I was one of the transactivists on the channel 4 documentary, I regret what I did — this is why

[OnTheDarkSideOfTheSpoon]

medium.com/@Betsulimo/i-was-one-of-the-transactivists-on-the-channel-4-documentary-i-regret-what-i-did-this-is-why-7e12350ab6d3

Someone who was filmed trying to stop the “we need to talk” session now thinks they were wrong for attempting to shut down debate and realises that they were intimidating women

I recently went to a talk by Heather Bruskell-Evans and allowed her to do her talk and put up my hand to ask questions, I didn't interrupt her or shout anything out.

How extremely very gracious of you.

I wonder if they have just realised that people know who they are and what they did and are facing real life shit in the world of grown ups. Prospective employers, family, friends, shop assistants...

It's strange but it's not something I've put a whole lot of thought into, I'm just doing this because it makes me feel a lot more comfortable

Have to say, this bit tipped me into livid. Can't explain what a woman is, can't say what it feels to be one, but was prepared to terrify and risk the lives of ACTUAL WOMEN disagreeing that they are one?

Just been over to twitter and seen a thread about this.

They don’t sound sorry imho and a bit, well - if I read their comments in tone (not content) and not their name/photo I would think it was a man writing by the tone of the words. Really didn’t sound sorry.

Either a new tactic or someone has kicked their backside/reminded them that potential employers scan social media.

“I no longer think that ‘TERFs’ should be simply censored. They have the right to ‘speak their truth’, even if I think it is much less than the truth. It’s immoral for me and immoral for the transgender community to act as if we have the right to control speech. Not only is it ultimately impossible in free societies, it sends the wrong message: we want to control you. In shutting down these events, we are denying people the opportunity to learn a different truth: what we really want is to be free and to be understood.”

My whole reaction to the trans issue has been around the TRA assault in free speech. And if GCW / mumsnetters can’t accept that debate, discussion and free speech also mean listening to people they do not agree with then they make an equal and opposite assault in free speech.

This TRA has admitted they have changed their views. How will anyone else be encouraged to acknowledge change if they just get shouted down?

If you fall into the trap of letting your guard down just because your terrorisor says 'Aw, did i frighten you? so sorry' then more fool you.

Which 'GCW / Mumsnetters' are denying the author the right to express their views? I haven't seen anyone suggesting that WordPress should take down the article etc

By discussing what has been written this equates to listening and debating surely?

The author attended the Bristol Free Speech event when Heather B-E gave a speech & joined in with the Q&A.
I think Posie Parker was there too.

If you fall into the trap of letting your guard down just because your terrorisor says 'Aw, did i frighten you? so sorry' then more fool you.

Yeah..."Sorry if I scared you, I might allow you to speak next time"

I’m going to come down on the side of deeply cynical.

Esther is doing damage limitation.

Their ‘out’ is denouncing the cult, admitting they were groomed and asking for help.

I had a moment of hope words just some words, again, pfft

allowed and let controlling male abuser language and sick of it

allowed her to do her talk

Every time I reread this, I fear for my teeth (grinding). Who the fuck does this person think they are?

My whole reaction to the trans issue has been around the TRA assault in free speech. And if GCW / mumsnetters can’t accept that debate, discussion and free speech also mean listening to people they do not agree with then they make an equal and opposite assault in free speech

Yeah...also interested in who isn't accepting the debate

Some posters might not believe esthers change of heart but they are entitled to their opinion

Or is it that hive mind thingy again

Why on earth does Esther keep naming the same people on the opposing side of the debate?

Struggling to think of any more feminists?

Or a truly crap attempt at SEO mentioning Posie Parker over and over?

Regardless. No woman wishing to be taken seriously would open an article by talking about a bad hair day.

It's none of my business how far along EB is with the transition but...it is giving me pause to think that along with different socialisation, is it possible we're seeing any impact of blockers or hormones on normal brain development (as per other threads) and this is manifesting in lack of empathy, current gaps in ethical framework etc.?

I think this is a really good question. Not necessarily with regard to Ester, I've no idea if it's relevant. But one of the many objections to puberty blockers is that they prevent the emotional maturing of puberty so we do need to consider how big a part this is playing. At present I think it is small but what will happen in the future?

I am returner, I’ve tried so hard to just be observer especially as I have bad habit on wading in with my size 9 boots (retro speak, my feet are tiny) but just need some wisdom as I come from world of twitter.

I have read the ‘apology’ over and over it seems to have opened whole can of worms that I long believed closed book on. I’m rEmembering particular conversations that I would rather not of remembered. (Abusive relationship) and I feel broken all over again but also that I’m bad person because I can’t forgive Esther nor believe their apology as being genuine which I can pull apart and I can see all red flags that couldn’t see before.

But my anger and upset is due to my own experience yet I can’t separate that. WTF is wrong with me. Sorry for jumping on thread.

Is Betts also "posh boy" from the video with Julie Bindel?

Well isn’t that just Brave and Stunning
That’s no apology, that’s justification, it’s like “I’m sorry if you were upset” (but it was your own fault)
Sounds like the script and abusive man (not that I’m suggesting this person is one of those obvs) would stick to

It's like the 'brave men' who have admitted they raped people around the MeToo time. They had misunderstood and acted badly but now they have seen how wrong they were.

And we all applaud.

Emotions there is nothing wrong with you.

It's just that once you've experienced DV and managed to deprogram yourself from the emotional abuse that goes along with it that once led you to internalise your abuser's misogyny - once you've managed to escape the gaslighting and see it for what it is, you can't unlearn that lesson.

He says "I'm sorry" - you understand that what he's actually saying is "I'm sorry I got caught." He comes out with some shit excuse, and you know in his mind the shit excuse is meant to deflect blame onto you.

Once you've worked out what's going on behind the mask you can't understand it.

It's not you that's the problem here.

Emotions Hello there
I think that you are having a very natural reaction to what was written.
Take a breath, and perhaps a few more, and know that it is not you.

Sorry, I missed Fermat's post. Yes! Spot on.

The trouble is, this is not 'the debate' we're continually being told it is! Its a fight for women to prevent penises accessing their safe spaces, its women being continually told they are CIS, or TERFS if they disagree, that its no longer enough to say you are a woman, you have to justify that by prefix in with natal, gender assigned female at birth, or other ridiculous crap!

Its no a debate just because you call it one. Debates open up discussion, women weren't in the discussion when all this was being 'forced'
When penises got put into women only prisons and raped those women, or on women only wards, in hospal or secure units (where most stay due to extreme dv against them by men)...

You told women, and women have to fight to stop this happening, to stop any erosion of safeguarding for children and vulnerable adults and undermining or women's rights.

Honestly? I think this person is worried about future careers etc. Damage limitation.

To me it read very sorry not sorry.

I also wouldn't be surprised if there's many a conversation happening about not appearing to be violent and intimidating esp to women if you want to be accepted as a woman.