Unfortunately, I tend to end up with straight men, even though I am not a woman.

[FloralBuntingIsObnoxious]

For connoisseurs of magnificently pretentious navel gazing, this is pure gold. I have tears of mirth rolling down my cheeks at some of this, and it's utterly impossible to parody. I don't know how Titania does it, tbh.

My favourite part?

These responses have been edited for length and clarity.

You really can't tell.

www.teenvogue.com/story/what-dating-and-love-is-like-for-10-non-binary-people

(Oh, and I'm not going to be twee and put 'light hearted' in the thread title, because there is no way any rational person could take any of this seriously at all)

I had a look at the author's Twitter profile. She seems a little unhinged, to say the least. Rants about her burning hatred of white 'cishet' people but is in a relationship with a white man...?? Confusing.

Then I realised she's only 26, and seems like a pretty messed up, sad person with a lot of anger. Where does all the anger come from with transwomen? There is all this rage they direct at 'cis' women when it would be better directed at people who are actually in power. It's rich straight white men who are running this show and creating oppressive power structures but somehow it's us gender critical feminists who are the evil ones... I don't get it.

DearGod! That tweet! What a vile person. I honestly can't imagine why someone would write something so disgusting. What is she thinking?

The physician in me read this and it just screamed mental health disorder!

First, it is VERY appropriate you posted this and I politely disagree with ChakiraChakra. ROGD anyone? This was posted in Teen Vogue. TEEN Vogue. The attempt to normalize a very unhealthy attitude about relationships and dating is so obvious.

We cannot or should not look to others to validate ourselves. Psychiatrists and mental health professionals have noted extensively that extrinsic motivation and acceptance is not conducive to true happiness. Study after study demonstrates that people who find their self-worth and meaning by looking inward find great satisfaction and contentment in life. Here, the theme of validation from others was in almost every comment, (despite the admonition to be "true to yourself").

At its core, I believe the gender movement is based on individuals with deep identity disorders. They have latched on to gender as their target and focus, but at the heart of their complex situations is classic dysfunction in self-construction.

It's no wonder that most of these young people sound incredibly sad and with fairly grim outlooks on the future.

Oh God... just read the posts upthread. That Tweet is simply evil. Sometimes I almost want to believe in Hell. As a mother of two lost babies and best friend to a woman who had a stillborn, Serena Sonoma can just go fuck right off.

I’m totally confused, why are people who claim to be asexual dating in the first place? I thought asexual meant you were non-sexual, no sex, you had no interest.

I can quite understand this. I had, and have again, a very low libido and I was quite happy as a teen going out with boys and not having sex. I'm fine with no-sex (I just wrote a longer post on why somewhere else) and when I was a teenager I expected to fall in love and have relationships where there was no sex. I was waiting for "the one". So, no interest in necessarily sex doesn't mean no interest in love. You can have a huge crush on someone without wanting sex with them. I think over the past decades we have pushed sex into the forefront in relationships so it's hard to imagine anything else!

I got into a twitter convo with the author of this 'article' yesterday. They were claiming that being an infertile woman is exactly like being a Transwoman who can't give birth and also that Transwomen are biologically female so 🤷🏼‍♀️
Pushing a very dangerous ideology onto teenagers. They deserve to be called out.

What is ‘agender’ and ‘enby’?

That suggested texted about what do you think about the he gender spectrum is so vague. If someone asked me what I thought about lesbians I would think it an odd question and think they are a huge range of people who I don’t have an issue and I have some good lesbian friends but I don’t fancy shagging any of them.

And ‘aromantic’?

I think over the past decades we have pushed sex into the forefront in relationships so it's hard to imagine anything else!

No, this isn’t some kind of modern consumerist trend. Sex has always been a very important part of human mate formation.

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I don’t usually use non mn emojis but I think this is the only one that will work

Dear god in heaven!!

If this is our future, I don’t want to go forward.

No, this isn’t some kind of modern consumerist trend. Sex has always been a very important part of human mate formation.

But never as much as today in Western societies has it been so much a must-do. When I was coming of age we knew sex to be an important thing that you kept for that important person. You did not indulge. It is the overindulgence today that is mind-boggling.
Obviously my opinion, based on my own life experience. It's never been like this. Sex has always had it's place, but it's never been so in your face as in today's modern societies.

I've also live in a variety of different countries, different eras. There is an obsession with sex today in the UK and US that is beyond belief.

Lamaha - I agree with your post but it is making a very different point to the one made in the post I was responding to.

