Lingerie and pretty things

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I don't like these things. I think they're silly and uncomfortable and frequently not practical. However, since around the age of 19/20 I will wear them. Particularly if it means I will ger laid.

So I am wearing these things because men like the look of them. I started dressing more traditionally feminine around that age because looking like a scruffy teenage boy wasn't getting me any.

I like men dressed in typically masculine clothing but I actually think I look nice dressed that way as well. And I am drawn to it more because I feel I can wear it less now.

Women didn't invent stupid women's clothing. We were told to wear it by men who invented stupid womens clothing.

If we are going to decide onw sex is naturally more fluffy and into lacy pink shite... why do we assume it's women and not the men women are trying to look nice for.

*disclaimer not everything a woman wears is to attract a man. BUT attracting a mate is a thing most human will try and do..

*although knowing the internet I'm sure that's a specific genre on youporn anyway.

Perhaps some men may view it as a sign that we've 'made an effort' and maybe they appreciate the thought, if not the actual execution.

I agree that there's certainly an aspect of that on an individual level but I think it's also deeper than that, particularly when we consider that fashion is still overwhelmingly dominated by men.

It reminds of the quote from John Berger about the male gaze in art which he criticises male Renaissance artists for in particular. "You painted a naked woman because you enjoyed looking at her, put a mirror in her hand and you called the painting “Vanity,” thus morally condemning the woman whose nakedness you had depicted for you own pleasure."

But there are no equivalent "sex clothes" for men. That don't look ridiculous

I corrected my post
Although what is and isn't ridiculous is surely down to association and conditioning, so maybe we could find those images sexy with enough effort.

Yeah but why does it equal that in the first place?

Presumably stemmed from showing a bit of ankle, to mini skirts, etc. i.e. showing a bit of your body progressed to drawing attention to it.
I dunno, quite interesting though.

But there are no equivalent "sex clothes" for men. That don't look ridiculous

yes, there's no cultural norm of men dressing for sex is there?

so maybe we could find those images sexy with enough effort.

It would take a LOT of effort on my part I got to say.

But there are no equivalent "sex clothes" for men. That don't look ridiculous
^
yes, there's no cultural norm of men dressing for sex is there?^

I suppose you could argue that some men's sports clothes; short shorts etc are sexualised, and of course there was 70's medallion man.

What I think is interesting is when the sexes dress each other. It's a cliche but men are more likely to pick slut wear for a woman, whereas a woman would be more likely to try to smarten their partner up in a suit.

There are more "sex clothes" for gay men though. So that suggests it's something about men, culturally or otherwise, that they like to see a "sexy" performance or look - maybe because it reinforces their feeling of importance, that they have been dressed up for.

But also when you shag someone their underwear does matter, for most women I think. While there's not a trussed-up-for-sex type of outfit like there is for women, there is a difference between ancient holey Y-fronts and nice fitted trunks or boxers and it does affect how you feel IMO.

I do like nice undies myself even though I'm not in a relationship or dating. But I mean nice on my terms - colours/designs that I like, rather than because they are sexy as such.

I like having a mixture of clothes. I wear skirts to work and leggins/ outdoor shop (eg RAB) trousers at home. I'm currently in to my dressmaking again and making a lovely (hopefully) silk chiffon jacket that is very feminine.
I think being female is good because we have more flexibility re clothes. I wonder if the trans thing would be as big if men were more comfortable wearing floaty stuff like they were in the new romantic 1980s era. My sexual stereotyping is probably ingrained enough that I'd laugh if my husband said he wanted me to make him a flowery chiffon jacket too though!

There are more "sex clothes" for gay men though. So that suggests it's something about men, culturally or otherwise, that they like to see a "sexy" performance or look - maybe because it reinforces their feeling of importance, that they have been dressed up for.

It's really interesting when you compare how gay people (stereotypically) dress for their partners vs how straight people dress for theirs.

My sexual stereotyping is probably ingrained enough that I'd laugh if my husband said he wanted me to make him a flowery chiffon jacket too though!

Dy picked up a long sleeved shirt covered in small flowers form the men's section the other day. He was joking but honestly, there was a whole section that looked like it was designed by Noel Edmonds. I could happily see the end to that and skinny jeans on everyone thank you very much.

