personal and organisational reputation to uphold.

DH came home from work a few weeks ago with the news that one of his colleagues has a daughter who started uni last September and has now decided she is trans and is already seeking medical treatment ...poor man is in a state, it's come completely out of the blue.
Meanwhile I am awaiting the return of my own DD from her year abroad in Vancouver where she has done some gender studies modules. She has a brand new boyfriend who is at the same uni as her, here in the UK, but they only met over there. He has trans flags on his Facebook (yeah, I'm a Facebook stalker) and DD recently offered the interesting nugget of information that his older brother had a relationship with a trans woman except he didn't know he was trans at the time and they split up after the information came out and now he never talks about it.
I think I will have to keep mouth firmly shut when we meet.

I don't know what any of this means except it's everywhere!

I'm beginning to wonder if it is an extreme form of natural selection/population control , sterilising and/or messing with the sexuality of a generation. I often ramble on about the world being overpopulated but I didn't anticipate that somehow nature would pull a joke like this on the human race to address the problem.

now there's an interesting thought....