Help a brother out

[Glinner]

Hello, you coven of squints far right Nazi witches!

I'd like to collect some anecdotes about when and why you first became involved in the debate about gender ideology and activism. I've also asked on Twitter but thought this might be good for longer answers.

Please tell me your stories!

We're sorry that we upset you with this decision, though, Betty, we'd never want to do that. if this is true then why delete rather than edit? Disappointed in you MN, wonder what your sponsors would think about that deletion.

For me it was reading fwr while breastfeeding in the middle of night about the ridiculous denial of biological reality, the mantra twaw, the insistence we have to centre men when talking about women's bodies (chestfeeding ffs)

From then, the likes of J Brooks, K White, J Bradley, D Challenor and the endless parade of dodgy sexual predators who are insisting they are women. And the simultaneous insistence that "this never happens" the attempts to hide what's going on and weakening of safeguarding for children - e.g in the girl guides. The insistence of a tiny minority of grown men that their feelings are more important than the safety and feelings of my 8 year old daughter and all girls like her.

Oh - an addendum to my earlier post

Riley J Dennis' seminal video "Are your genital preferences transphobic?" - I watched it before I had ever heard of the cotton ceiling, but it still read all kinds of alarm bells for me (I think most women have heard versions of the underpinning theme to that video: "how do you know you won't like it unless you try it?" "Just give it a go and we can stop if you want" "You might even enjoy it once you get going")

And that's without taking into account the validation being sought by some transwomen of having access to women's bodies ("she's not a lesbian, she just needs a proper dicking")

And then for added frustration, the video is hosted by the goadily termed website "Everyday Feminism"

Graham, you absolute fucking legend. I've already posted on your twitter thread which is absolutely fan-bloody-tastic to read everyones stories.

So encouraging to see so many people posting about this, and esp how they used to believe the shit people say about you, but after looking into it, realise it's all lies.

The abuse you keep getting on Twitter is staggering, but you know you are always welcome here for a bit of sanity! This is where I escape to.

Give my regards to your good lady wife.

PS Always happy to see more pics of the dog and the log thing!! hahaha

Oh and to add. Cis, menstruators, chest feeders, pregnant people. TWAW. Women’s Toilets being made gender neutral but men’s remain the unchanged. Sexist stereotypes. Women being a feeling. Sports...

I did not read Betty's story before it was deleted but I did read the following FPFW story about a woman with cancer and the confusion caused by the NHS rephrasing women as "people with a cervix". Because all this ridiculous new-speak is one of the many, many things that make me angry. Cisgender. Assigned at birth. Bleeders. Menstruators. etc etc. It really is pandering to the power of the penis. Why, why, why? Why do they get to redefine everything?

Anyway, here's the FPFW cancer story: fairplayforwomen.com/cancer_research_drops_woman/

1. I didn't know it then but aged 5 I remember comforting a boy in the playground who was crying about the fact that other kids had told him he couldn't play in the home corner. I have no memory if it was staff too but I do remember him wishing so hard that he could be a girl. I gave him a kiss and told him not to be so silly as if he were a girl I couldn't do that (naive obvs)

2. I taught a boy over 10'years who in an SEN setting who loved all things stereotypically 'girly' though it mainly started with a desire for and love of long hair when very young. As he got older media items on trans women influenced him and he also became increasingly frustrated with 'rules' around clothes at school etc. It was handled marvellously by everyone; he had lots of freedom at home and eventually was helped by professionals to understand that he was gender non conforming, I think later gay and was also eventually diagnosed with autism.

The only problem then was that no body had the understanding to fully understand this and explain it and deal with it. I had gut feelings but now can apply the theory. I have also been aware of the damaging influence YouTube and social media can have on vulnerable children for 11 years now through my work.

3. when I had my first son I started to find the way people treated him as a boy and the stereotypical options around me very depressing. I felt boys clothes were dull, I noticed how people referred to him and attitudes of being tough etc rather than kind.

4. I couldn't understand the strength of feeling on mumsnet during the Spartacus stuff; I started lurking and asking questions a few years ago.

The BBC documentary No More Girls and Boys really spelt out to me how damaging stereotypes were to educational achievement, not to mention children being led to thinking they were in the wrong body.

I've gone on to read a lot, including articles written by transsexuals who also disagree with the transing of children and other articles explaining the inherent homophobia within this.

5. Maria McLachlan, GRA, women's rights, girl guides, sport, medicine, safeguarding, all women's shortlists, LM, challenors, online grooming. This was the last area that I become very aware of. That some trans people are aggressively attacking women, seeking to erase their six based rights. I learnt far more then about what it is to be an abuse survivor and how any man then has the potential to trigger distress.

The biggest issue for me is safeguarding.

I fully believe this is an area that needs to be looks at on schools, and on the SRE curriculum, at the moment there simply isn't enough correct and careful training and guidance available.

I am so angry waiting for someone with actual power to join the dots

*Over 10 years ago

The poster who used to me-rail every thread. Turn up, start spamming questions, refuse to answer anything in return, make any issue all about them, claim victimhood, berate.

Any women who's ever been in an abusive relationship will recognise that strategy. Took me a while to see it, used to be very Liberal twaw just let them be why won't you let them live!!! And one day I saw the pattern, and it wasn't a woman anymore, it was an abusive man in women's clothes.

