women at Girton College Cambridge aren’t allowed 1 hour out of 83 hours to swim in a female only environment

[papayasareyum]

I’ve just read this. Apparently they wanted 1 measly hour for women to swim, without men.
1 hour. The rest of the time, the pool is available for men and women. This is Girton college, a women’s only college, Cambridge.
A www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6665283/Fury-posters-women-non-binary-gym-sessions-defaced-Cambridge-College.html
A man was outside protesting apparently.

What did the lifeguards say?

I didn't tell anyone about aggressive shouting man - I was too shocked, then embarrassed, he then got out and left. Hindsight is a wonderful thing but funnily enough I wasn't exactly prepared to be verbally abused when I went for a relaxing swim.

Well there were non about with creepy changing room man - there was one poolside when I got out but there wasnt any about in the changing room i assuming that there were busy closing up like theu usually do. Do you think i should have challenged a man who I perceived as a threat on my own with no witnesses about? I just wanted to get out of there.

I went to tell the lifeguards about leery group of men but as i got out i overhead someone else telling them and i left by the time the lifeguard went over to them.

Tbh the first two incidences were a couple of years ago, i wasnt feeling confident in myself (hence going swimming to help with that!) was embarrassed and didn't feel like I'd be believed or taken seriously. I've upped my game since but I'm not daft I'm not ever going to challenge a man directly whilst on my own in a secluded area.

Yes, of course some women have good reasons to be wary of men. But it is not rational for most women to be wary of men. Or helpful.

Lucydo do you think women in the habit of harassing men to the point where they need 'respite' from women?

I think the vast majority of men do not have a habit of harrassing women. It's silly to circumscribe your life because of a minority.

Nah, not timidity.

I pay a lot each month to access a really nice private pool in a five star London hotel. Since I swim for relaxation and can afford it I can choose nice surroundings and a practically empty pool. (And posh shower gel.) I can understand why others might consider women’s only sessions less stressful and more enjoyable.

It’s said that boys in primary schools take up about 80% of the playground space. I am sure many women will have suffered man spreading on places trains and tubes. And my experience is that men do the same in swim lanes. Asking for time and space for women is not pathetic.

(Or is it that women who don’t adhere to a feminist orthodoxy are pathetic. It’s as if this board changed over the past couple of weeks and posters are more focused on purism and excluding, than addressing women’s wants and concerns.)

But it is not rational for most women to be wary of men. Or helpful.

Go on then tell us how we can tell the rapists and abusers from the men who arent?

And it's not being wary of me, its being aware that some men are a threat.

men not me

I think the vast majority of men do not have a habit of harrassing women. It's silly to circumscribe your life because of a minority.

Whats the approximate statistics that women have been sexually abused in some form? One in four? Those 'minority' of men you talk if must be very busy.

so let's just treat all men as potential rapists?
FWIW, women can be incredibly annoying and lane-hogging to swim with. The ones who swim in parrallel, talking all the time, or just standing at the end of the pool, blocking your turning point.

lucydo Most people aren't burglars either. Your beliefs don't make any sense because they don't work in the real world.
The police don't agree with you.

''Police tell women to run in groups to avoid harassment''
www.runnersworld.com/uk/news/a26086303/police-jog-on-campaign/

give me the statistics then?

lucydo

Do tell us how to spot the predators because that way we will just know who is going to rape and assault us and then we can avoid them ......
(See how ridiculous that actually sounds ??)

Not all men are rapists, but all men have the capacity to rape, therefore basic safety teaches us- be wary of men, particularly be wary of men who are trying to cross our boundaries (ie following us at night, coming into women’s changing rooms, etc)

so let's just treat all men as potential rapists?

Still havent answered my question:
Go on then tell us how we can tell the rapists and abusers from the men who arent?

yes, because runners often go through isolated areas, like disused railways lines, with few people around, and often after work. So yes, that is sensible. But in a pool? With attendants?

Why? how many men do you need to be violent in any give group before you start to take precautions? What use are statistics? Go by the behaviour of the people in your space. You don't get to pick and choose all of them.

so, yes, because you can't distinguish rapists from other men, you think all men should be seen as potential rapists? Whereas I think I'd rather live a normal life.

Ok everybody, I've enjoyed the chat. But this is getting weird. I'll leave you all to your tin foil helmets. Toodleoo

Do you think soldiers with shell shock should get over themselves and go back to the frontline?

I think the vast majority of men do not have a habit of harrassing women. It's silly to circumscribe your life because of a minority

Mumsnet, Women's Aid and Surrey Police recent joint piece of work to raise awareness of coercive control.

'Walking on eggshells'
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hC1pCi-GwGU

"A new Mumsnet survey to mark the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence, run in partnership with Women’s Aid and Surrey Police, reveals that 38% of the survey respondents say they have been in a controlling or abusive relationship* with a partner – but almost a quarter (24%) of users who said they had been in a controlling or abusive relationship told no-one about any incidents of controlling or abusive behaviour"

thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3452784-Coercive-Control-a-need-for-better-awareness

Obviously women can be irritating as well. Its just that I tend to find them less irritating than men, at least at a gym. I swim fast, and when younger used to be bemused when men would try to overtake. I now find it irritating. Women are usually politer and more considerate.

But in a pool? With attendants?

You do know theres only one or two life guards to cover watching a pool, theres not enough for them to check the changing village.

Toodlepops lucydo.

Didnt think you'd stick around.

Oh that's a shame

Lucydo never did say why she thought it was reasonable of her to say hampstead mens ponds, a male only and gay friendly space, should be opened up to women.

Nor did she engage with the point that years ago I would have thougth of her, what she thinks of others. People have different lines in the sand, and different experiences and levels of empathy.

Oh well never mind.

To anyone reading who may have been upset by her assertions, you're not pathetic, and some posters can be utterly crass.

I went to (what I thought) was single sex swimming sessions. It was a deliberate decision after some significant surgery and chemotherapy for gyny cancer. I needed to start the recovery process both physical and self esteem / sense of self. I found it easier to conteplate being in a swimming costume and also vulnerable in female only space.
There are no doubt many reasons why the other women there had chosen to attend. Its rather arrogant and lacking in consideration and empathy to dismiss the importance of these.
It helped me to gradually build confidence and after a while I chose to go to other mixed swim, aqua-fit sessions which met my needs better as they changed.

I know a "non-binary" from a message board I am on. Very obviously male, very angry communist dude, always talking about killing and murder.