Normalisation of sexual fetishism

[QuietContraryMary]

Just reading this story about a man with infantilism abusing a child

www.dailypost.co.uk/news/north-wales-news/sick-abuser-nappy-fetish-jailed-15579002

There are NHS doctors such as Dr. Christina Richards (transgender, gender clinic psychologist) who have written books www.amazon.co.uk/Sexuality-Gender-Mental-Health-Professionals/dp/085702843X?tag=mumsnetforum-21 to say all such fetishes are perfectly healthy, not paraphilic or to be judged. Indeed the phrase 'kink shaming' is used against those who suggest that role-playing paedophilia or similar activities is harmful.

What do we think about the 'thou shalt not judge' culture of saying that all sexual behaviour is a matter for those practising it?

Independent Speptember 2018
'80,000 people in UK pose sex threat to children online, according to National Crime Agency
Child protection officers ‘shocked by the scale of the threat,’ says home secretary Sajid Javid

(extract)

"Home secretary Sajid Javid said he would make a “personal mission” to tackle child abuse and described his shock at the scale of the problem.

“It was when I visited the National Crime Agency’s Child Exploitation Online Protection Command that the full horror of the scale and evolving nature of child sexual abuse was really brought home to me,” Mr Javid is expected to say in a speech on Monday.

“One officer I met, who had previously worked in counter-terrorism for over 20 years, told me how in all his years of working he’s never been so shocked by the scale of the threat or the determination of the offenders as he is in his current job.”

The Home Office warned that live-streaming of abuse is a growing problem due to faster internet speeds, smartphone technology and the ease of money transfers across borders.

Images are getting more graphic, with abuse of babies and children under 10 more regularly documented, according to Mr Javid’s department.

Separate figures indicate that police in England and Wales recorded around 23 online child sexual offences every day in 2017-18 – up from 15 a day in the previous 12 months.

The scale of the trend has prompted calls for internet giants to do more to stop the spread of sexual abuse images and videos.

National policing lead for child protection Simon Bailey has urged internet companies to acknowledge their “social responsibility”. (continues)
www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/uk-online-sex-threat-80000-people-children-national-crime-agency-a8519606.html

I didn’t say you weren’t upset. Anybody reading this thread can see what I wrote. Fuck off with your accusations.

"All I’m seeing is people going into rants about how anyone “who enjoys BDSM is mentally ill” and calling me a gaslighter and all kinds of other personal abuse and saying I’m wrong for claiming to be upset!"

When things seem to be one thing it can be worth re-reading.

if you have a kink, it should be more likely you are a paedophile

raven I told you I retract that statement, for one because it is circular. it says 'if you have a paraphilia you have a paraphilia'. And: My link does show siginificant associations between different paraphilia, but not between paedophilia and another paraphilia. I remember it discussed in the Challenor case, but did not see the paper then, and cannot find a paper on the fly.

How often do I have to repeat myself?

I’ve never reported a post before but ravenlover has crossed the fucking line with their baseless accusations.

Calling it a fetish and comparing it to consensual adult fetishes is very dangerous according to most experts.

"More serious sexual problems include paraphilias and other sexual thought patterns and behaviours that may cause significant distress to the individual and/or other people. A paraphilia refers to a condition in which there are sexual interests that are more unusual. Some paraphilic behaviours such as fetishism or transvestism may be considered by many as part of the full range of normal human sexual behaviour if they occur between consensual adults. However, some paraphilias, such as voyeurism, exhibitionism and paedophilia are illegal as they cause hurt, distress, fear, or shame in others."
tavistockandportman.nhs.uk/care-and-treatment/conditions/sexual-problems/

So there is a whole range, some legal, some illegal. Some more harmful some less harmful.

Consent (assuming the person consenting is of sound mind etc) is what makes the difference. This is why while paedophilia and spanking may both be forms of "more unusual" sexual behaviour they are not the same things at all.

What is concerning is the way, as others have said, that the Overton window has shifted so far that a judge believes that rough sex can accidentally cause death

Ravenlover, please start a new thread if you want to keep on talking about you and your personal experiences and your thesis and your fetishes. This thread is NOT about you and the people on this thread are NOT discussing you.

I hate to be the thread police, but I would suggest that the obviously distressed poster leaves and hides this thread, while others continue discussion along the lines of the OP. It's a really interesting and important discussion and it'd be a shame if MNHQ deleted it.

Aspie how on earth was I supposed to know you had Aspergers???

It’s in my fucking name.

I don't understand this thread - everyone seems to be arguing from the same side

Anyway...

I'm happy to kink-shame if that means saying that young people shouldn't experience anal sex early on in their sex life, that choking is not a normal sexual activity, and that wearing items of clothing linked to young children (like nappies) is not mainstream and may be harmful.

I rather long for the days when "kinky sex" was blindfolding your partner or trying out the 5 star difficulty rated Position of the Fortnight in More magazine

And continue my earlier post...

I think the issue is that some paraphilias are mostly considered unacceptable (paedophilia) whilst others are mostly considersed acceptable (feet). Where to draw the line between acceptable and unacceptable is difficult and subjective.

At the moment the line is being drawn further and further towards the unacceptable end. This means that extreme paraphilias are being normalised such as choking, and "out" paedophiles on social media. As these become normalised the Overton window shifts again.

raven I’m a CSA survivor too, and you really have read this thread all arse about elbow.

If this is a topic that is too upsetting for you to read about without misreading posts and becoming offended by people politely pointing out that you have misread, then you should probably take a step back from the discussion.
Take care of yourself

Aspie how on earth was I supposed to know you had Aspergers

Raven - because it’s right there in Aspie’s username!

I sincerely hope you find support and peace as you’ve clearly been through fucktons and thankfully survived, but this thread isn’t a great place for you right now, you seem to be in a place that is affecting your reading comprehension skills (as seen in the above quote).

Please start a completely new thread or come back and talk to us another day? Should you wish to share, I suspect your lived experience will be a valuable contribution.