It's not women who invented this double bind to be big meanie meanies.
Ffs.
The double bind just is
You were born a male. Nobody's fault. It just is.
You want to use female spaces. Women didn't tease or tempt you into them and then cock block you. Your feelings about your body have nothing to do with women, it's not our fault. You want something that just isn't - it's not us denying you. Natural biological phenomena. It just is cold in winter, t**fs didn't cast a spell.
Our bodies are different and have different needs & experiences, this isn't a cool girls club we're nastily excluding you from, you just are excluded - just like I'm naturally excluded from 'Male' even though some of that physical and societal privilege would be sweet. I'm also excluded from the transwomen club.
It also isn't our fault that your sex commits 98+% of sexual assault and 90+% of violent crime. I know that many of your MRA buddies like to blame us, or say that male on male violence is worse. It's not our fault that we have learned responses, triggers if you will, to be wary of the primary and secondary sex characteristics that we recognise in you. It's not women's fault that you aren't comfortable with those characteristics either. Again, we aren't witches, we can't cast a spell to either remove your characteristics, fix male violence or quell our response to it.
Being female under patriarchy is one big double bind. Madonna/white, skinny/fat, ugly/pretty, nice/bitch, meek/bitch, emotional/bitch, frigid/slut, bad mother/bad worker, infertile/too fertile, fetishised/ignored... on and on ad finitum. Just like I don't understand what being a transwoman is like, you have no idea - no idea what being a woman is really like. None. And you betray that truth with every word.
What we can do, what our foremothers fought hard to do, is create our own spaces within which we can feel safe and enjoy privacy to manage our exclusively female bodied experiences. We didn't create them as a slight to you and your sex (who incidentally have fought us every step of the way), we didn't conjur them up with a magical flurry, we fought and fought and poured out our labour, our blood, sweat and tears.
Maybe you can understand why stealing that labour, invading those spaces, is objectionable?
I'm sure that if transwomen similarly fought hard to create those spaces for themselves in society, many women would have been your allies.
Help us dismantle patriarchy, by first doing your own work to dismantle it within yourselves - not by pasting patriarchal femininity over patriarchal masculinity and calling it kweer