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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

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Original poster

At what age did you 'become at peace' with your body?

90 replies

RedToothBrush · 01/01/2019 23:24

Just that really.

Cos I'd say in my early 30s.

And before my face. I missed liking my face before it started to age and never appreciated it.

OP posts:

SarahCarer · 01/01/2019 23:31

I have always liked both my face and body, except when I have attempted to see myself through others' eyes.

FloralBunting · 01/01/2019 23:36

Getting into my 40s I think. Just that sense of settled comfort with the vehicle that has got me through all the decades and all the heartache and all the very physical trials, and is still holding me up and allowing me to participate in the world around me.

Like a lot of women, I used to have significant hang ups about certain bits of it, but now I'm just pretty thankful it's still functioning reasonably well, and I could not give a stuff about whether it fits into any particular standards of beauty.

I do get annoyed about the patches of dry skin on my face, but that's just because they hurt when it's cold and windy. Just this last month I stopped doing certain make up for 'events' because I realized that while it made me look an approximate version of a 20teens 'pretty' woman, I didn't actually look like me, and so I stopped and feel much better about the whole thing.

2rebecca · 01/01/2019 23:37

Probably mid 20s when I realised I was attractive enough to pull the blokes I fancied and most blokes aren't that fussy! At school I had multiple hang ups about my body and low self confidence but once I started being able to get the blokes I wanted (and being more realistic about which blokes I wanted and stopped going for the most popular boy in class who I had nothing in common with) I relaxed.
A very unfeminist reply for a feminist forum but I was very boy obsessed when younger.

WanderingTrolley1 · 01/01/2019 23:38

Turning 40.

Harebellmeadow · 01/01/2019 23:41

After having a baby and whilst breastfeeding. I was less “beautiful” than when thin and desirable and fanciable, but i started to love my body and the wonders granted to me.

NikiFree · 01/01/2019 23:43

Now late 30s.

But I lost 2 stone over the last couple of years and I am fitter, leaner and more active than I ever was in my early 30s and late 20s.

MargueritaPink · 01/01/2019 23:57

Always. I've never had hang ups about my face or body. The only possible time was when I was breastfeeding, which I loathed.

ReaganSomerset · 02/01/2019 00:00

This year, so late twenties. After my baby destroyed it, I realised there was no point stressing about bikini bodies anymore. I now wear one piece bathing suits with a skirt attachment instead. Sorted. I do keep my bmi within the normal range though.

Drogosnextwife · 02/01/2019 00:03

I'm 28 I'm still waiting. I tend not to care as much anymore except when I have to buy a dress for something, i just don't have a good shape for dresses.

AntiHop · 02/01/2019 00:03

Never really. Despite understanding the role in how the patriarchy affects how I feel about myself.

RoxanneMonke · 02/01/2019 00:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FWRLurker · 02/01/2019 00:07

Hmmm around 17 or so, headed to college. Before that I felt incredibly awkward and unattractive most of the time. Turns out I was rejected socially for being a nerdy kid who failed to gender conform... sadly I’d just thought There was something wrong with my body.

Also when I was pregnant and had a baby In my late 20s my confidence went up more. I think because I realized hey, those changes that made me feel horrible during puberty were actually FOR something. I mean I “knew” that before obviously but there’s a difference between knowing and really feeling something is true...

WrenNatsworthy · 02/01/2019 00:10

flossietoot · 02/01/2019 00:12

Still not!! Don’t hate it but definitely self conscious

AornisHades · 02/01/2019 00:13

It wasn't really until I had children and suddenly all of it had a purpose and wasn't an inconvenience . I feel far happier with my 40+ body than I ever did as a toned, fit teen. Objectively it doesn't look as good but I care a lot less what other people think!

BubonicTheHedgehag · 02/01/2019 00:18

52-ish. It was the second anniversary of the last day of my last period. I'd had two clear years without any periods.

I'd always really hated periods. Welcomed the menopause. For this reason, as well as other reasons, I now feel far more free than ever before to be myself, post-menopause.

JellySlice · 02/01/2019 00:25

Not really until my 50s.

It was a very slow process.

First, having children, and wanting to model healthy attitudes, I got myself into the habit of not displaying negative attitudes towards myself.

Then I developed a condition that left permanent changes to my face and appearance. Not major TBH, but it was my face and I had to cope. I've learned to love the face I've got.

Lastly I lost a lot of weight, 5 dress sizes, and truly accepted that my body is never going to match my internal self-image, but that, actually, it is beautiful, feminine and amazing, even if it does not conform to society's norms of feminine beauty.

I look at photos of myself 30y ago and I'm gorgeous! I could not see it then. Such a shame.

JellySlice · 02/01/2019 00:32

I don't want in any way to imply that the weightloss made me think I was beautiful. I've regained about 1.5 dress sizes but still feel beautiful. I can see where I have excess, but I don't hate it, and I'm not cross or disappointed. It just is. It was more that I spent a year and a half focused on my needs, and nobody suffered as a result.

(Such a bummer to be between sizes, though! One size, or two sizes, easy enough to buy clothes. But half a size? Argh!)

thoroclock · 02/01/2019 00:33

My late thirties, after I'd had my first child. It was a turning point for me in so many ways - I realised I was so self-obsessed before DC and afterwards those sort of things just weren't important, not on my radar at all. (Although I do still care about my appearance!)
But I think most of all having a daughter changed how I felt about myself physically - it made me determined never to talk down about my appearance in front of her or never let her see me look disappointed at myself in the mirror. (My Mum would do these things and it had a huge effect.) Practising that, together with not being so self-obsessed, has made me feel very at peace with my body. I'm also very thankful to be healthy.
I feel proud that I'm showing my DC how much I love my body. DS and DD cuddle up to my 'jelly belly' and we say how much we love it because it's so cuddly and so special because it was their home for 9 months! And I'm not lying when I say it!

RaininSummer · 02/01/2019 00:35

Probably now, in my mid 50s, as I know I am fighting a losing battle of the bulge but my body has served me well so far by being fit and healthy on the whole and seemingly attractive enough to others when I worried more about that.

Melanippe · 02/01/2019 00:36

Late 40s, and because I m starting to like this person, I am able to prioritise taking care of myself. So, I've been going to the gym, doing slimming world and being kind to myself. Decreased my body fat %, lost a stone so far and sometimes even believe the kind things I read about myself. It's a process.

What I do wish is that I could go back and give the teenage me, who starved and binged and purged because she was 'fat and ugly' a shake and tell her how svelte, powerful and beautiful she is and to stop listening to her mother, who will never love her, no matter if she does have a 24 inch waist.

grimupnorth1 · 02/01/2019 00:45

Just now, about to turn 25 and feel utterly at peace and in love with my body after years and years of torturing myself over it.

ALittleBitofVitriol · 02/01/2019 01:00

Early 30s
Birthing and breastfeeding my children helped a lot, I gained respect for what my body can do.
It came about more related to being at peace with my life, my marriage, my roles etc. I know I'm loved and valued, so I just don't really care about what randoms think about how I look.
I'm still fat and periodically annoyed by it, but I also really like feeling strong and capable.

pachyderm · 02/01/2019 01:01

40s. I love it like a battered trusty old car. We've been through a lot together, and have created human beings along the way. I'm grateful for the good health I've had all my life, and don't take it for granted any more. I want my daughter to feel the same way about her body and I never ever say anything negative about my appearance or any other woman's.

jessstan2 · 02/01/2019 01:34

Mid to late forties. I was really pleased with my body then and for a few years afterwards.

(All downhill now ;))

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