And that Serena deserves a slap around the face for that comment

How fucking dare they?!

Has anyone reported it to Twitter? I don’t have twitter so I can’t do it, but that needs removing.

I’ve never had a stillbirth, but I have had several miscarriages.

I’m furious.

Don’t know if the post has been reported to twitter, several people have tweeted about it (with screenshots), and Serena’s account is now protected so only followers can read it.

Laughing a bit, (though still sickened by that Tweet), every time I see the word "aromantic," I read it as "aromatic." Which makes me think these individuals either contain benzene rings or they smell. (Yeah, I'm an organic chemistry nerd.)

This seems to be the way with these young people ... incredibly self protective, unbelievably vile to others who disagree with them. They have a lot of hate. Hence the attraction to Corbyn. Actually Corbyn is almost the prototype for these kids. He’s quite comfortable with his followers dealing out incredible nastiness to those he disagrees with, but he is unbelievably thin skinned

That entire article could fill Private Eye's Pseud's Corner, no questions asked.

Good lord the naval gazing. I wonder if the real world is such a shit storm right now that worrying about pronouns is almost a relief - like this I can control.

The author however is loathsome.

Seems like the writer of this piece just made the whole thing up

No one actually thinks like this especially teens

As for that tweet so so offensive

If I had had the vocabulary and ideas some of these young people have, I might have described myself as 'non-binary' or 'asexual'. Instead I just identified as a feminist, pushing back against gender norms and patriarchal oppression on the basis of sex. Perhaps 'feminist' has become such a dirty word for millennials that now being 'queer' is the only valid option?

I started reading this article from elsewhere in the middle of the night and far to stop due to the cognitive dissonance. I feel this ^ is what I remember feeling, the word feminism wasn't overtly used by friends nor me but we/ I definitely had an unspoken code of standards for relationships which was, in hindsight, to do with being valued as a person, not playing into stereotypes etc.

I do wonder if the word feminist has become such a dirty word that this is the resulting word porridge.

I always found the less gender conforming lads more attractive and I know many felt the same about me. But it wasn't obsessively defined like this. We also knew we could snog girls and boys. We had our angst but just got on with it.

These young people are over thinking to the MAX.

It doesn't have to have 'lady penis' in it to illustrate some really sad attitudes to what women can expect from relationships

In what way sad? People have always had differing attitudes to sex and relationships. What I see in the article is a load of people saying communicate your needs and desires, and find somebody who will love and accept you in a way that feels good to you. That doesn't seem sad to me.

I think it's really interesting to wonder if it's true that there has been a huge increase in the number of young people wanting to identify as "other" - seeing as it's only been openly talked about and all these additional terms made fairly recently, it seems impossible to tell if there is an actual increase in the number of people feeling the way these people do, or if people are just talking about it more. Like others here I can speculate if any perceived increase is caused by some kind of disorder or illness, society's perception of women, or changing attitudes to what's considered normal and socially acceptable. But what I see is people who seem to know how they feel and what they want, and be living a lifestyle that doesn't seem to harm anybody.

Or maybe littlebrowndog has it right!

chakira I think it does though. I think it cuts them off from the rest of society that thinks it's all nonsense. I do understand what they're saying it's just it's a very restrictive way to live. Like a religion. It's fine if they find others that feel like this but I fear many kids would read this and take it too far, thus alienating them selves.

Smashing the patriarchy is both more fun and purposeful.

But what I see is people who seem to know how they feel and what they want, and be living a lifestyle that doesn't seem to harm anybody.

If they kept it to themselves that would be their issue. I don't agree that they know how they feel, I think having spoken to many that they are extremely confused. But again that's their issue. Where it is my issue is that these people don't believe in biological sex, and they don't think women need sex based rights. And are pushing to take them away.

Good lord the naval gazing. I wonder if the real world is such a shit storm right now that worrying about pronouns is almost a relief - like this I can control.

Yes I think so, to a greater or lesser extent. But what they can't control, and shouldn't expect to, is what other people do or think. But their ideology demands that.

'most of my experience has been in video games and writing.'

I totally respect this person saying their experience is not particularly based in the real world and I believe them.

But the idea of advice with no real world basis being given to the readers of Teen Vogue just seems to drive home for me how unrooted in lived experience this movement is.

I was so similar as a teen - eschewing gender roles and wanting somebody who did not stereotype me.
But I didn't see that as an identity. I saw it as a collection of behaviors and beliefs.

I would never have policed whether somebody saw me as female but of course when playing a video game you can.