How to talk to DD about transgender cousin?

[Natsku]

After not seeing her dad's family for years, and not her cousins since she was a baby, we re-connected with them at her dad's funeral and I found out that the youngest of ex-SIL's grown children is now a transman. I didn't talk to DD (8yrs) about it at the time because obviously there were bigger things on our minds then but we're planning on getting together with ex-SIL and DD's cousins and I don't know how to explain to DD. I don't want to say anything that she might then repeat that will upset anyone but I also want to be honest with her.

@nauticant

I just did a quick google in Finnish out of interest because of your question and came across a survey done a year ago that says over 70% of Finns approve of children 'changing gender' and the school health questionnaire (which all school kids fill out at certain ages) shows that 5% of Finnish youth identify as transgender or non-binary or suchlike - five percent!!! That's a lot more than I would have expected

You know, I'm not that surprised. My friends were talking to me about their doubts in hushed tones and were worried they'd be overheard.

I've found Finland to have a consensus driven culture in some respects and I think that if an idea gets picked up, then people do seem to feel they ought to get on board. You of course might have a completely different view.

I'd be interested to know the breakdown of that 5% between trans boys and trans girls. And whether there's been a massive recent increase in numbers.

I'm surprised, I really thought it was more of a Helsinki bubble thing. I really don't see how people can mesh this with the public sauna culture -when school children go swimming with class they go to sauna, which changing room side are the transgender children going on?

More girls of course AssassinatedBeauty This is from 2015 so the disparity may have increased since then www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4396787/

five percent!!! That's a lot more than I would have expected

Maybe children in Finland and elsewhere are fed up with 1950s male and female stereotypes.

If that's what is going on then I'd support the "non binary" stance.

Tho' transitioning is obviously a completely wrong sledgehammer to crack that nut.

Hmm yeah maybe the way the questionnaire was worded captured gender non-conforming children too. I hope that's the case. I suppose it depends how the children understand gender roles and stereotypes. Yesterday DD asked me if I think she looks like a boy as she has short hair and dresses in blue a lot, I said no, the hair and clothes don't make her look like a boy, she still looks like a girl in the face etc. and she said she thinks so too, that she looks at people's faces to see if they're a boy or girl and only little children look at hair and clothes to tell the difference (helps that there's a boy in her class with beautiful long hair). I reckon other children have been saying she looks like a boy though for her to bring this up which makes me worry a little.

Natsku sorry for derail, but as the Finnish elections are tomorrow, have you looked at the Yle Political Compass? It asks what your views are about 30 issues including the translaw reform and then you can see what the candidates best matched to you think about it. I'm really happy with my choice of candidate now! I do agree that the translaw needs reform (starting point is very different than in the UK) but that there are totally different questions re children and adults and that's what my candidate thinks too. Actually all my top 3 disagree or strongly disagree with children having surgery, despite their parties support for the translaw, and I haven't even looked further down the list.