I love beautiful lingerie. I’m a lesbian, so it’s definitely not for men.

I really love it when men wear flowery shirts or loud colourful suits - I like seeing anyone break out of boring restrictive ideas of what their clothes should be like.

I do really wish men could wear anything like women can, and I think that day will come.

(Well of course they already can, and some do but I mean I wish it was the norm for men.)

I love beautiful lingerie. I’m a lesbian, so it’s definitely not for men.

I am sure some people do like it for themselves, just not that everyone does.

I do really wish men could wear anything like women can, and I think that day will come.

I think it has but only with the caveat that you call yourself "trans" or non binary.

The best example I can think of for a man dressing up is poor Malvolio in Twelfth Night, trussing himself up in bright hose with crossed garters because he has been told that Lady Olivia finds it attractive. It is one of the most pitiful yet comic moments in Shakespeare.

I have a fairly feminine style anyway, but it did surprise me recently that an inexpensive M&S nightie with a bit of lace on (that didn’t even fit that well) got an instant reaction from a sophisticated man that other forms of overture had not been able to achieve ! Simple creatures, eh!

Yet why did I feel funny about putting it on?

Ties have always intrigued me. Plain suit, a mostly plain shirt then a beautiful piece of patterned silk around the neck...

Yet why did I feel funny about putting it on?

It feels a bit obvious, doesn't it? Like getting out a sign that says "Sex this way -> " But when it works it works

Ties have always intrigued me. Plain suit, a mostly plain shirt then a beautiful piece of patterned silk around the neck...

True. And you get quite over the top ones as well.

Actually why do none of the evophych people question that in the animal kingdom males are the fancy ones. Maybe men really are predisposed to a bit of frippery but they've told themselves they can't have it.

Just because you dont really like stuff traditionally thought of as feminine doesnt mean no one anywhere likes it and we are all just pretending!!
I'm about as typically feminine as you could get. I genuinely love things like lace and flowers etc etc these things make me very happy to look at.
I do not give a fuck what gets me laid or what men like.
I like to look at bright colours and interesting patterns and textures.

I guess I've never bought lingerie with the intention of it being sexy.... but I do always wear decorative lingerie... so brightly coloured or pastel coloured, lace detailed silk stuff..
But I wouldn't wear anything I found to be uncomfortable. I dont think decorative and uncomfortable are mutually exclusive.
Each to their own though. It makes me sad to look at things which are just designed to be practical. But I acknowledge that some people just want to be comfortable and dont find decorative stuff fun.
Thats fair enough. But I dont agree at all women just wear certain things to attract men.

My husband has terrible taste for example... if I were to ask him to pick me some clothing out I'd probably end up looking an absolute state... I dont really care what he thinks about what I wear tbh!!
Hes never complained... why would he when he knows full well it's none of his business what I wear!!

As for women getting more 'sensibly attired' as they age I think that's nonesense. My mothers nearly 70 and she looks nuts in a good way. Shes got two walk in wardrobes and plans outfits days in advance with meticulous detail. Think giant hats, 105 necklaces and neon capes.

I think men used to be much more attractive when all the feathered hats and riffs were about though so yes I'm on board for bringing that back!!

yes. I recently bought a nightie as I normally sleep naked but DS (4) has taken to getting into bed with us in the mornings and seems unavoidably fascinated by my nipples

to my great surprise DH saw it as a sexual overture. it's made of cotton and is navy blue....

Makes me think of "My Conviction" from the musical Hair

"I would just like to say that it is my conviction
That longer hair and other flamboyant affectations
Of appearance are nothing more
Than the male's emergence from his drab camoflage
Into the gaudy plumage
Which is the birthright of his sex
There is a peculiar notion that elegant plumage
And fine feathers are not proper for the male
When actually
That is the way things are
In most species"

I recently bought a nightie as I normally sleep naked but DS (4) has taken to getting into bed with us in the mornings and seems unavoidably fascinated by my nipples

It's a shocker that so many of us manage to conceive a second time when you think about it.

Oh and back to the evopsych we should be the ones who are 'more visual' sexually. Look how distracted we get by a bit of fine plumage.