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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

At what age did you 'become at peace' with your body?

90 replies

RedToothBrush · 01/01/2019 23:24

Just that really.

Cos I'd say in my early 30s.

And before my face. I missed liking my face before it started to age and never appreciated it.

OP posts:
sizzledrizz · 02/01/2019 01:40

Early 20's, I remember feeling ok and realised that most women had decent bodies including me. But now is the most confident I've ever been because I don't compare myself with other women. And I personally find imperfection more attractive, so I like my own.

ISaySteadyOn · 02/01/2019 06:38

Not yet. I can't even look in mirrors. But I appreciate how well it grew and fed my lovely children.

Deliriumoftheendless · 02/01/2019 07:24

I doubt I ever will if I’m honest but I enjoy fitness and I can see I look a way that pleases me, although the picture in my head will always be something else, something I don’t like.

I suppose I am body confident because I’ve learned what I feel and why I am are different and I’ve reconciled myself to that. But I’m very critical of myself.

I’m 45.

Deliriumoftheendless · 02/01/2019 07:25

What I feel and what I am that should say.

ChristmassyContessaConSparkles · 02/01/2019 07:28

People become at peace with their bodies? I try not to look at mine tbh.....

Am just about to kick off my new year diet because I've realised that I am miserable when I feel fat; to me, thin = happy. I don't apply this rule to other people though.

feministfairy · 02/01/2019 08:21

In my 30s. Being pregnant and fascinated by the changes in my body and how it grew and birthed a child. Finally appreciating the connections between my mind and body.

faintlyridiculous · 02/01/2019 08:25

I still haven’t at 40. I understand a lot of the reasons why I am unhappy have nothing to do with my body at all, but I still don’t feel comfortable in it. I’ve been a variety of shapes/sizes/levels of fitness and have always loathed it. I try not to think about it much.

Valkarie · 02/01/2019 08:26

I was mid twenties. My friend finally got fed up of my moaning about small boobs so she snapped that I should get a boob job then. Made me realise that I was projecting society expectations on my body and didn't want bigger boobs at all. I love being able to run downstairs and be bra free now!

Several years later and much saggier I am still happy. My soft bits and stretch marks are down to creating my children, so worth it.

EvaHarknessRose · 02/01/2019 09:07

Don’t remember not being, but I did love how I looked mid thirties, post baby.

CoffeeMilkNoSugar · 02/01/2019 09:19

I was always at peace with my body, come to think of it, when I was fat and now when I'm slim. Not to say I always LIKED my body - I frankly couldn't stand being fat and incapacitated due to the fat prison I had built around my poor skeleton, but I always LOVED my body. Body literacy certainly helped.

I never really compared myself to the women I see in the media either - I just Knew that it is their job to look great and that photoshop is a thing, and that a VS model is simply not my benchmark.

I'm short and broad rather than tall and willowy, even a Dior dress would look stumpy on me. I simply don't have that 'elegant', swan like figure, but now my body type seems to be quite fashionable, so there. :D

feelingverylazytoday · 02/01/2019 09:23

About 3 months ago (age 58) when I realised I was no longer fat. Hated being overweight, especially when I was obese, love being fit and healthy.

GraceMarks · 02/01/2019 09:31

I am late 30s and have never felt at peace with my body, due to a long and painful history of an eating disorder, and despite being well aware of patriarchal bs about women's body shapes and looks. Even when I've been at a societally-approved weight and able to wear fashionable clothes, I loathed it. These days I feel really sad that I have wasted the best years of my life on hating my body when my peers spent the time dating, going out, meeting their life partners, and having families.

StuffingSandwich · 02/01/2019 09:47

I have always liked both my face and body, except when I have attempted to see myself through others' eyes.

This.

I'm mid 40s and not comfortable enough with my face or body to entertain a relationship now.

Just as well I'm happy on my own!

