sick to the back teeth of uncomfortable, impractical clothes

[KiteMarked]

The poem, "Dangerous Coats" by Sharon Owens has been echoing around and around in my brain this summer. For years I've struggled with fake pockets, small pockets, clothes that pinch, that ride up, that fall down, that aren't comfortable - all in the name of fashion, or what's "normal" for a woman to wear. My attention has been subconsciously been taken up with worrying about how I looked, or thinking about that delicious moment at the end of the day when I can finally rip my bra off, or what outfit I should wear, what "goes" with what. The list is endless.
I look at my DH, who doesn't consider any of these things. He wears whatever top with whatever trousers. His shoes are practical, comfortable, and long-wearing. He gets dressed, and goes about his day without another thought about what he looks like. His pockets! Aaaahh, his pockets hold all his necessities with ease, and he always has free hands/arms.
I have some sensory issues anyway, so I pass no judgement on other women's choices, but my clothes have been a source of low-to-mid-level discomfort and suffering most of my adult life.
So I'm going to step out of this box I've placed myself in. I'm going to dress for comfort and practicality. I have started replacing my jeans with men's jeans (as a pear shaped woman, I thought this would be difficult, but surprisingly Lidl brand men's jeans fit nicely, with a bit of stretch - it helps that I'm tall) and as I already liked to wear button down shirts I've started wearing my DH's castoffs or charity shop bargains. The clothes are much baggier than I'm used to. They don't show off my "figure". But I am comfortable, I have room to move and stretch without my stomach showing, my sleeves are finally long enough, my jeans are thick enough to keep me warm, I can carry my phone in my pocket without risk of it falling into the loo (!!).

In actual fact, I feel like I look a bit smarter when I dress in a shirt and jeans/trousers, while also feeling more comfortable. I'm happy with this experiment, and think I'll dress like this more often. My next experiment is with more formal clothes, because dresses often annoy me, too.

I came across this article today, which is fascinating in comparing pockets in mens vs womens clothes. pudding.cool/2018/08/pockets/#step-2

“Men have pockets to keep things in, women for decoration.”

Pockets are a feminist issue....

I don't need a bra.
I never wear one at home.
I put one on for other people when I leave the house. In case they notice I'm not wearing one. I don't know how I ended up in this social contract because I get nothing out of it on my side.
If I do forget to put a bra on and I go out, I feel self conscious. I wonder if people have clocked that under my jumper, teeshirt and vest (always a vest, always cold) I am a woman with Unarmoured Breasts.

What is going on in my stupid head?

I gave up bras in July and have been so much happier!
I am only a c cup, but whatever.
I refuse to be uncomfortable

Socialisation, it creeps into every crevice of the brain.

Men's t-shirts tuck in and there is no nasty draft around the middle. Walking trousers for casual wear, men's socks men's base layer, all ways to deal with my sensory issues. Smart work wear is more difficult. No decking pockets anywhere

I never wear uncomfortable clothes. Leggings or jeggings, long top, flat shoes or boots, granny knickers, 'comfort' bra (or crop top, never sure what those things are called). Maxi dress in very hot weather. Couldn't be comfier. Never felt the need for pockets, I'd rather carry a small bag or back pack.
I can understand if your employers have a very formal or impractical dress code, or if there is cultural or religious pressure on you to dress in a certain way, but otherwise wear whatever you want. I think most women in the UK dress for comfort nowadays.

Pockets are definitely a feminist issue. My 3 yo (boy) has more useful pockets than me.

I actually like fashion/style but have recently decided to put together a capsule wardrobe of clothes that look ok & are easy to wear, so things like:

• straight:bootcut jeggings instead of jeans
• long vest tops with a fine knit jumper over
• skechers trainers to walk in (I have problem feet)

I have also found some tunic tops/dresses with pockets

This may not seem stylish to all but I feel that it's a good compromise for me

Oh and I can't go braless but have bought some sports bras in bright patterns

Good for you! Every time a woman decides to do something that prioritises the way her own body feels rather than the way other people see her body, that's a win for feminism.

I refuse to wear any item of clothing that is not comfortable. If it's uncomfortable to me or I can't move freely I just won't wear it. No high heels, no bras (I know they are comfortable for some women, but not me), no fabrics that aren't soft.

Women's bodies should not be restricted in the name of appearance or social conformity. It's especially tragic when it happens to little girls.

