Lingerie and pretty things

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I don't like these things. I think they're silly and uncomfortable and frequently not practical. However, since around the age of 19/20 I will wear them. Particularly if it means I will ger laid.

So I am wearing these things because men like the look of them. I started dressing more traditionally feminine around that age because looking like a scruffy teenage boy wasn't getting me any.

I like men dressed in typically masculine clothing but I actually think I look nice dressed that way as well. And I am drawn to it more because I feel I can wear it less now.

Women didn't invent stupid women's clothing. We were told to wear it by men who invented stupid womens clothing.

If we are going to decide onw sex is naturally more fluffy and into lacy pink shite... why do we assume it's women and not the men women are trying to look nice for.

*disclaimer not everything a woman wears is to attract a man. BUT attracting a mate is a thing most human will try and do..

It's not uncommon for women as they age to dress in more comfortable clothing "sensible" we call it. Comfy shoes. Shorter haircuts. Traditionally what society sees as masculine.

I was watching the lovely Sue Perkins on BBC4 last night (travelling up the Mekong - very much worth a watch). Everything she wears could just was well be worn by a man, although she is unmistakably female. I think she looks great.

but she is a lesbian, so is that why she is comfortable with that look?

I am very gender conforming in the way I look. I'm not sure how much of it is because I like make up and bright colours (I do), or because dressing that way garners male approval. It's so hard to know if your choices are made freely isn't it?

I agree with questioning your choices - and what choice is ever truly free? However I also believe It's possible to love clothes and fashion while avoiding things that are uncomfortable, impractical or damaging to your health. I think some of the clothes at the Dior exhibition look amazing but it doesn't mean I'd want to wear them, any more than I'd want to take a Francis Bacon home to hang on my wall.

As for lingerie - it's been my thing but I would think that, if a man's got as far as seeing you in your underwear then they've probably already decided they want to have sex with you.

Sorry - it's never been my thing

As for lingerie - it's been my thing but I would think that, if a man's got as far as seeing you in your underwear then they've probably already decided they want to have sex with you.

Yeah. But less so after a decade of marriage when you're trying to convince dh on a Tuesday and he has to get up at 6.

Sounds like a Victoria Wood song!

yes, I think the point that if you are comfortable and not inconvenienced by the way you dress then it's a reasonable choice is good.

I've recently jettisoned high heels from my wardrobe. it was a good decision

I don't bother with any of that stuff.

When I was younger (and much more beautiful, in that unconscious way that young women are), I saw my lack of makeup, hairy armpits etc as a filtering system; any man put off by that was welcome to go. Better than getting to know him and finding out later how shallow he is.

I am now approaching 40, still can't walk in high heels, don't wear make up, and look very silly and self conscious when I try to do those things. I wear comfortable underwear that I still think looks nice but is not lingerie.

Also been stricken down with a bout of late onset lesbianism which may explain a think or two but never gone short of sex with men.

Let me not give any one the wrong impression.

It is all black M&S multipacks around here. I only bring out the nuclear stuff when absolutely necessary.

It was 19/20 that I started wearing dresses and skirts. Right now I don't think I actually own any. But I do buy my clothes from the "women's" section. So it's ladieee jeans. And a woman's top. Dh has never said anything but I'm an awful scruff at the best of times and if I just started wearing his clothes I think he'd be a bit disappointed. It's like leg hair etc. I'm 100% not doing it for me.

My point really was, men are the ones that like the frilly stuff. And I wonder why it is. Some men almost treat their partners like dolls and I wonder a bit if this their way of acting out the "feminine" stuff they aren't allowed.

men are the ones that like the frilly stuff

I'm not convinced that men as a group like typically feminine stuff. but I think that men as a group do like to see femininity performed. they are at the top of the gender hierarchy, so seeing gender being made concrete reinforces their position. Although I'm sure that's not how they think of it.

I got paid today and am planning to spend £25 on a lipstick at lunch time as a treat for myself, so it's possible that I'm not the most reliable witness on this!

I'm not convinced that men as a group like typically feminine stuff. but I think that men as a group do like to see femininity performed. they are at the top of the gender hierarchy, so seeing gender being made concrete reinforces their position. Although I'm sure that's not how they think of it.

I don't know. I see what you mean about the gender hierarchy but I think it's a bit more than that.

I think if we look back (and again it was men doing the designing) at different points in time and in different cultures men had a lot more scope for getting fancy.

The default day to day outfit for a man in most of the world is a suit. It's the most boring item of clothing you can have.

I know it's controversial. But I'm just saying maybe we can end all this by reintroducing the ruff.

I know it's controversial. But I'm just saying maybe we can end all this by reintroducing the ruff

I like it as a strategy

that's my placard for million women rise next year sorted

Let's not forget cod pieces. If men don't like dressing up, how do we explain the absurd outfits worn by the military, the clergy and the judiciary?

floisme
Spank me on the bottom with a Woman’s Weekly.
No really, don’t men, please. Even if I have got my greying, threadbare frilly pants on.

'Let me read my catalogue on vinyl flooring.'
Happy days.

If men don't like dressing up, how do we explain the absurd outfits worn by the military, the clergy and the judiciary?

I don't understand. What's unusual about these outfits?

I see your beefeaters and I raise you The Pope.

I think it's observably true that a massive proportion of men will take any opportunity to dress up.

The feminine look is a costume and brings with it infantilising mannerisms which for some fucking weird reason, men find attractive. It's a symbol of power and oppression.

Far be it for me to speak on behalf of men but I'm not sure that - as a group - they find it attractive. They have very different tastes, just as we do. But I think perhaps some men may view it as a sign that we've 'made an effort' and maybe they appreciate the thought, if not the actual execution.

Most of my clothes come from Go Outdoors, and the women's and men's clothes are identical except for size.
But, isn't it just that frilly lingerie = sex?
And that's why men are interested?
But there are no equivalent "sex clothes" for men.

I make dh wear this if he wants it

Gets me going

Don't tell me this does nothing for you.

But, isn't it just that frilly lingerie = sex?

Yeah but why does it equal that in the first place? Sex is far more likely to come from the person next to you wearing an old Star Wars shirt and some holey pants with the waistband falling out.