Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Suzanne Moore on the shame women are made to feel about their bodies and the effect on smear test attendance.

144 replies

HelenaDove · 27/01/2019 19:41

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/jan/27/shame-women-smear-tests-porn-feminism-bodies?CMP=twt_gu&__twitter_impression=true

OP posts:
Oxytocindeficient · 31/01/2019 20:21

Some of us have had bad experiences with HCP, I’ve had plenty and very few good ones. That doesn’t equate to ‘hate’ and that’s very dismissive of you to say that. We have valid reasons for not appreciating how they treat women. I’ve had many doctors and nurses be extremely disrespectful and totally thoughtless about my personal fears.

Theswaggyotter · 31/01/2019 20:44

It’s not dismissive oxy it’s upsetting to me to hear that. Its pretty rare to hear anything positive about hcps on mumsnet tbh, or in the media as a whole which can be pretty wearing when you put your heart and soul into doing a good job

Oxytocindeficient · 31/01/2019 20:49

I’m sure. It’s much like men hearing so many negative stories about the damage other men do. But that does not alter the fact that women experience a lot of trauma and unpleasantness because of the lack of respect of HCP’s. Yes #notallHCP’s but enough for it to be such a problem that many of us don’t even go to ours, or delay it. That’s not our fault and it’s not ‘hate’, it’s our stories and our lived experience.

Jenny17 · 31/01/2019 20:55

HCPs often dismiss any issues as the woman fault or psychological. Perhaps if they properly diagnose the issue there might be better outcomes for all.

TwitterLovesMAPs · 31/01/2019 21:05

I’m hiding this thread because it’s transphobic. Not all women have cervixes.

J/k!

TwitterLovesMAPs · 31/01/2019 21:11

To be serious though, I’ve never missed a smear. But as I get older, and having had my anatomy butchered by forceps birth after I had heroically tried to do the ‘no drugs just hypno birthing and whale song’ perfect natural birth, I get more and more pissed off at the invasive and undignified bullshit women are expected to put up with.

I almost feel now like, unless HCPs can guarantee all smears will be pain and discomfort- free for all women, they can fuck off with their speculums and weird rubbery toothbrush scraper things.

100% no man would ever put up with any of this shit.

aethelgifu · 31/01/2019 21:13

100% no man would ever put up with any of this shit.

Oh, definitely!

Oxytocindeficient · 31/01/2019 21:18

100% no man would ever put up with any of this shit.

Exactly. No fucking way

Theswaggyotter · 31/01/2019 21:43

It’s not the fault of hcps that the cervix is difficult to access!! And in case no one has noticed prostates are also difficult to get to and quite it’s undignified for men when being examined. Prostate biopsies even worse!

Melroses · 31/01/2019 22:30

I'm not feeling the sympathy there...…….

Original poster
HelenaDove · 31/01/2019 22:48

Re. the drink thing. Im teetotal and have never been drunk........ever.

But in our drinking culture i am automatically disbelieved.

OP posts:
HomeStar · 31/01/2019 23:11

I want to ask my doctor for a Xanax before I go for a smear test. I think it's a very reasonable thing to ask, it's not like I'm going to get addicted from one tablet and I think it should prevent a lot of potentially traumatic discomfort.

My doctor is usually reasonable, but I'm a bit worried that I'll get turned down on some kind of "if we do it for you, we have to do it for everyone" grounds - though really, why shouldn't they do it for everyone?

Has anyone tried this? Either the Xanax for a smear test part, or asking the doctor for it?

Original poster
HelenaDove · 31/01/2019 23:27

@HomeStar it sounds like a perfectly reasonable request to me.

OP posts:
Oxytocindeficient · 01/02/2019 07:49

I don’t think you can get Xanax in the UK but they’re pretty reluctant to give benzos here, I just wanted 2 for a trip as I get really bad panic attacks. He offered me anti depressants instead. What? No, I just wanted something for anxiety for one trip!

SonicVersusGynaephobia · 01/02/2019 08:40

It’s not the fault of hcps that the cervix is difficult to access!! And in case no one has noticed prostates are also difficult to get to and quite it’s undignified for men when being examined.

You're starting to display the attitude that some women here are talking about.

