Can someone explain what "genderqueer" means?

[beenandgoneandbackagain]

I'm struggling to understand what people mean when they say they identify as "genderqueer".

Just about everything else I can think of in the various debates/discussions in the FWR board can be viewed objectively. e.g. a male who presents in a certain way, I can see how they are presenting, and accept that they may identify in a certain way.

We can subjectively see when something is sexually simulating / attractive to another person, e.g. their sexuality or what turns them on, e.g. BDSM or preferred "kink" or whatever they call it these days.

We can see "gender" in the way things are viewed as male/female by wider society, e.g. lipstick is seen as a female thing, football as a (mostly) male thing. I am in no way saying I agree with "gender" but I "get" what people mean when they use it.

But "queer"? I'm really struggling with that one, especially when combined with the word queer and used by a woman in a heterosexual relationship with a beardy-male. What subjective things are there to help me understand what the term means?

I know this isn't exactly the right board, but it's where the experts of mumsnet are.

It’s another way of saying “I have blue hair”

The person using it didn't have blue hair last time I checked but I understand where that comes from.

On a related note what do the IA+ stand for in LGBTQIA+ ??

** Here's the definition:
a person who does not subscribe to conventional gender distinctions but identifies with neither, both, or a combination of male and female genders.

So... someone who hasn't yet^ realised that they should ditch the 'identifies' with nonsense, and be gender critical and as gender nonconforming as they wish and that there is nothing remotely special about this.^

LGBTQIA+

Allegedly: lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, asexual, aromantic, agender, and intersex individuals, with a “+” for those who are in the process of self discovery,

That’s about 99.9% of the world population then.

Swift answer thanks shouldn’t the + be a ? or a 🔎 then

Someone who’s too cool for school.

We x-posted so I'll happily leave it to Errol to cope with genderqueer apart from dropping in this:

theconversation.com/explainer-what-is-genderqueer-48596

I read aromantic as aromatic and thought there was a whole other thing in the world that I wasn't aware of, olfactory sexuality. (It probably is a thing, not googling it, not going there)

Thank you arran - so genderqueer just means a normal person then, but not wanting to be a normal person? If it's someone who is a bit of all "genders" so a lipstick wearing woman wielding a screwdriver . . . .

It's not an actual "thing" then is it? It's just a meaningless word which adds little to the discusion if it's so indefinable.

How does Miley Cyrus defy gender boundaries? I didn't think she was trans and she always looks like a woman with make up etc? The orange is the new black woman pictured just looks like a woman with a smart short hair cut.
It does seem as though all this genderfluid/ queer stuff is just a way of saying "I have a personality that has some masculine and some feminine personality traits in it" ie "I am normal". Are they all just desperate to go to the LGBTQIetc parties?

Aren't we supposed to have dropped the "I" after the intersex people grew tired of being used as a "gotcha" football in the appropriation of women's rights by men. I respect their wishes and don't use the "I" in the alphabetsoup.

Mostly seems to mean "person who wears slightly gender non-conforming clothes, in that they don't literally look like Barbie/Action Man, and who for some reason thinks this means they're a brave iconoclast who's too unique to be described as a mere man or woman" in my experience.

so genderqueer just means a normal person then, but not wanting to be a normal person? If it's someone who is a bit of all "genders" so a lipstick wearing woman wielding a screwdriver . . . .

Pretty much. It means "I'm actually just really ordinary but I'd rather like to be interesting. Only I'm not."

I think genderqueer means posh kids appropriating structural oppression because it was the only thing their parents couldn't buy them.

I have recently been told that I am trans because I don't identify with female stereotypes and some of my interests are typically male.

I was welcomed to sit at the 'trans table'.

I pointed out that if I were genuinely considered 'trans' then it made a mockery of the whole thing!

The person I was talking to said that they were a non-binary female and they were luckier than transwomen because they 'pass'.

I asked what, if they are biologically female and people perceive them as such, they are 'passing' as. They were unable to tell me but it was very important that I understood, and accepted, that they were 'trans'.

Whole thing is a fucking joke!

I read aromantic as aromatic and thought there was a whole other thing in the world that I wasn't aware of, olfactory sexuality. (It probably is a thing, not googling it, not going there)

You could well be onto something there...

I have 'sensory issues' and smell is a HUGE part of sexual attraction for me - I have been sexually attracted to someone, or not, purely based on their natural scent.

Ooh, maybe I can chuck myself in the trans bucket after all!!

Q; Who is genderqueer?
A: Seemingly, just about everyone.

Q: How come only a small subset of people are saying they're genderqueer?
A: Quite.

I think genderqueer means posh kids appropriating structural oppression because it was the only thing their parents couldn't buy them.

This^

I don’t conform with around 50-60% of the assumptions people have made about me over my life based on my sex, although, I do “present” as a woman and have no problem wearing make up or women’s clothes. What would be really handy would be if someone could produce a guide or a sliding scale or a graph so that everyone can plot where they are and know instantly what “identity” they have. I did do a buzzfeed questionnaire for a laugh one day and apparently I’m cis-male, but for some reason that just doesn’t seem to fit with my life as a heterosexual biological female who is married with children.

I genuinely still don't get what it actually means >feels very stupid and wonders if this could be part of the point I.e to make those of us happy with what nature gave us and genuinely too busy getting on with everyday, mundane life to have time for such navel gazing = Not speshul enough <

On a side note Ruby Rose is possibly one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen!

It means "I am considerably woker than yaaaaw".

Sleepy