‘More acceptance’ of S&M needed

[Imnobody4]

talkradio.co.uk/news/more-acceptance-needed-sm-activities-19032230392
My morning isn't starting well. Haven't heard the programme - not sure I could stand it.

I don't care for moral relativism.

But assault at this present time, and in particular as related to BDSM since Brown, is illegal.

the law is clear. (Ish) there’s a general move not to interfere in consensual activities, but in law, it’s illegal.

Which is to say, that the judiciary/cps/police/health professionals/whatever are moving towards acceptance by their reluctance to prosecute bdsm related cases, particularly in established relationships.

I would like to know, from the posters here, what more you think I should be doing?

I can’t stop being sexually dominant, it’s as much a part of me as being gay, straight or bi.

I’ve tried to not be dominant, I might as well try to turn the tide.

So, what more should I do that I’m not doing already?

what more should I do that I’m not doing already?

Get the blokes off their arses. Get the blokes condemning 'rough sex gone wrong'. Get the blokes to tell other blokes about consent.

Bankofenglandfiver
I am sorry that I have said the BDSM community should be doing more. I took this idea (that they weren't) from people on this thread instead of actually looking for factual information on what the community is doing. As I'm not part of any social community anymore, I don't know what is or isn't being done. Although the focus was more on what practitioners should be doing to stand up to abusers out with the accepted community, but in the name of BDSM.

I am already doing both of those things weriseup.

No one - NO ONE - is allowed to attend the event I run unless they’ve done my vetting / approval workshop.

I had a silly woman post that she wanted to meet up with Doms on a fetlife group I moderate. Because she was all giggly and silly and it was going to be a project for university. And wasn’t it going to be great and edgy.

She was a twat. what The fuck I’m supposed to do about silly twats who think it’s all about hemp rope in Aisle 7 of b&q?

I deleted her post and pm’d her my standard advice.

There ain’t no helping stupid. She met up with a dodgy Dom. Off another page because she posted multiple places. And she got met when she was meeting him and a woman accompanied her to the meet.

Nothing happened. It didn’t go further, as far as I’m aware. But I can’t go to every meet up with a dodgy Dom that’s happening. Women need to take a dose of common sense. If you wouldn’t do it in ordinary dating, don’t do it the fuck in BDSM. don’t meet up after chit chat online and immediately get naked and start with the kinky stuff. But it’s like talking to a wall with some subs.

They want a no limits Dom. And no matter how many times you tell them they don’t - some will not take a fucking telling.

Seek therapy, stop hitting people, stop larping as an abuser for your own gratification.

That's what I think you should do, but of course I'm under no delusions that you would consider that.

Why? Would you tell a lesbian to go and seek therapy, stop shagging women for their own gratification?

Not even 1/10th of the bdsm I practice is hitting.

It’s not all thump and batter.

Hang on. Being a woman loving other women is in no way comparable to getting off on unequal power and mock torture and slavery.

Probably not more than 1% or so of what I do involves hitting.

Who says I do mock torture and slavery?

I firmly believe being sexually dominant is as much a part of my nature as being straight, gay or bi.

And the power is only unequal on the surface - and a superficial level.

I'm curious to know what a (certified) therapist would say if I told them I'm in a happy, fully consenting, loving D/s relationship that only enhances my life, in which I feel safe and open and that there is a mutual understanding of respect and honesty and that it is not the re-enactment of previous trauma.

Basically there is no more conensus in BDSM community than any other group. Everything moves to extremes if there aren't controls or pushbacks which means morals as a form of social regulation.
First it starts with tolerance >acceptance> normalisation >aspiration> compulsory. I wouldn't like to say which stage we're at but it is quite likely that juries will come to regard the issue of consent as minor because it's no big deal anyway and why ruin a guys life cause of an accident, mistake. The fact that a judge can suggest a dead woman might have liked having a bottle shoved up her vagina is down to this normalisation. We should be starting with the assumption that no sane woman would.
From Wikipedia
Consensual non-consent, also called meta-consent and blanket consent, is a mutual agreement to be able to act as if consent has been waived. It is an agreement where comprehensive consent is given in advance, with the intent of it being irrevocable under most circumstances. This often occurs without foreknowledge of the exact actions planned.[4][5]

Consensual non-consent is considered a show of extreme trust and understanding. It is controversial within BDSM circles, even often frowned upon due to concerns about abuse and safety. It is mainly limited to those in Owner/property and 24/7 Master/slave relationships.

In recent years the term has also been used for the practice in play sessions. In the past, the term consensual non-consent was reserved to committed relationships, while the play practice used the umbrella term of edge play. This expanded scope is contentious and the subject of acrimonious debates.

I can’t stop being sexually dominant, it’s as much a part of me as being gay, straight or bi

Don't be so ridiculous.

It's not an orientation the same way being gay, straight or bi is.
It's a preference.

So unbelievably homophobic to say otherwise.

Gay people have fought to be given the same rights to love who they want as straight people, to be given the same rights to marry, keep jobs, be free from harassment.

Not to be given extra rights that mean they can do things that would be otherwise illegal but for some reason they get a free pass because it's sex.

I am not homophobic.

Consensual non-consent is not cinsent, in my opinion and I won’t and don’t associate with anyone who practises it.

*consent

Saying that being gay is a sexual preference in the same way as being into bdsm is homophobic.

I should have the same right to keep jobs, be free from harassment as anyone else. I should not be discriminated against as a result of my sexual orientation. At the moment, I don’t have equal rights.

I’m incredibly ethical in what I do - but it’s discrimination to tell me I’m not entitled to be dominant - I am dominant, I’ve always been dominant, since before I even knew what it was. It’s in me, I can’t change it.

You might as well try and turn the tide as try to make me not be dominant.

What on earth are you going on about??

How do you not have equal rights?

How are you not able to marry who you want or keep a job?
You have the same right to be free from harassment as anyone else.

No one is trying to stop you being a dominant, just saying that the law still applies to you.

No it’s not.

I totally embrace and support the rights of anyone to identify as gay, or straight or bi. Anyone is completely right to shag and be attracted to whomever they please. I don’t give two hoots what anyone else does. Carry on with all the sex with whomever you want, as long as they want to too.

But that also applies to me.

I never over step a boundary. I’ve never done fake torture and slavery. I’m just dominant.

And I put myself out there to make sure as much as I can that the vulnerable are protected as much as it is within my power to do.

Would you rather I stopped?