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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

How would you feel about having a male midwide

999 replies

Lardlizard · 11/04/2019 09:25

Just interested in the points of view

OP posts:
Smotheroffive · 13/04/2019 23:45

LassofFyvie that wasn't what I meant Confused. Why would I mean that, really!?
Confused

Smotheroffive · 13/04/2019 23:46

Again, anyone will do if you're about to die! Or lose your baby... Jeez...

Smotheroffive · 13/04/2019 23:57

The instinctive shutting down of labour when males are around is ignored.

Good MWs know the value in following a woman's lead in labour for maximising its chances of a successful outcome with less interventions.

I am deeply saddened that this is not widespread knowledge,given the years women have been birthing with other women supporting them.

Smotheroffive · 13/04/2019 23:58

Change of teams and transfer to hospital is known to do the same.

LassOfFyvie · 14/04/2019 00:06

Smotheroffive

LassofFyvie that wasn't what I meant . Why would I mean that, really!?

I don't know what you meant then.

It's instinctive, and its ignored,but good MWs will know absolutely know how to help women labour well and not hinder its progression as a man there's nothing you can do to help except stay out of the room

What is "a good midwife" and does being a man preclude this?.


Smotheroffive · 14/04/2019 00:13

Have a read, I was quite clear and have repeated for further clarity, and no, its not in the best interests of a labouring woman to have a male present [instinctively]

Erythronium · 14/04/2019 02:42

The etymology of midwife gives away who should be doing it:

"midwife (n.)

"a woman who assists women in childbirth," c. 1300, literally "woman who is 'with' " (the mother at birth), from Middle English mid "with" (see mid (prep.)) + wif "woman" (see wife). Cognate with German Beifrau."

Smotheroffive · 14/04/2019 03:11

So a man can't actually be a 'midwife' as he's not a woman

mathanxiety · 14/04/2019 05:31

And call me or my DH old fashioned but I don’t think DH is the only man who would feel uncomfortable watching another man giving his wife a back massage or being shown how to give his wife a back massage by that man.

Hmm

It would surely be a huge pity if necessary comfort or care were to be withheld from a labouring woman because of the delicate feelings of some male diddums.

mathanxiety · 14/04/2019 06:00

Of course lots of obstetricians are male and often there isn’t a choice, the thing is the obstetrician tends just to sweep in to save the day at the end of a tricky labour or to do the LSCS.
Which is entirely different to the job of the midwife, which can be very intimate during labour, not just internal examinations but also hugs, massages, cold compresses on the perineum, mopping up vomit and poo.

It's not the case everywhere that the OB sweeps in and takes all the credit at the end.

My deliveries in the US featured OB nurses' constant presence during labour, regular check-ins and internal exams and readings of monitors by the obstetrician, and either obstetrician or resident presence (in the case of DS's delivery a roomful of residents and the obstetrician) for the active stage, with nurses assisting at mopping and handing necessary syringes, ventouse equipment, episiotomy scissors, stitching items, gauze, etc to the obstetrician for the patching up process.

For my one delivery with a midwife team, nurses also did the mopping and 'surgery nurse' thing at the end.

Midwives in the US have masters degrees in nursing/midwifery at the minimum, and have passed national certification exams.

Then there is post natal care, things like helping with hot and cold compresses for engorged breasts, helping to express milk, checking the perineal healing, applying ice packs to haemorrhoids.
All done very expertly by a combination of male OB and nurses, in my case. The doctors checked my perineal healing, and nurses showed me how to use ice packs.

I was never in hospital long enough to have engorged breasts but had been given pep talks by the lactation consultant about hot and cold compresses, was sent home with a supply of very handy perineal chemical ice packs and perineal irrigation bottles, and on the one occasion when I had a thrombosed hemorrhoid and needed to return to the hospital three days after delivery, I was first checked by my male OB and then sent to a male general surgeon who did me the biggest favour anyone has ever done me, in an examining room in his office.

It was my (male) OB who showed me how to get a good latch.

..................

The references to chaperones, and thus the need for female HCPs as community midwives and MWs in the hospital setting, are very interesting, since in many cultures the necessity for chaperones for women stems from male insecurity about other males around their chattels, and concerns about honour being besmirched. It seems to me that advocating for excluding male HCPs in this context is pandering to a patriarchal structure that should actually be challenged.

mathanxiety · 14/04/2019 06:01
    • Do Not Google Thrombosed Hemorrhoids * *
CarrieBlu · 14/04/2019 06:08

For both of my births they have had to hit the emergency button so I’ve ended up with many hospital staff, including male doctors and midwives, stood at the end of my bed with a full view of what was going on. By that point I wouldn’t have cared who was there, if they were helping to get my babies out safely.

deydododatdodontdeydo · 14/04/2019 08:33

The instinctive shutting down of labour when males are around is ignored.

Again, is this true?
A couple of posters have posted it, but this is the first I've heard of it.

CapeDaisy5 · 14/04/2019 09:34

I had two females for my water birth. Not a male in sight from entering the hospital to being discharged. Even when I was getting stitched up afterwards, it was a female - It was embarrassing, I wouldn't of wanted a male doing it.

I have been in the position of having a male when I did not expect it. I had always seen a female at the gyn clinic, went there to get treatment for genital warts (frozen off) and walked into the room to find a man. I had to lay down and have legs spread on the stirrup things while he did the job. It was horrible but I didn't want to offend him by asking for a woman at that point. I was already in the room.

PanamaPattie · 14/04/2019 12:11

I think that’s is very sad that people would rather not offend male HCP than speak up and request a female. It should be all about your comfort and dignity. The feelings of the male HCP shouldn’t matter.

decimalpoint · 14/04/2019 14:02

Are midwives commonplace in the USA?

I have just noticed a lot from other forums/FB groups and so on that a lot of the US ladies often have an obstetrician even for a straightforward natural labour and birth, and often talk about appointments with OB rather than midwife even for straightforward pregnancies. Also noticed American birth stories refer to ‘nurses’ being involved in the birth alongside the OB. Seems completely different to the UK.

BertrandRussell · 14/04/2019 14:18

I thought midwifery was actually illegal in at least some States in America.....

FlaviaAlbia · 14/04/2019 14:51

It doesn't exist in America as a regulated profession I think, so anyone could call themselves a midwife, similar to doula's in the UK.

Guyliner · 14/04/2019 16:36

Of course it exists in America! And some hospitals have midwives. It tends to be doctor led though. Its seen as a bit more alternative though.

FlaviaAlbia · 14/04/2019 16:40

Oh right, sorry, could have sworn one of my US friends told me that but maybe we were talking at cross purposes.

Guyliner · 14/04/2019 16:40

And of course they are regulated.

Guyliner · 14/04/2019 16:40

Xpost.

Guyliner · 14/04/2019 16:42

It's not the most common way to give birth flavia so it's very possible she doesn't know anything about it. Most women opt for pain regulated births so you need to have a doctor really.

pinkgloves · 14/04/2019 16:57

It doesn't exist in America as a regulated profession I think, so anyone could call themselves a midwife, similar to doula's in the UK.

Absolute rubbish. I had midwives at my home birth that were fully regulated. Three good friends of mine are midwives. One works in a hospital, the others do home births. Licensed, registered and regulated.

God some people spout crap on mn. Hmm