What is the process for examining a prostate? My Googling has told me it's nowhere near as undignified as lying legs akimbo on a bed, 1000W bulb shining at your fanjo for 5-10 minutes and spreading you open with a large plastic (if lucky) contraption and inserting the rubber brush.

However, maybe the NHS pages were lying about the prostate exam being a gloved finger into the bum, and it's actually a totally different procedure that's comparable?

Treefloof · 01/02/2019 12:09

It’s not the fault of hcps that the cervix is difficult to access!! And in case no one has noticed prostates are also difficult to get to and quite it’s undignified for men when being examined

My cervix also appears to be backwards facing. It's not the propping my bum up that offends me, it's the cavalier attitude, the oh this won't hurt, when actually yes it bloody does. For hours. It's the oh i am just popping out of the room cos I need a second opinion and leaving the bloody door open so everyone in the waiting room can see up my fanjo.
It's the bleeding afterwards, it's the letter 5 weeks later, badly worded, enough to frighten you into believing you have cancer, not that the hcp didn't get a large enough sample.
I am overdue a smear and without valium or something, I ain't going.

Treefloof · 01/02/2019 12:10

Ffs meant to add a whole lot of men don't go for a prostate exam, they must think it's too invasive or something

aethelgifu · 01/02/2019 12:27

I am overdue a smear and without valium or something, I ain't going.

And if you look at the other thread, you're not likely to get the valium for that.

Treefloof · 01/02/2019 14:36

Haven't seen the other thread yet, will hunt around soon, see if I can find it.

Weetabixandshreddies · 01/02/2019 14:42

However, maybe the NHS pages were lying about the prostate exam being a gloved finger into the bum, and it's actually a totally different procedure that's comparable?

No you are right. That is the initial exam. It can be very uncomfortable and many men are embarrassed about it.

It's also not very informative. The dr is feeling to see if the prostate is enlarged, smooth or lumpy but this isn't a diagnostic test. It's only a guide.

A biopsy is needed to accurately check for cancer and they are not pleasant.

MargueritaPink · 01/02/2019 14:47

Ffs meant to add a whole lot of men don't go for a prostate exam, they must think it's too invasive or something

There is no similar screening for prostate cancer.

WhatIsTheMeaningOfThis · 01/02/2019 14:57

I haven't been for a smear test for over 20 years and I don't ever intend on going to one again.

I was invited for my 3 year screening when my (now 20 year old son) was 15 months old. I couldn't attend because he had been rushed into A&E and spent 4 nights in hospital. When I explained this to the doctor's surgery they were so rude, dismissive and aggressive that I vowed to never go again.

If they can't even speak to me civilly, there is no way I am going to make myself vulernable for them. I wouldn't spread my legs for a man who spoke to me like that and I'll be damned if I'll do it for anyone else.

aethelgifu · 01/02/2019 15:41

testsnotread

For Treefloof nomorediazepamforallyoubenzheads

Melroses · 01/02/2019 16:00

There is no similar screening for prostate cancer

Yep, you will only get a prostate exam if there is something wrong and they are trying to find out what. They don't do it routinely to all men at 3 year intervals. I expect you can pay for one if you want it.

Theswaggyotter · 01/02/2019 16:10

So people on this thread think horrible hcps only do a smear to get extra money, and to humilitate the woman. And if it can’t be painless it shouldn’t be done?
Really?
How many cancer screening tests are 100% pain free and not embarrassing? Mammogram - pretty sore and for some people v embarassing
Bowel screening - stool test - fine. But if further examination needed it’s a camera up the bum. Excruciatingly embarrassing
Prostate -no screening test but lots of men need rectal exam plus sometimes biopsies which can cause amongst other things peeing blood and impotence
Stomach or oesophagus - no screening but invasive and very uncomfortable camera test - down throat
Ovarian and endometrial cancer - no screening but if need investigation could be internal ultrasound scan - certainly uncomfortable and embarassing

There is sometimes not an easy way to test for cancer but it’s important to do it, esp screening tests which can pick up cancer earlier and improve survival chances

There’s a lot of very negative stuff on here but the reason for doing smears (& mammograms) is not to hurt or humiliate you but to try to save your life. It’s worth remembering that, but if you chose not to be screened then that’s also a valid decision.
I have made other sensible suggestions which I’m sure will all be ignored so I’ll be off now (cue yet another name change such is the risk of being a GC HCP )