sick to the back teeth of uncomfortable, impractical clothes

[KiteMarked]

The poem, "Dangerous Coats" by Sharon Owens has been echoing around and around in my brain this summer. For years I've struggled with fake pockets, small pockets, clothes that pinch, that ride up, that fall down, that aren't comfortable - all in the name of fashion, or what's "normal" for a woman to wear. My attention has been subconsciously been taken up with worrying about how I looked, or thinking about that delicious moment at the end of the day when I can finally rip my bra off, or what outfit I should wear, what "goes" with what. The list is endless.
I look at my DH, who doesn't consider any of these things. He wears whatever top with whatever trousers. His shoes are practical, comfortable, and long-wearing. He gets dressed, and goes about his day without another thought about what he looks like. His pockets! Aaaahh, his pockets hold all his necessities with ease, and he always has free hands/arms.
I have some sensory issues anyway, so I pass no judgement on other women's choices, but my clothes have been a source of low-to-mid-level discomfort and suffering most of my adult life.
So I'm going to step out of this box I've placed myself in. I'm going to dress for comfort and practicality. I have started replacing my jeans with men's jeans (as a pear shaped woman, I thought this would be difficult, but surprisingly Lidl brand men's jeans fit nicely, with a bit of stretch - it helps that I'm tall) and as I already liked to wear button down shirts I've started wearing my DH's castoffs or charity shop bargains. The clothes are much baggier than I'm used to. They don't show off my "figure". But I am comfortable, I have room to move and stretch without my stomach showing, my sleeves are finally long enough, my jeans are thick enough to keep me warm, I can carry my phone in my pocket without risk of it falling into the loo (!!).

In actual fact, I feel like I look a bit smarter when I dress in a shirt and jeans/trousers, while also feeling more comfortable. I'm happy with this experiment, and think I'll dress like this more often. My next experiment is with more formal clothes, because dresses often annoy me, too.

I came across this article today, which is fascinating in comparing pockets in mens vs womens clothes. pudding.cool/2018/08/pockets/#step-2

“Men have pockets to keep things in, women for decoration.”

Pockets are a feminist issue....

Then there's the fact that putting stuff in your pockets makes the garment change shape.

And there we have it. Don’t put stuff in your pockets women or men can’t look at your arse properly.

Stuff in pockets ‘ruins the line’ of men’s clothes too, but I don’t see anyone stopping putting pockets in men’s clothes anytime soon.

Yep, why do we have to care about the neat line of our garments? Do men give any fucks about this? No. Then nor shall I!

Just don't put your £1000 iPhoneX in your back jeans pocket when you have a wee, please. This is what bags were designed for!

I find it perfectly easy to find comfortable clothes with pockets in. Not all of my work dresses have proper pockets in but 90% of my wardrobe does.

I agree in the past it was much harder to find women's clothes with decent pockets but over the past five years or so lots of clothing brands have really listened to women and started selling what we want. "Dresses with pockets" is the way to go.

NB I'm middle aged, not fashion-forward and couldn't give a shit. I have nice clothes that fit me and suit me.

I don’t see anyone stopping women putting stuff in their pockets either. Just because someone else doesn’t use her pockets because she wants to keep the line of her clothes tight (and lots of men follow this policy as well, btw) doesn’t mean you can’t use yours. Just because one woman didn’t consider that she might want to go for a walk by the river when she chose what shoes to wear, doesn’t mean you can’t go for lunch in trainers. Why does this come up, in one form or another, every time women’s choices get discussed? If it isn’t clothes and makeup, it’s whether or not to have children, or whether or not to be a working mother, or whether or not to change your name when you get married. If women don’t have choice, that’s bad. If women’s choices are not genuine, that’s bad. If they aren’t exactly the same as yours every single time, leave them the fuck alone and be glad we aren’t all clones of each other.

To be fair - Yours (yes it's a plus size shop so not relevant to all) are dramatically increasing the range of their stuff that comes with practical sized pockets... they've figured out that pockets are a good draw for clothing and are running with it.

I'm more comfortable with a (non underwired cos underwiring is bloody evil stuff that turns on you halfway through the day and tries to stab you) bra on than off - but I'm large of norkage and hate sweaty underboob.

Women's clothing can be shite - men's clothing can also be shite if you're a scruff like DH who refuses to wear jeans.

I think the slightly sewn up pockets are a good compromise - if you want the clothing to lie immaculately... leave them sewn up... if you want to actually have sensible pockets - unpick it but at least then you've got the option to.

I'd rather not have pockets at all, thanks.

Strategically placed pockets on the inside of a coat or jacket are less likely to spoil the line. Men’s tailored clothes can be great for this and I’ve had them altered to fit a couple of times. Women’s country clothing can be good too - I’ve never picked up a gun in my life but I do have a vintage ‘shooting coat’ with brilliant inside pockets and toasty warm and dry too. Admittedly I quite like the odd bit of the Queen at Balmoral styling.

Yes I do care about the line. I don’t see why I shouldn’t care just cos men allegedly don’t (which I dispute anyway - ask my husband).

