Can someone explain what "genderqueer" means?

[beenandgoneandbackagain]

I'm struggling to understand what people mean when they say they identify as "genderqueer".

Just about everything else I can think of in the various debates/discussions in the FWR board can be viewed objectively. e.g. a male who presents in a certain way, I can see how they are presenting, and accept that they may identify in a certain way.

We can subjectively see when something is sexually simulating / attractive to another person, e.g. their sexuality or what turns them on, e.g. BDSM or preferred "kink" or whatever they call it these days.

We can see "gender" in the way things are viewed as male/female by wider society, e.g. lipstick is seen as a female thing, football as a (mostly) male thing. I am in no way saying I agree with "gender" but I "get" what people mean when they use it.

But "queer"? I'm really struggling with that one, especially when combined with the word queer and used by a woman in a heterosexual relationship with a beardy-male. What subjective things are there to help me understand what the term means?

I know this isn't exactly the right board, but it's where the experts of mumsnet are.

sleepy

Just got my Sandy Draws Badly 2019 calendar.
May
Homosexual: Same sex attraction
Heterosexual: opposite sex attraction
Bisexual: Attraction to either sex
Pansexual: Attraction to practical non-stick kitchenwares
Aromatic Pansexual: Attraction to a spice filled karahi.

Genderqueer = Immature heterosexual person who wants to be more specialler than the boring old grownups.

It sounds like a way for a straight person to colonize Gay/Bi/Lesbian spaces?

I think genderqueer means posh kids appropriating structural oppression because it was the only thing their parents couldn't buy them.

It's deciding that they are not credible enough to listen to unless they've got some oppression going on. So they fake it.

I think we need to get back to being a society that values stoicism and "not making a fuss". This oppression olympics I must be more special than everyone else stuff isn't good for us. Who you sleep with or exactly how feminine you are on a sliding scale on any given day really isn't that exciting to other people.

I think genderqueer means posh kids appropriating structural oppression because it was the only thing their parents couldn't buy them.

This! It's basically straight, white, middle class kids who achingly want to be special and dislike having to justify themselves or their opinions. Molly, Adam and chums from the Green Party, basically.

Ah yes, the discovery of sex in 1963 which was the start of the decline in gooseberry consumption.

Usually hetro but wants a special label
Often has blue or pink hair

A bit loud and flamboyant
Needy
Demands attention then shrieks when they get it

Gender queer, or as it’s also known, attention seeking spoilt brat, is characterised by a perceived missing out on being special.

Imagine, walking down the street and you see someone giving a homeless person a cup of coffee and a sandwich. Well Gender queer thinks, why aren’t they giving me a coffee and a sandwich as well? That’s not fair.

Now imagine, you’re walking down the street and the disabled woman on the other side of the road falls over and drops her shopping, and a friendly young man helps her up and carries her shopping to the bus. Gender queer thinks, my shopping is heavy too. Why isn’t nice young man helping me? Why doesn’t anybody notice my pain?

Gender queer is the person with a right face on because everybody is giving attention to the black guy on the other side of the table who is telling the group about that vicious racial slur he got called in Tesco car park.

Gender queer = awwwwww, I want that.

Yeah, I gotta say when you think about it, it's fairly meaningless. It does seem to be a way of some people claiming specialness without changing anything about themselves except their pronouns.

Genderqueer - someone who is disappointed in their own banality.

Gender queer is the person who sees somebody being decent and helpful to the disabled person who’s just struggled on two buses and a half mile walk to get here, but only sees the being nice bit, so assumes they must be oppressed because they had to fetch their own coffee.

People who always bring the conversation back to themselves?

I’ve just been mugged! It was awful and I’m still shaking with...
Well that’s nothing - just now a man didn’t hold the door open for me and the trauma, the trauma!

My mum just died and I’m feeling really...
Well that’s nothing - my poor cat died (when I was six) and the grief, the grief!

The doctor says I’ve got breast cancer - so I have to have an operation next week to see if they can stop...
Well that’s nothing - the NHS actually put transwomenon a waiting list - a waiting list - for breast surgery. Why are you being seen next week - the travesty, the travesty!

Thank-you for that Badstyley, my thoughts exactly.

Whilst GenderQueer (or any of the other stupid descriptors) have the whole country running about appeasing them, the real losers are those that do need support and assistance.

I'm jealous of the genderqueer/NBs as they obviously have access to THE LIST. I don't think the only one I've seen was legit as it had some strange stuff about Northern women on it.

How do I know if I'm doing my gender right? Or is that sex?

They sound a bit - well like immature arseholes really.

I'm not at all convinced this has helped the OP.

🤣🤣

Lol Fekko I think my mum is gender queer. She’ll Be delighted when I tell her.

Me, ‘I’ve lost all the sight in my left eye now, and that was my good eye. Now I have to use a white stick to get around.’
My mother, ‘oh it’s like when the optition told me I needed to start wearing my glasses for driving.’

She’s a card my mother, a somewhat self absorbed card. Thank you for telling me what’s up with her. I’d just been assuming it’s because she’s a bit of a narc, but now I know.

Do please film her reaction when you tell her.

Badstyley

I'd think you were my sister if it weren't for the fact that my mother is dead.

Also, I haven't got a sister.

I think genderqueer means posh kids appropriating structural oppression because it was the only thing their parents couldn't buy them.

This is brilliant! Spot on!

I'd get banned.