What did you identify as when you were a child?

[JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff]

I need something lighthearted after the incredible grimness of the thread about police intimate searches. As a SA survivor, flashbacks a-go-go

So I was thinking, what kinds of weird shit did you pretend to be when you were a kid? And how would your life be now if the adults around you had taken you really seriously?

My 3yo just announced she is a Terrible Potato who lives in a cave.

I swung between Champion the wonder horse & Lassie.

A member of Rod Hull’s pink windmill crew.

A ghostbuster until I grew up and decided I was a farmer

A fairy who could fly out of my bedroom window. And never come back.

From that ghost story above:

Police spokesman says witnesses complained about Anthony Stallard 'throwing his arms in the air and saying woooooo'

When I was about 5I identified as Sandy from Grease... soon after this age I began identifying as whichever Spice Girl was my favourite from week to week, and would be very annoyed if my parents dared to call me the wrong Spice because they'd not realised that I had a different favourite one that week

My 4 yo currently keeps telling me that he's Mr Grinch and I shall refer to him only by this name, whilst this is because he loves the movies, the irony is he is a bit of bloody grump quite a lot at the moment

A witch. Really wanted to be one.

A cat.

I wanted to be Jaclyn Smith in Charlie’s Angels.

I did pretend to be a kitten for a while too.

I was going to be a vampire and never grow up. I have a few friends who were horses and my dd was a puppy for a while.

George(ina) from the famous five, a racing car driver, Michael Jackson.

A cat usually.

Sometimes Princess, the female character in G-Force, Battle of the Planets. I asked my mum for a Princess costume one Christmas, so she bought be a long pink dress with a flowery sash and gold sandals with little heels. After the confusion came to light she sewed me a wing-shaped cloak and mini-dress.

A dancer/pop star called Jenny Francisco. Only at my granma’s house.

The Paperbag Princess.

The Little Princess, the Frances Hogson Burnett one.

A vengeful female warrior, who crawls through a secret tunnel in a castle to kill a man. Then realised once she has killed him he is the only man she might ever have loved. From a Virago feminist fairy tale IIRC.

That takes me up to about 9 or 10. Then I stopped imagining I was other things.

Lately though, I have realised that I am, and always have actually been, a kitten. I got it right the first time and everything else has been an illusion foisted on me by society.

I was Baba Yaga. Fucking awesome. You should see my house on chicken legs.

I can definitely remember a conversation with my DM where I was lamenting that I couldn't marry my cat because we were both girls. That she as a cat was inconsequential.

The ghost story from JohnnyMcGrath
*
"The witnesses reported the group engaging in rowdy behaviour and one of them throwing their arms in the air and saying 'woooooo'," he said. ...

A charge of causing criminal damage to gravestones was dismissed.*

So saying Wooo gets a fine but criminal damage to gravestones is ok.

A palomino pony and my friend Jackie was a Shetland pony. We had a show jumping course in my garden and pretty much cantered everywhere.
(I still do if I think nobody is watching )

I was a rag and bone man for a long time apparently, complete with an invisible horse. I used to walk up and down our road shouting loudly for everybody to bring out their rags and bones.

My poor parents!

I swung between Champion the wonder horse & Lassie

You hateful bigot ! Why did you exclude Skippy the Bush Kangeroo?

Dennis the Menace. Still not sure why it was Dennis, rather than Minnie the Minx. Must have either been because he was on the front page or because he had a dog.

Or I suppose it could have been that I have magic boy essence 

I identified as a prima ballerina. I wasn't even moderately awful

A prong horned antelope. Fastest ungulate (thanks usborne book of animals!).

Until my best friend Sam decided to identify as a cheetah and I got sick of having to lose every game of chase.

I then identified as a robot horse that happily had a top speed 2 mph faster than a cheetah.

I was a witch as well. I desperately wanted to fly on a broomstick and cast magic spells. Now in the last 6 months I’ve learned that I actually am a witch, just not a magic flying one though, unfortunately. It’s those evil bigoted cis witches you see, they wield their cis privilege over me and deny my very existence.

I was a cocker spaniel called Bessy when I was three, I would bark at strangers and sleep on a blanket by the aga. I grew into a boy, I didn’t really identify as a boy it’s just that I looked and behaved like one and I have a fairly androgynous name so most people assumed I was a boy, it suited me at the time so never bothered correcting people. I later became She-Ra from He Man (I think, my memory is a bit dodgy). Anyway I’m a fairly normal adult human female now.

I was Peter Pan.
I was good at it too.

Oh blimey. I was someone/something different every week.

Mind you, I still do this (but quietly in my head)