How would you feel about having a male midwide

[Lardlizard]

Just interested in the points of view

Prequelle

But that's for individual women to decide surely?

On this thread some women only want female midwives and that should be respected, completely support their choice.

Then posters who aren't fussed either way or some who would prefer a male midwife - they are basically told they are wrong.

I don't get this. People saying they don't mind are taking nothing away from those who only want women so why can't you support choice? Not all women are the same and some have reasons for not wanting female staff to deliver intimate care. Why can't you just accept that as being their choice?

Ask me not pregnant - no thanks
Ask me in labour - I do not give a shiny shit who looks, who delivers, how many people are looking at my nether regions as long as the baby is out safely and I'm alive. Really. Most of the consultants I had to see were men so a male midwife? Doesn't matter as long as they are good at their job.

BarbieJellyBabyBrain

I can only speak for the two in my family. The vast majority of teachers at our primary are amazing, mostly women, a couple of men. I certainly wouldn't be awarding any credit just for being male but maybe others would.

People keep banging on about seeing male doctors etc as if that's any way comparable to spending hours upon hours in your most vulnerable moment, shitting pissing yourself, screaming, losing control, becoming animalistic, regressing, etc with someone

Well maybe that’s because some people’s labours aren’t like that. Mine wasn’t and I barely had a MW with me at all the whole delivery. She settled me in a bed, came back a few hours later and I delivered a couple of minutes after that.

if a woman doesn’t want a male midwife, she should be able to voice that, and she doesn’t even have to give reason why! Her choice. End of all discussion for that particular woman.

Agreed.

Both my bio babies were surgical births, so there was a whole team of male and female staff present. I wouldn’t have minded a bit if the midwife was male.

However, if I had had a vaginal birth, I would probably have wanted a female midwife.
I was a young, single mum when my eldest was born and my mother, my birth partner, had not long been diagnosed with ovarian cancer. It was a very emotional time, and my long (unsuccessful) labour was very intense.
It was a uniquely female experience, and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

That said, it was a lovely young, male, registrar that came out to the car park, where I had legged it (during the ‘transition’ stage, no less!) to talk me into coming back inside - I was pretty set on gletting a taxi to my nanna’s house and ‘coming back in the morning’ 😂

I had a male midwife for some of my appointments. It was fine I suppose. I did prefer women who had been through birth simply because they could empathise more as they know what it was like to be on the pregnant end.
However, things like a stretch and sweep - I would have felt incredibly uncomfortable having a man do this to me.
Any sort of intimate exam I would want a female.

I had a male dr who delivered my son after complications, I have to say the female midwife was totally out of her depth, her nervousness on the situation really didnt help I was so thankful when the dr came in and finally delivered my son after he was stuck.

Just curious would it have been wrong if I had refused his help in delivering my son on the basis of his gender which potentially saved my sons life? Also baring in mind hospitals are severely short staffed and if there were any female drs about it would be unlikely she could drop what she was doing on the basis of me wishing to select my dr.
I dont think its as simple to refuse on the basis of gender even if you would like to. Hospitals are so short staffed these days.

You keep saying gender pink ... I don't think anyone gives a shit about a hcps favourite stereotypes.

The middle shift midwife with my first was male. It didn’t bother me at all and he was fine. The poor sod got me at my shitting stage, no en-suite so on a bedpan for ages repeatedly.
He was nicer than the third bored female midwife who delivered me.
Women should always have the choice though I think.

"You keep saying gender pink ... I don't think anyone gives a shit about a hcps favourite stereotypes."

@tayem not sure what you have against the word gender its quite strange how you dont like someone saying it twice
I also have no idea what you are talking about with hcps favourite stereotypes.
😂

I have 4 Dc- had a male midwife with the 3rd- he was the best midwife I had- so kind caring and coped so well with my many breakdowns- also felt that my husband was "more involved" for some reason? Would've preferred him last time round 😃

Oh God, really pink?

Sex - biological reality.
Gender - the narrative of approved behaviour imposed upon the sexes by society.

@tayem I dont think I have ever come across anyone on here who has been so desperate to be offended as you.
So weird😂

I had a man deliver my first. He was a consultant, not a midwife. Made no difference to me!

Offended by what?

At worst, you could accuse me of being pedantic.

Yes very pedantic too!

But, back to the offended, how does that work? Or are you just firing out random words at this point?

I had a male midwife with my first child. He was great. Later he became our health visitor and he was great at that too.

I had one briefly postnatally I wasn't comfortable with the situation, but then I'd just had the male obstetrician stick his hand up my vag without asking, so I wasn't in the mood for male company.

Dear god we ask for so little and even that is too much.

I had 2 male midwifes with DC3, my easiest birth, they were great and stayed after their shift had officially eneded to see things through.

@tayem I dont know how you could be offended over the word gender you are the one who picked on the fact I said it twice.
Then started waffling on about favourite stereotypes.
You talk a whole load of nonsense, you have made me chuckle though.😂

I think we’re up to about 500 male midwives .........

You really don’t get why the word gender is contentious right now?? You used it where the word sex is more appropriate. No, actually.
Just correct.