I was trying to find a regular, comfortable jumper for myself a few years back. They all had very open neck or 3/4sleeves or short hem. So now I mainly wear mens jumpers. Same with smart work trousers, mens ones have bigger pockets and I find the waist is more comfortable height as well.

I find women's clothing to never be warm enough! It's all thin materials, tops and trousers are too short, I don't want cold ankles or tummy. And I would love a jumper that covers my bum. I end up wearing about 4 or 5 layers in the winter, it's a pita!

Shoes in particular give me the rage. I have big feet so have started buying men's brogues instead of the women's versions. Everything about them is different. Harder wearing, waterproof, instantly comfortable, made for walking not tottering. Favourite jeans at the moment are a pair of DS castoffs from when he was 14 - really comfortable and with useful pockets in the right places.

I wear a bra because I’m uncomfortable without one.

I wear comfortable shoes because heels make my feet hurt

I wear women’s jeans because I’ve found a brand that fits me perfectly

I don’t need tonnes of pockets because they make me feel bulky and I love bags

I don't think this is as much of a feminist problem as you are making it out to be. There are a plethora of clothing brands / styles out there. You can even buy 'boyfriend' style jeans for women.
If you feel comfortable in your dh clothes then go for it.

I haven't read feminist theory.

I ignored my own comfort for so long.

I used to wonder why feminists burnt bras.

I don't wear a bra at home, it's not comfortable, I wear a bra in public.

Is it because they are uncomfortable and we wear a bra to present breasts in a way that offers enjoyment for men?

Did you read the article I linked to? Lack of pockets have been a specific design feature to limit women's engagement in public life. It's quite shocking.

I wear what I call a tit sling at home for comfort. I end up with sausage chest.

Feminists didn't really burn bras that much.

www.snopes.com/fact-check/feminist-bra-burning/

In my opinion, the feminist view on bras is: If a bra makes you feel more comfortable, wear a bra. If a bra makes you feel less comfortable, don't wear a bra. The opinions of men should not factor into the decision. Women's breasts and nipples in their natural shape/position are not obscene or inappropriate.

I bloody love clothes and I still manage to be comfortable.
Maybe I’m lucky in that I don’t have to dress in a corporate way for work.
I wear some men’s clothes because I like them but I don’t agree that they’re always more comfortable as they’re made for a different shaped body.
Pockets - yes.

I never understand these posts.
Sure, it's sometimes hard to find exactly what you want but that's the same for everybody.
I shop mostly at Go Outdoors or similar.
Never had a problem finding comfortable clothes or clothes with pockets.
If you can't find what you want in the places you usually look, go somewhere else.

I wear a bra for comfort because I am large of nork and they are saggy. If I dont I get really sore and sweaty underneath. I dont wear underwire or anything though, I get the comfy "granny" bras from M&S.

Same with knickers. I wear M&S ones that go right up to my bellybutton.

Clothes wise, I wear mainly leggings with loose tops/dresses preferably with pockets. Shoes or boots are flat.

I find it easy to get comfortable clothes that are not from the mans section. I do shop in charity shops though and dont follow fashions whatsoever.

I have large breasts and frankly, without a bra to strap them down, they get in my way

I never understand these posts.
Sure, it's sometimes hard to find exactly what you want but that's the same for everybody.

I think people who try and follow fashions will be the ones who struggle. Like you say, if you want comfortable clothes, they arent hard to find.

Bold fail, sorry

I think the problem is that if, as a woman, you dress for comfort you risk being considered frumpy or not concerned about your appearance, and in many situations not being taken seriously. As a young woman, that may inhibit your desirability, because even the wokest of woke young men have been socialised (as women have) to consider certain styles of dress attractive.

Dress codes for women in business are still much more impractical than those for men, even though this may be changing. It's still hard (though not impossible) to find comfortable flat shoes to wear with skirts that look conventionally 'smart'.

Girls' shoes in particular make me so angry. They're patent, glittery, open to the elements, have completely unnecessary heels. Meanwhile, boys shoes are sturdy, closed, practical and warm. Girls' are for decoration, boys' are for action.

On the adult side, I've recently decided that the criteria for clothes is no longer 'what makes me look thinnest'. It's disturbing how difficult it is to put this into practice every day when I open the wardrobe though. I definitely feel conditioned into making myself look 'less' every day just to go out into the world.