Regarding point 2) I am very aware that dysphoria exists; this child was gender non conforming and I do wish there was more understanding of this generally in the media, among professionals, schools etc.

The pride protest for me too. At first I thought they were mad. Then I read about why, and the cotton ceiling and I got really angry.

*seeking to erase their sex based rights

Baby dozing in my arms and I can't see or type properly!

 MoseShrute

It never happens.

Must not get star struck and waffle on using black books quotes

Mine was a pretty small scale thing. I was at an event just over a year ago where I was chatting to a friend, and one of the children of one of her other friends came up. I’d not met any of these children before, and I mistakenly assumed it was the daughter not the son. Ok, my mistake, I made a judgment based on the long hair feminine features and clothing. I got a dirty look for misgendering what was clearly a boy. How dare I.

Six months later, guess who is now trans and must absolutely be referred to as a girl or else! The turnaround is what did it for me.

On a grander, more “WTF is society as a whole doing” scale (as opposed to just my local community which is known for its wokeness anyway) it was Comic Relief putting Lili Elbe on their Women Wednesday thing. FFS.

Ditto OlennasWimple's Riley story. Just jaw dropping.

For me it was Caitlin G winning woman of the year. I was mildly pissed off before then, but that made me realise that this was really a thing that was gathering pace in dangerous ways.

I have never been inside with it. Even in the olden days, when people talked about transsexuals and always with reference to genuine dysphoria sufferers who had had surgery, I thought that’s very sad that someone’s view of themselves could be so distorted but I never bought the born in the wrong body stuff and was always very clear that sex cannot be changed. Because it can’t.

Catching up on the thread.

betty I'm so sorry, I hadnt read about your mother before, I find your posts so lovely and insightful, also about your son. I'm shocked mnhq deleted this.

I co founded and ran, for years, a hobby specific LGB group, which had a number of fragile members with MH and other issues and gave a lot of community support in and out of hours amongst members. A trans person was warmly welcomed into the group and I and many other members spent hours and hours and hours supporting them with their many and multiple personal life issues. They had a huge amount of support from the group. They then began to push boundaries against a years long group rule about not sending off topic emails/advertising/spam using the group email, because they wanted to circulate what they called 'positive trans messaging' emails and memes to everyone several times a day. Members complained. I asked them to follow the rules. Within about an hour, the trans person had mobilised several of the older women in the group who were particularly nurturing of them, and I was bombarded with emails about my transphobia and (after ten years of providing this free group and running the community in my own time, plus the huge amounts of personal support) I was 'not a friend to LGBT people'. There was a lot of confused claiming about micro aggressions (asking trans people to follow rules?) The trans person basically wrecked the community for everyone in it for one account of hearing 'no'.

I then read a few threads on MN about trans issues thinking has anyone else had this - and discovered that yep, this was about standard, the many features of personality disordered thinking. Then I followed a link to T**fisaslur.com and Riley Dennis and discovered the cotton ceiling and peaked so hard I nearly concussed myself.

The person still regularly comes to me and my community for support, and continues, regularly, to both openly ask the male group assistant leaders in front of me rather than ask me about anything permission related, and has said to me 'HE said it was ok' - typical misogyny on crack that I've also discovered is deeply ingrained in the whole movement. Men are proper authority, women apparently aren't, even when they set up and run the fucking group. And the person still frequently hints and alludes to my 'transphobia' (that I once refused to give them their own way).

Meant to add: a number of our more vulnerable members were so upset by the person's behaviour and accusations that they left the group to escape it and thereby lost the support they'd depended on. The trans person does not care.
Two more elements not specific to this one person but to the ideology and TRA movement as a whole.

Many years ago I read a quote from the travel writer Jan Morris. It was about how, when Ms Morris couldn’t get airport staff to attend to her as a woman, she’d revert to her male voice, which got their attention.

Wow. That person is often held up as the "hard case" why women shouldn't have single sex spaces.

Similar typical feminist leftie as many others on this thread, came over to the board (after many years ignoring it in favour of conception/parenting/pedants corner/relationships/small pets...in that order ) after hearing about Anne Ruzylo, and then Speakers Corner, then Jenni Murray, then Pips Bunce, Girl guides, pussy hats, Cotton ceiling, women's sports....

You liked a tweet of mine the other day Glinner and I was all star struck!

Delurking here. A few things. An obviously AGP MtF using the ladies in the works toilet started me reading. He would spend ages in the cubicle, then try desperately to make chat and despite my being bolshie as hell made me really uncomfortable. Then I read about Danielle Moscato and fell down the rabbit hole.

I've finally put my head above the parapet on social media and am a bit horrified by how quickly I was piled onto. Also shocked to see some good, intelligent women (especially teachers) amongst my good friends who have totally drunk the kool aid.

During the GRA consultation I read an impassioned post here by a rape survivor which made me realise that this "progressive" movement, which on the surface is all about being inclusive towards men who identify as women, actually excludes a lot of women from women's spaces, and people who chant the feelgood TWAW mantra basically ignore the real lives of women in favour of men who perform "woman" a certain way.

And I'm royally fucked off about the language-policing