Can only answer for my son here, but he doesn't use his pockets at all. He carries his things around in a little back pack. He has too much stuff to fit in pockets anyway.

I really don't see the issue. There is literally millions of types of women's clothes available to buy. With pockets, without pockets, wide pockets, deep pockets, small pockets, tight clothing, loose clothing, smocks, tunics, fitted, clingy, baggy, long length, short length,

Sure every shop won't sell every style, but there can be no argument it's all easily available for personal choice. There is no need to wear men's clothes and pretend all women's clothing is infantilised and pocketless.

This is why, when I find something that fits, with pockets, in a colour/style/fabric that suits, I buy several!

It's a fine line. I have to look presentable for about 50% of work time so I struggle to find things that meet this and are comfy. I may just be a strange shape, but restrictive "smart" clothes make me feel uncomfortable and miserable.

One wonderful thing about the fact that practically everyone over the age of 14 has at least one phone is that pockets are more and more common in women's clothing. I even found some wedding dresses the other day that had them!

I make use of DH's pockets when we are out and I don't have any myself (or only enough for my phone, but not my other stuff). Partly because he has Man Pockets, but also he is very big so his clothes are very big so his pockets are also very big

Maybe it's part of the US/UK divide, but I have no problem finding comfortable, practical clothing here in Boston.

Where footwear is concerned, you really do get what you pay for. I live in the city, and do most of my travelling on foot, so it's important to me to have comfortable shoes. I am willing to pay for that.

If you are expecting to find a wide size range and natural fabrics, you are not going to find it in Primark, shops like that have a business model of selling the cheapest possible clothing to the largest number of people.

I haven't worn a bra for two years since discovering Uniqlo bra camis and tops. My life has changed for the comfortable!

I don't have a problem finding comfortable, practical clothing either. Most of my clothes are 'women's clothes' as well. I didn't think the point of the OP was that women don't have options available to them (though of course women can be limited by their shape/size or how much disposable income they have). Neither is the point that women should wear 'men's clothes' - isn't it more that clothes shouldn't be off limits just because they are labelled as men's?

The point is that KiteMarked realised that she was making herself physically uncomfortable due to social conditioning. Lots of women clearly have this problem and struggle with perceived standards for women's appearance, wearing things or performing beauty rituals that they don't really want to just because they feel they 'should'. Saying oh I don't have this problem is meaningless - not all problems affecting women will affect every single woman. She has rejected that social conditioning and chosen to 'step outside the box [she's] placed herself in'. This is unambiguously brilliant and definitely feminist. Well done OP.

I’m just about to get rid of the last of my underwired bras. My work trousers have deep pockets and I do occaisionally stand around with my hands in them, which probably really annoys my colleagues. Seasalt is good for easy hardwearing clothing. I have also stolen a cashmere jumper from my husband. I just like the simplicity of men’s classic clothing- which can look very smart too.
I enjoy dressing up when I need to, but the rest of the time I like to be comfortable. I am possibly one of the few brides who chose their wedding dress with comfort in mind!

I love lingerie and heels lingerie because it's pretty and makes me feel good, heels because I'm a short arse, I work nearly entirely with men and I feel like they talk over my head in flats.
However clothing def is a feminist issue. Men's jeans seem to be much thinner, softer denim than womens, maybe because no elastane. I love pockets too.

I used to be a women’s wear high street fashion designer. I designed mid range clothing for lots of high street shops and supermarkets. The only thing that ever crossed my mind was, does the design work- will people buy it- they won’t in vast numbers in the shops I worked for if the designs aren’t practical and well fitting. Most retailers we delt with were very practical in their approach, so necklines couldn’t be too low for example. All garments being bought, and fitted by women for women to wear it was a great industry to work in. The only “fake” pockets I ever saw were back of trouser pockets, that get sewn shut- lots of these can actually be opened for use if you pick the seam. I have a coat that has two at the front, I’ve opened and use both.

Most people should be able to get a good fit, but there is no industry standard for sizes. So say an M&S 14 could be like a next 16 for example. (That’s not factual by the way.) I’d say there are loads of choices for easy to wear clothes for women on the high street that aren’t revealing or clingy. You can always go a size up if a certain style pinches or fits badly but you like it. There are also tons of super clingy teeny tiny revealing clothes if that’s what you like too- I used to go clubbing in what now I’d consider underwear ! 🤣 I think if you are comfortable and you like your clothes and you choose them they are right for you, and if OP loves men’s clothes then fair play- I had some killer men’s shirts from river island years ago - I loved em, and at the time couldn’t find equivalent for women. My one fashion big bear is little girls shorts. My daughter is 9 and frankly the majority of girls shorts save for 3 online stores are obscenely short. There generally doesn’t seem to be a stock of girls board shorts- just above knee. Clothing design and manufacture is a massive women’s employer industry in the U.K. and I do know they are struggling to survive financially like lots of industries at the moment.

I hate pockets as I always leave things in them and they get lost and/or washed! Much prefer bags - stuff can live in there rather than needing to be offloaded every night and put into different pockets the next day!

Hate heels though - despite being short I insist on comfy, flat shoes 99‰ of the time.