so, what would you do if someone referred to you as a ciswoman (and your job didn't depend on it)?

[lucydo]

this is a genuine WWYD. I belong to a church. I'm very happy there, and enjoy working in the social justice group. But the leader is very nice, very liberal (as far as they can be while working with a traditional CofE group of people). I just know at some point they'll start talking about women as ciswomen.
I would object, and leave the group if my objection isn't acted on. But would that mean that I was being an arse, or just lucky (unlike those in paid employment where this crops up) to be able to do it?

I'd ask why they were assuming my gender. And I'd point out that it's not just trans men & women who deserve to decide their own pronouns etc. They are, in effect, misgendering you if they continue to use the term after you've objected to it in relation to you. They don't actually know you're "cis", do they? Or have they somehow developed the power to read minds...

Like someone else said above, I'd say 'just woman will do, thanks.'

I would object. Women don't need a prefix, and especially not one that negates women's lived experience.
Its a term imposed on women by an outside group; who are unaware of what growing up is like for the average teenage girl and instead frame it as privilege.

I would play dumb and ask them what "cis" meant... then watch the logic crack in front of them...

Nothing.

I think that being trans is a real thing.

Therefore being "not trans" is a real thing.

And cis is a sensible word to use for "not trans".

I would tell them that I'm a woman and I don't accept their made up language.

Interesting to me you're in a church group as the response I've thought about (though never had to use) if someone asks about pronouns is to say I'm not a subscriber to gender beliefs and leave it there. With cis, same thing. Don't subscribe to your belief system, I'm a woman. Makes the point it is a system of belief, they can't impose their belief on you, but saves getting into a political argument (sometimes we want to argue our case, sometimes we don't).

And cis is a sensible word to use for "not trans".

It is not a word for "not trans". It is a word that claims that someone identifies with the gender that is constructed around the material reality of their actual, real sex.

Most feminists do not at all identify with the gender patriarchy constructs for us.

Even if it were a sensible word (which it is not) there still is no good reason to use that word in daily life, as transactivists do.

People with Asperger's don't walk around calling everyone else "neurotypical" when that has nothing to do with anything.

Nor do disabled people throw around the word "able-bodied" when talking about other people in everyday contexts.

'woman' is a very sensible word too, that's how I prefer to be described

Adult human female = woman

Simple

I'd just ask lots of questions.
Sorry, what do you mean by cis?
What does it mean to identify as a woman?
Why are you calling women 'not trans' women?

Ask questions.

I’d ask them what it meant and when they say “your gender ID matches your sex” then “what is gender ID?”. And when they say “you identify with the gender role and presentation associated with your sex” I’ll say “that sounds pretty sexist”. And if they say “oh no it’s not sexist everyone has a gender ID” then I’ll say “ok how do you know that”? Etc.

I'm also not Norwegian, not an astronaut, not Beyonce, not male.

Since we're being categorised by what we're not.

Vitriol beat me to it

I would say please do not include me in that as I do not identify as cis.

Cis implies recognition and acceptance of the gender identity and stereotypical role of 'woman', which I do not agree with.

I am a woman because of my biological sex, not because of an identity or a feeling.

Since we're being categorised by what we're not.

Since the Green party started referring to us as non-men?

FWRLurker
Only by 1 minute! Great minds...

Actually I think Terfing beat us both

I’d ask what it was because I have no idea.
But you don’t care what I think because you’re a plopper. Apparently.

I'd explain I found it offensive to be labeled with a term that is not my preference.

I like the playful questioning!

Perhaps ask them brightly and loudly whether "ciswoman" means "a woman with a cunt"?!

Just say you found the term offensive and it means that women have lost the ability to identify as they want and are defined by the terms of others and in relationship to others rather than having full autonomy of thought and belief in their own right.

Their lived experience is rewritten as their oppression throughout time is effectively erased as being somehow trivial or not real.

I can’t say anything about this at work and it’s very difficult to talk about in my personal life either.. but in theory I would smile and say very reasonably and cheerfully, ‘Well, of course it’s a lovely thing that people can describe themselves however they want to, but you do know, that doesn’t mean that the rest of us have to change our own names to be supportive.’

Sigh. I have a fantasy that one day I will be able to say "Can we not with this cis business? I hate it when people who were socialized as men dictate how we should describe ourselves." But I'm not ready for the social pileon that would follow.

If I had nothing to lose, I would 'do a Julia Hartley Brewer'...

I think that being trans is a real thing.
And cis is a sensible word to use for "not trans"

Of course it's a real thing. This is a very odd forum to imagine you'll find people who don't think transgenderism is real- it comes up quite a lot.

But as PPs have said, cis means a lot more than not-trans. It's a label that presumes people accept, and conform to, stereotypes and so really only something that people can choose to call themselves. Not a great thing to call someone uninvited.