"Sex games gone wrong" that result in women's death.

[RubberTreePlant]

Never men's death.

In the need again today.

This is a poisonous notion isn't it?

I'm trying to pin down when it became a common tripe in the justice system/MSM.

There have been plenty of men who end up milking themselves though (kinky games).

Urgh, to me it's akin to the spate of men denying rapes and using bdsm as an excuse. Lying, GUILTY men.

MILKING themselves @LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD ?!

Urgh, to me it's akin to the spate of men denying rapes and using bdsm as an excuse. Lying, GUILTY men.

Yes, exactly.

There's another human in the room DOING SOMETHING that results in death. Either by omission or commission. A sex game isn't an independent entity.

Absolutely. Choking women during sex = practice. There seeing exactly how hard and for how long they need to do it for.

Also very handy when they are successful in killing her “she was well into it - look we did it all these times before consentually so there is no reason for you to believe she didn’t consent to me strangling her this time”

“she was well into it - look we did it all these times before consentually so there is no reason for you to believe she didn’t consent to me strangling her this time”

Thank you for articulating it so clearly. That's exactly what's bothering me.

It’s made to appear so fucking mainstream that no-one blinks at hearing another woman has died during a “sex game”

On social media reports of the death of the British woman in today’s news people are calling others vanilla for not being interested in asphyxiation.

Sex games involving asphyxiation have long been making news because they resulted in death, in my memory in the past it seems to have been mostly men that died during solo experimentation?

I agree that this is horrific and we need to be warning women as well as educating men

There has been a website set up collating these:

wecantconsenttothis.uk

Be warned, it is very grim reading, and will make you very angry.

Thanks @ItsAllGoingToBeFine

I think I might leave it until tomorrow but I'll have a look.

in my memory in the past it seems to have been mostly men that died during solo experimentation?

Same here.

There has been a huge increase in recent years, to my knowledge/awareness, of women dying due to asphyxiation, and it’s never solo/self inflicted.

It shouldn't be allowed as a defense, full stop. If I drive recklessly and crash killing my passenger, I wouldn't be admonished because I claim said passenger was encouraging me to go fast. My actions caused their death and that is the only relevant fact.

This makes me so FUCKING angry. How the fuck can anyone believe she wanted that?! You clearly know if your partner has lost consciousness ffs.

There have been a number of men that have died, but to my recollection it is usually when experimenting on their own, as another poster has pointed out.

I am what some might call "kink positive", although on the milder side than most, but there should NEVER be ANY excuse for this. It disgusts me when this "sex game gone wrong" line gets thrown out as a way to get men off a murder charge.

Noone can consent to being killed (notwithstanding euthanasia laws in some countries but that's clearly a different scenario) and I cannot believe that can even be considered as a line of defence, that someone consented to an act so extreme it could result in death.

Even if a woman (or man) consents to an extreme practice, even if the perpetrator has that consent signed in triplicate, if anyone wants to practice extreme things such as this you have a responsibility to do it safely and your partner's safety is paramount. If you cannot do that then you should face the full weight of the law, not be given a get out of gaol free card.

If I signed up to go bungee jumping, for example, and the operator was negligent and I died you can be damn sure someone would be in gaol.

To be honest I doubt the man in question is even into BDSM, it's just a convenient excuse that gets trotted out in situations like this.

Hello. We set up wecantconsenttothis.uk thanks to mumsnet.

Anna Florence Reed is the 50th UK woman to die like this, with many many more women "just" injured by men who claim it happened in sex gone wrong.

We've also found a small number of gay men killed, by men, who claim this. And we've found small numbers of men who kill themselves, accidentally it seems.

The only woman we've found ran a dungeon with her husband - a man who paid them frequently for bdsm services died when he (according to them at least) locked himself in a collar.

In contrast, the woman killed have often been horribly injured. Most (27 of the 50) have been strangled. The women are:

• Young women or girls who've just met the men who kill them
• Women in relationships with men who have previous abuse history
• Women who are prostitutes, killed by the men they meet for sex

These are crimes of male violence.

The earliest case is 1972 - they are getting more frequent in recent years.

Yes of course women love violent sex to the point of near death that this isn’t the man fault hoe could he help himself

She was murdered as the other women were and raped as what may have started out as consensual certainly changed at some point

There had to be done more to highlight the dangers of violence in porn that is being normalised too

Thank you for those details womandaresto. Sadly I am not surprised at all by any of them. It’s just so predictable.

Another finding - we've found no women who we could say died in solo asphyxiation gone wrong.

There is one woman where the police did not treat the scene as a crime scene and so it was unable to be found how she had died. Her family described her relationship with her partner as "strange and unnatural"

Similarly, Lesley Potter was found and police assumed she died in a solo-sex game (thanks to her husband's claims). They did not deem it a crime and he was convicted of murder only because he confessed to it in the pub

And Jessica Mcgraa isn't even in our list - but THE POLICE told press that she had died in a solo sex game, until to their surprise the post mortem found she had been murdered.

Very clear there is a need for more up to date training in the police forces then.

It makes me sick to my stomach. These rapists & murderers are pretty much hiding in plain sight. Most people simply don't give a fuck though, as it's just white noise in the background and we are increasingly indifferent as a society to the worsening violence against women.

woman thank you and your group for doing this. Its absolutely disgusting what some men get up to and how they are able to get away with such depraved acts.

Woman, thank you for what you are doing is there anything we can do? Petitions?

woman thank you and your group for doing this.

Yes from me too

Thank you so much for your work WomanDaresTo. Is there anything we can do to help?

I feel like there ought to be media guidelines against headlines which give credence to this abuser’s narrative which is so patently false.