How would you feel about having a male midwide

[Lardlizard]

Just interested in the points of view

Like is all the caring roles, it's dominated by women, I'm not surprised it is hard to get hold of a male nurse on a regular ward. And I expect it is hard to find one if you want one.

Although one did come around the mixed ward, after I had had an asthma attack and offered me a sponge bath. I was 20 yo and instead of asking for a female hcp I said no and waited for a whole day, till I was well enough to stand up in the shower on my own - so I didn't hurt his feelings. Honestly, I despair at my younger self.

I had a male midwife for my c-section and a female surgeon. The only issue was the midwife telling me he hadn't ever done a c-section before as we were entering the operating theatre

And I love that my son will know that it was a male midwife, showing him you don't need to conform to stereotypical gender based roles.

I think that's a good point. Many people who wouldn't want a male midwife are the same ones that say male/female stereotypes are harmful and causing a rise in the number of trans children, male violence, women to not achieve etc. Stereotypically boys/men don't become midwives. If we want to stop the stereotypes maybe women on the whole should be more accepting of male midwives.

Has anyone said that males should be banned from being midwives?

Yes Ereshkigal RepealtheGRA said exactly that

While we’re on the subject I actually think that midwifery is a profession that the sex exemptions should be applied to.

Women's bodies aren't required to be inclusive environments. I'm all for more male HCPs, not least because as another poster has pointed out many men are left without the choice of a same sex carer. But I see no reason or need to attempt to increase the number of male midwives specifically. What would be the purpose of that? There are plenty of ways to challenge stereotypes that don't involve putting men into situations with naked vulnerable women.

Where was the choice for those male patients?

Why do you persist in this argument? This thread is very specific: it's to do with childbirth and midwifery. How many men do you know who've given birth? 'What about the men what about the men though'- not relevant. In an ideal world, men should be able to have the choice for their own personal dignity but as it stands, the female nurses attending to them are more in danger of being subjected to inappropriate behaviour than the male patients are at the hands of the nurses.

Wouldn't care. He's studies and qualified the same as a female midwife. It wouldn't be any different to a female midwife who hadn't experienced birth/ labour etc.

You can request a different midwife if you want to. But what if this was "I don't want a black midwife"? There's no reason a man cannot be a midwife, and there are plenty of stories of women having awful experiences with female midwives.

During my first pregnancy, I always said I wouldn't mind as long as they were good at their job and understanding.

I'm now expecting #2 and due soon. Knowing what's involved with childbirth, I'm a bit more reluctant to have a male midwife but wouldn't rule it out either. Oddly, I don't think it's the actual birth itself but the aftermath -- stitches, breastfeeding support, checking my vagina, etc. I wouldn't feel comfortable having a male so close with the 'intimate' side of things. I don't mind if the female midwife took the lead and the male was there as more support (filling the birthing pool, administrating the injection for afterbirth, weighing the baby, etc) but I'd only want a female to do any intimate care such as examinations etc.

If we want to stop the stereotypes maybe women on the whole should be more accepting of male midwives

I don’t think it’s the ‘not accepting’ of Male midwives that’s the issue. It’s the ‘not accepting’ a percentage of women who would prefer a female midwife that’s the bigger issue.

It's not an unreasonable view. I'd need to give it more thought. I'm not sure why you'd see applying sex based exemptions as an attack on your personal rights unless you had a prejudice against all women? You don't have to agree. But I feel we've had similar conversations in the past.

Don't be so disgusting, This! Shocking.

That was to LittleChristmasMouse

Ereshkigal

Because you are removing choice. You have the right to choose to have a female hcp. I want the right to make my own choices.

Women's bodies aren't required to be inclusive environments. I'm all for more male HCPs, not least because as another poster has pointed out many men are left without the choice of a same sex carer. But I see no reason or need to attempt to increase the number of male midwives specifically.

YY.

maybe women on the whole should be more accepting of male midwives

No actually. Don't restrict women's choices! They are poor enough already, why would you want that, ad a woman I mean?

There are certain things that need to be sex exempted, and I think midwifery should be one. There is no absolute need for male MWs women have been doing the job for always.

There are however very good reasons for not having male MWs and stereotyping can be dealt with other ways,not through giving men access to women's bodies

Little are you talking about the NHS or do you go private? I've never experienced the extent of choice you claim to have when selecting 'the best possible midwife' on the NHS. You get whoever is on shift- if it's a male, then you can request a female. But not to the point of asking for someone by name who you've personally weighed up as the best.

Because you are removing choice. You have the right to choose to have a female hcp. I want the right to make my own choices.

It wouldn't be removing choice if no men at all were midwives due to it being considered respectful of women's privacy and dignity (a proportionate means of achieving a legitimate aim) to only allow women to apply, like a counsellor in a rape shelter. Unless you think all women are somehow inferior.

Hypothetically speaking. You are trying to perform the sleight of hand that wanting privacy and dignity in the way that many women who only want female HCPs do is like having a shopping list for what you want. It is not.

There is no basis to exclude on race, it is wholly irrelevant what colour skunso long as we could understand each other well enough, and on that point, I do find women have understood me far better than men.

Men will tell you themselves that they don't understand women!

Many don't, and they don't have a right to access women's bodies...errrgghh!

No way. I adored my midwives, they had a wonderful maternal “aura” to them, and the entire ward being filled with women was so comforting, very “us women helping other women with women-specific needs”.

There was a very brusque, big male nurse in neonatal who came in my room demanding expressed milk, only to be bollocked by my MW “you’re not coming in, this patient is not going to express, she is very ill!”

Lesbians and black women are always thrown in as some kind of 'gotcha' to women who express concern over men. It's disgusting.

Ereshkigal

But I would far rather have the male midwives described on here than the female midwives that I encountered so by banning all men you do remove my choice.

Actually, just remembering back to dd1, I had a male consultant using the ventouse and performing the episiostomy and helping to deliver my daughter safely. He was the person who needed to get her out and that is all that mattered to me. And dh.

You can request a different midwife if you want to. But what if this was "I don't want a black midwife"? There's no reason a man cannot be a midwife, and there are plenty of stories of women having awful experiences with female midwives.

this old racist argument again! it doesn't even make sense!

as a class women are oppressed by men. as a class black people are oppressed by white people.

female survivors of abuse request female nurses.

white racists request white nurses.

so you are comparing sexual assault survivors to racists.

What about a trans f2m who is pregnant? It has happened!! Surely as they identify as male then they may be more comfortable with a male midwife and so therefore by making midwifery exempt from males then they’re choice is removed?? Getting messy now...

Lesbians and black women are always thrown in as some kind of 'gotcha' to women who express concern over men. It's disgusting.

Indeed it is. We can never have a thread about women’s right to say No or to set boundaries around her body without the lesbophobia and racism raising its ugly ugly head. On a feminist board.