How would you feel about having a male midwide

[Lardlizard]

Just interested in the points of view

• not sure where manager came from, weird autocorrect

MIchel Odent, the French obstetrician, goes as far as to say that men shouldn't be in the delivery room at all, including fathers, because their presences can interfere with the birth process:

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/oct/18/men-birth-labour-baby

@Erythronium

Who is suggested as a suitable birth partner then?

From the article:

""The ideal birth environment involves no men in general. Having been involved for more than 50 years in childbirths in homes and hospitals in France, England and Africa, the best environment I know for an easy birth is when there is nobody around the woman in labour apart from a silent, low-profile and experienced midwife – and no doctor and no husband, nobody else," Odent told the Observer. "In this situation, more often than not, the birth is easier and faster than what happens when there are other people around, especially male figures – husbands and doctors.""

LittleChristmasMouse I’m guessing other women? Mothers, sisters, close friends and so on. I know women who have separated and not had the father in the picture by the time birth came and they generally had their mum with them.

I think what he advocates is a midwife so busy knitting that she can't transfer her own adrenaline induced stress to the mother?

Given that most women are left without a midwife for most of their labour if you have no birth partner you would be entirely on your own. How stress free would that be? He doesn't even advocate no men but also no monitoring and only 1 stress free midwife too, so that also precludes lots of female midwives.

Still making up nonsense mouse

Good god!

Read and do your research about the chemicals involved in labour and the results of interventions and stress.

decimalpoint

Odent doesn't advocate any other birthing partners apart from 1 midwife.

And my mum would be the very last person that I would have wanted to be present.

I also would not have been at all relaxed in front of my friends. I did not want anyone that I knew to see my in that position, apart from my husband. That would have made me far more stressed rather than less.

Smotheroffive

You are embarrassing yourself. That is exactly what Odent said " a single midwife busy knitting"

What exactly are you fighting for here?

I am still at the numbers here feeling they have to big up a male MW, when that's not even asked! Considering how few there are they do seem to do most of the deliveries,not that I ever saw one, or on any of the many teams I have been involved with for research and work purposes.

I would not want a male midwife. For obvious reasons, l believe that midwives should be female.

I am fighting for a woman to have who she wants present to support her - not who you, or anyone else tells her that she has to have.

Just because some would rather have their mum or a friend doesn't mean we all would.

I won't tell you who to have as a birth partner and you have no right to tell me who to have.

The only one embarrassing themselves little is you, by coming onto a feminist chat and ‘whataboutering’

I don’t know what you’re trying to achieve, whether you’re hoping for the big ‘gotcha’ moment. Or for someone to change their views and say that you’re right, because you’re not, that’s not going to happen. You’re making the whole thing personal to you, whereas others, myself included, can see the bigger picture.

Not having men in the room? What ridiculous bollocks.

I don't let go of my dh when I was in labour. When he went to to the toilet I shuffled along after him holding on to his leg and crying from him not to leave. It would have been 1000 times harder for me to labour if he hadn't have been there. He made me feel safe.

The total lack of reference to community midwives (and all the things they are responsible for, mostly done in your home) by so many posters in this thread boggles my mind

I wasn't visited by a community midwife. No one mentioned such a person and I wasn't offered one. I have never heard of such a thing until this thread. A general health visitor attached to the GP surgery came round twice after I came home from hospital (she was pretty useless)

Does that boggle your mind sufficiently?

My midwife started knitting and I went fucking ballistic. I appreciate she was bored but it really made me feel like I was in it for the long haul.

HalfBloodPrincess

I know I'm being so controversial saying each woman should be free to choose what is right for her rather than having to have what other women tells her she has to have.

Terrible.

At first I thought oh no but I don't think it would bother me really m, I'd have too much going on to be bothered about whether the midwife was male or female.

I had a male doctor come see me and give me an internal examination while in labour as it wasn't going well and a decision needed to be made. I cldnt have cared if he was half man half monkey by that point 😂

I would like to see statistics on the inhibition of labour that has been referenced here.

I really try hard not to dismiss what I read on FWR as bollcoks, but in this case I think it really is.
I'm sure I can't be the only woman who's stress would be higher with mum or a female friend in the room than DH. Not sure what I would have done without DH.

morality

Seems from this thread that not everyone had a community midwife

For what its worth i had a community midwife...obviously before the birth and after at home before the health visitor took over

I'm sure I can't be the only woman who's stress would be higher with mum or a female friend in the room than DH. Not sure what I would have done without DH.

Me too. My mum would have been the last person in the world I'd have wanted and I would have been mortified if my friends were there. My husband made me feel safe when everything else was falling apart.

I think you have been pretty hostile to many women on here mouse and really rude.

I have no idea why. Strange.

It's about women being facilitated to birth well, successfully. Male presence is an inhibitor, as would be a sister that you didn't want there, or anyone else, but for different reasons.

It wouldn't bother me at all, as long as they're qualified and capable of taking care of me and my baby then why not? Being honest once I'm in full blown labour I wouldn't care if the room was full of male midwives. I highly doubt any man would be looking at me half naked screaming and panting fully dilated nearly pooing myself looking at me in any inappropriate way. Same as if a female midwife was gay, it wouldn't phase me. I'd put every bit of trust in their professionalism and be more interested in delivering my baby safe and sound.

I would have hated having a male midwife. I remember actually worrying that that might happen.

Smotheroffive

Yes of course and of course no one has been hostile towards me.

We have different opinions. What is right for you isn't right for me. Difference is that I don't want to make you do what I want.

If you don't want men in your delivery room then great, choose who you want there and then leave me free to make my own choice based on what is best for me.