Clankboing · 02/01/2019 10:00

When I was in my early 30s and had had my baby daughter. Somebody further up the thread mentioned similar - I am not tall and willowy but small and sturdy. I knew that I could not ever be a different body shape but had always felt a bit disatisfied. One day when a few weeks old my daughter was lying on the changing unit as I changed her nappy. I suddenly realised that she looked just like a miniature version of me and I realised that she was absolutely beautiful.

formerbabe · 02/01/2019 10:05

I've always been at peace with it. Even when I'm overweight and want to lose weight, I'm still happy and confident. Even when overweight, I know I'm still pretty and look fairly nice. Not a stealth boast. I've never understood people crying over their looks or body image...if that's the worst problem in your life, consider yourself lucky

AfterSchoolWorry · 02/01/2019 10:06

I'm still not at peace with it now. Hitting 50. I have to accept it but I don't like it.

formerbabe · 02/01/2019 10:07

As for my last comment, please note I was not including people who have eating disorders.

welshgendercrit · 02/01/2019 15:58

In the mini-skirt era of the 60s I had a 24" waist, but very heavy legs which I was always self-conscious about. Once I was confident enough not to bother with fashion and wear skirts or trousers which flattered rather than exposed my legs I felt much better about my body and stopped worrying. The fact that I was lucky enough to marry a man who likes the way I look and never criticises it has helped a lot. Now at 72, with saggy flesh everywhere, a creaky knee and only one breast, I'm just glad to be basically fit and well enough to enjoy life and keep learning.

silentcrow · 02/01/2019 16:24

I don't think I've ever hated my body. I grew up swimming, which I think helped, but I appreciate that doesn't work for everyone (I imagine if I'd been competitive it could have done a number on me). For a long time it was just a vessel that carried my brain and I got very overweight before having my kids because I just didn't care what it looked like. I wish I had cared enough to do sports, because earlier intervention with physio might have straightened out various bits of me so that they wouldn't cause injury now. But it is what it is; I had an easy enough time of pregnancy and breastfeeding, and my body has responded very well to sport other than having to work around bits of me that are too tight/too flexible/twisted.

The curious thing is that I really struggle to lose weight (which I do need to do) by counting calories - even 24hrs can send me to a horrifyingly dark place where nothing matters but numbers and control. I don't hate my body at all but I still get that tunnel vision, disordered eating so quickly. I can't make sense of it. I stay out of weight loss threads because the mere mention of tracking apps or diet structures gives me the fear.

MissWilmottsGhost · 02/01/2019 16:39

I ended up in an accident which left a noticeable facial scar. Somehow it cancelled out other insecurities about my appearance, and even the scar didn't bother me much then. It bothers me more now (at 45) as it has faded and is mistaken for a deep wrinkle Hmm

MoltenLasagne · 02/01/2019 16:46

I had a pretty serious knee injury that required rehabilitation to be able to walk again in my mid twenties. I'd spent my teens with very disordered attitudes to food and a worryingly low BMI being convinced I was fat.

Somehow the work of pushing myself through exercises and regaining the ability to walk really transformed my outlook. Whenever I catch myself in the spiral of negative body image, I remember the months I thought I'd be limping forever and how my body is a fantastic tool for doing what I want.

stargirl1701 · 02/01/2019 16:52

Once I had children. My labour and birth with DD1 left me feeling incredibly powerful in such a unique female way. Up until that point my body was really just transport for my brain.

SarahCarer · 02/01/2019 17:07

I should add that I would conventionally be considered quite ugly and certainly came in for a lot of stick at school. Even my own kids noticed when they were too young to know not to comment. But that's just because symmetrical faces and slim bodies are fashionable currently. I find my look interesting, comfortable and familiar and as others have noted men aren't really that fussy so it wasn't an issue fin ding a husband I was deeply attracted to. I've been through lots of angst over nor fitting the bill with other women over the years but that isn't the same as disliking your own body.

MagicMix · 02/01/2019 17:12

I've always been fine with everything except a period in adolescence when I had acne, which I was very self conscious about, and was teased for being flat chested.

I think 12 to 18 were the awkward years, but I'm not sure we will ever stop teenagers in general being awkward, self conscious and self critical.

Winnie2019 · 02/01/2019 17:14

I was happy with my body until I had children.

I know that my body enabled me to have two beautiful children and I should be grateful but I can't come to terms with how it looks.

It makes me feel very shallow and vain but it's how I feel.