Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Would you still cut your long hair short if your Husband/partner said NO!

115 replies

Londonhilary · 20/12/2018 15:17

I would just like some opinions from other Mners, I am married to a loving husband who is a great dad and I am really happy in our relationship. I have long highlighted sandy blonde hair which I now wear pulled back most of the time so its easy and out of the way, I have my colour done every 3 months ish and the ends trimmed. I am 29 and havn''t ever really changed my look but with 2 DD's and full time work I dont have much time. Last week my stylist who is my cousin and I have known all my life came round to do my hair and she suggested that for New Year why don't I do something radical with my hair as she feels I do nothing with it anymore. She feels as I am small and petite I should be brave and chop the lot off like Michelle Williams and bleach it white blonde.
Michelle
She says it will be a fresh new look and short pixie hair is quite in, think Katie Perry and she feels it would be funky sassy and vibrant rather than just tied back. I quite like the idea as I think I will suit it and a radical new look sounds fun rather than just carrying on the same, so I mentioned it to DH, I was rather taken aback, he was so against it, he was quite nasty and said amongst other things that he didn't want his wife to look like a middle aged mum, which that style is certainly not. I was so upset and to be fair he did apologise but he still said things that upset me but did not say that I should do what I feel is best with my hair.
The question is should I go ahead and cut my hair short or just forget it and stay as I am now......what do you suggest?

OP posts:

MagicMix · 20/12/2018 21:16

Do what you like, not what your husband likes or what your hairdresser likes.

It's hair, it will grow back again if you don't like it.

But for what it's worth, your husband sounds like he has a terrible attitude and has been very rude to you. Hopefully an apology will be forthcoming, you are not his doll to style to his taste.

DioVelazquez · 20/12/2018 21:18

I had to take the poor man aside for a moment to explain that - unintended as it might (and would) have been - any bloke would look rather like a neo-nazi

I don't think shaved heads are particularly associated with neo-nazism these days tbh. Maybe 30 years ago. In fact, I'm kind of astounded that you would pull your BOSS aside to tell him that people might think he's a fascist because he shaved his head 😱 Nuts

rabbitfoodadvocate · 20/12/2018 21:26

I'm lucky. My DH loves my hair super short. It's long right now but I'm thinking about the chop again.

It's very liberating and I think everyone should have at least one radical hair chop in their lives!

PrincessDando · 20/12/2018 21:31

I would get it cut short - probably extra short as a protest vote.
How dare he tell you how you can have your hair.

Definitely get it cut how you want it done, if only to show him who's boss.

Singletomingle · 20/12/2018 21:41

Its your hair do what you like as long as when your husband decides to shave his head or grow a beard you dont complain.

AcrossthePond55 · 20/12/2018 22:57

In 30 years of marriage it has never occurred to me to 'consult' my DH regarding my hair nor would I expect him to consult me about his. I don't consult him about my clothing choices, either.

Over that 30 years I've gone from bum-length curly black hair to (now) a chin length straight blonde-ish bob and everything in-between. Never has DH said anything other than "You did X to your hair, looks nice". He's gone from long hair to short hair and every iteration of facial hair. He even tried dying when he first started going grey. Did I have preferences? Sure, but it's his face and his hair.

Lettera · 20/12/2018 22:59

Blimey.

Is your P having a relationship with you or your hair?

I'd be gobsmacked if my partner said he didn't want me to have a particular hair style (or to wear particular clothes, or look a particular way). It's up to me how I look! And I wouldn't dream of telling him how to dress or style his hair or whether to have a beard, etc. We're autonomous adults, ffs!

BlackeyedGruesome · 20/12/2018 23:05

he is allowed to express an opinion, I prefer it... (I did to ex, he ignored it as he liked it different, his choice, as it is his body.) (and no I did not strop or sulk or try to get him to change his mind) and often say it is his hair and as long as he likes it it is ok.

making you feel bad for contemplating it, or changing it or calling you names sound like coercive behaviour.

CaptainWarbeck · 20/12/2018 23:12

Other side - I love long hair on men. DH has short hair and despite me saying I like long hair and suggesting he tries it he keeps it short. He has no interest in growing it. He looks gorgeous with short hair and whatever he decides to do with it is fine by me.

Your DH can express a preference but who is he to bully you into doing what he wants with your hair?

Smallhorse · 20/12/2018 23:31

My dh has for the last year sported a thick goatee and a shaved head.
I loathe it
He knows this
It has seriously affected our relationship.

Something to consider

GlitterStick · 20/12/2018 23:34

Not read all the replies, just the OP. It's your hair, your choice. He doesn't get to say or guilt trip you into what you do with it!!
Do it for you, not him.
Does he consult you with every trim/head shave/ beard growth or whatever?

welshgendercrit · 20/12/2018 23:34

Since the time I was old enough (back in the 50s) to get my plaits cut off I've had short hair. I tried twice to grow it, as I like long hair on other people, but mine is very thick and coarse with a tendency to go frizzy and looks a mess once it gets anywhere near my shoulders. Well-cut short hair can be very flattering and if you fancy a change I would say go for it. It's your hair and it isn't as though you'd be stuck with short hair for ever if you find you prefer it long after all.

If it helps, when I first met DH back in the mid-60s it was in one of my messy, trying-to-grow-my-hair, periods and I don't think I made much impression. Our paths crossed again a few months later, after I'd had my hair cut short, and he asked me out that very evening. Six months later we were married! Not all men prefer long hair...

GlitterStick · 20/12/2018 23:36

Not getting how a haircut or beard can "seriously affect a relationship."
I couldn't stand it when my dh decided to shave his head and grow a goatee, looked beyond hideous.
If it affects your relationship though, it's still them inside. Must be more going on to have that reaction of seriously affecting relationship.

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 21/12/2018 07:43

Dh shaved his goatee off when he heard someone (i think it was terry pratchet) referring to it is as 'a pubic chin'

He does have a beard now and he is very pleased with it

AngryAttackKittens · 21/12/2018 10:11

Yep. In the scenario you're describing I'd probably do it just to make a point.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5