so, what would you do if someone referred to you as a ciswoman (and your job didn't depend on it)?

[lucydo]

this is a genuine WWYD. I belong to a church. I'm very happy there, and enjoy working in the social justice group. But the leader is very nice, very liberal (as far as they can be while working with a traditional CofE group of people). I just know at some point they'll start talking about women as ciswomen.
I would object, and leave the group if my objection isn't acted on. But would that mean that I was being an arse, or just lucky (unlike those in paid employment where this crops up) to be able to do it?

It wouldn’t bother me in the slightest but I’m in the minority here.

I think I be deliberately obtuse if my job depended on me not offending transwoman. ''cis woman, you mean I was born with female sex organs and had the experience of growing up female???? is that what you mean???''

I would say it's a term I don't feel comfortable with and as it's cisgender please don't misgender me on conversation.

also if it's a man that says it to you be sure to refer to him as cis man!

I think, well I hope at least, that I could say that it was a term I didn't like and I would prefer not to be referred to as such.

Ask why they are so rude as to assume a gender identity for me

I don't think it's arse-like at all, and your speaking out might give others the courage to follow suit.

I'd tell them they are misgendering me and that's a hate crime and that they are a bigot and tell them how misogynist it is....and breath..

I would ask them politely to refrain from calling me cis as it is not a descriptor I identify with. I would do this at work as well, because it merely reflects the language being used back to them. They can hardly object to me not wishing to be identified wrongly, when they insist on my compliance with their manifold identities.

Why would it make you an arse? Because other women can't afford to object to it?

Your suffering won't make other women any happier. Quite the opposite, your objection might encourage others to follow.

I’d say something. I know some people in my church are a little worried about me when I pulled them up in their attitudes before the referendum. No way am I going to be putting up with an abusive term being used towards women. But then, I am a ‘troublemaker’ (ie not meek enough) and I appreciate that not everyone is as outspoken as me.

It’s happened to me and I’ve explained that I find the term offensive and asked them not to use it. When they carried on, I asked why it was OK to offend me.

It takes having nothing to lose though these days.

I’d tell them I identify as a gay man.

I'd just tell everyone around, who would probably be hearing the word for the first time, that a cis woman is a real woman. That's the literal truth.

Ask lots of questions.

"What's that?"

"What, cis? It means not trans."

"Wait, not trans? How do you know if you're trans or not?"

"It just means if you identify with your birth gender."

"I don't understand, I thought gender was what society says you should be like - are you talking about stereotypes?"

"No, you see, people have in internal feeling of being a woman or a man or nonb-"

"A feeling?? Like what? What feeling?"

Etc etc. No attacks, just make them explain.

I would:
Ask them to explain what it means.
Point out that they're making assumptions about my gender identity, when actually gender identity is internal, personal and can only be defined by oneself.
Use their definition to explain why I am NOT cisgender (I do not have a gender identity that matches my sex, or however they like to put it).
Request that they not use it.

Great. I’m white but I’d also like to ask all the nonwhite women what they think.

I’d be tempted to ask them to repeat themselves and then ask exactly what they meant by a cis woman. In reality, I’d probably just say “woman is enough for me thanks “ and keep repeating until the message got through.

I would say something if it was used directly at me. To my limited knowledge "cis" means I identify with a specific gender which I don't so the prefix is misleading when used with me. I'm female/a woman - all biology not social constructs of oppression thank you.

I think you should tell the leader/group about an episode that upset you and use this as the example.
They’ll make a mental note not to use the term if they know in advance.

Tbh I think I would just harrumph a bit a look askance. I may even tut.
Other than that, nothing I'm afraid

I would say that I don't think the prefix cis adds anything to the term woman and woman has been fine for many years and some men wanting to identify as women shouldn't mean women need a new word.
I would rather leave a group than stay with one that cised me though. I do find it offensive.

I really like the ask lots of questions approach, but would only do it where I felt I had the time and inclination to win round an idiot.

In practice, in most situations, I'd do the same as if someone called me any other vaguely unpleasant name- take them to one side and politely but firmly explain why they aren't going to do that again.

I certainly would not leave a group- out of sheer stubbornness. Most organisations of this type have anti-bullying procedures.

I would ask them politely to refrain from calling me cis as it is not a descriptor I identify with.

I’d say this too. They have no comeback to it, unless they wish to start asking personal and inappropriate questions.

I find it offensive and would object. As others have said, I would simply say that it's not a term I identify with and therefore do not want to be described as.