I just can't even right now - "trans" toddler

[aidelmaidel]

NC for this because very un-PC

Acquaintance has a three-year-old girl, who has decided that she is a boy. Has picked a different name, a different birthday (?) and Mum is extremely vigilant about defending this child's New Identity in all directions. Nursery, grandparents, colleagues have all been told, and parenting support group (mostly academics) are terribly supportive whenever anyone refers to this child as "she." She's even posted links to those weird sites that sell fake penises for small children (so that they can have an authentic bulge in their nappies?) so I assume the kid is packing one of those.

This has been going on for a good few months now.

Recently the mum posted that the child regularly has epic two-hour tantrums.

I can't help but think well, you're letting the kid insist that their name, their physical makeup, and their birthday can be altered at will and every adult around them must bow down accordingly, does it really surprise you that the kid can't cope with life when other things aren't treated the same?

Venting here because this sort of thinking is verboten in real life. Is this one of those things where once you have a toddler of your own you get a totally different perspective?

Surely this isn’t true?!

Btw two hour tantrums in a toddler aren’t a sign of anything except that they are a toddler!

I wish it wasn't true. It's ghastly every time she posts. I cannot bring myself to be supportive of her efforts to force everyone around her to prop up her kid's alternative reality.

But good to hear that two hour tantrums are just part of being a toddler. Well, not good exactly. Anyway. In that case I'll keep rolling my eyes privately and not worrying too much. And hoping the kid grows out of it before they get put on hormones.

Surely 2 hour tantrums aren’t normal for most toddlers?

And I’m extremely sceptical about any 3 year old having enough understanding of gender to be genuinely trans.

My three year old pretends that the Paw Patrol pups live with us. There was also a period of time when he insisted that he was a mouse rather than a boy. He also claims that when he grows up, he will be an elephant. At that age, I don't think saying that they are a different sex is anything more than a bit of pretending.

I've made sure people know about ds's make-believe because it can be slightly disconcerting otherwise. And I wouldn't be happy either if some other adult took it upon themselves to tell ds that none of this is true when dh and me play along with the make believe.

Jesus

Welcome to this brave new world.

If the TRAs win, then this is our children's future: gender stereotypes, early-transition, and zero-questioning.

Well here's hoping for an intervention from some sane family members...

FFS it's normal for kids to play (and that's what it is) and act out all sorts of situations and identities.

You don't belittle that, you engage and have fun.

Equally you don't reinforce one or other play "roles" at that age - unless you're active in looking out for them - which I fear some parents are.

What sort of company makes fake penises for toddlers????

Children pretend all sorts of things. My ds at age 3 wanted (and got) a dress to wear for parties because his best friend at that age always had pretty dresses for parties. If he'd also wanted long hair and to call himself princess Lola or whatever is probably have humoured that on the basis that it was a phase and he'd outgrow it. It wouldn't have occurred to me that he was "trans" because he was 3 not 23.

I'm struggling to believe this

I don't know if these parents are transactivists themselves pushing an agenda, homophobic and saw a few gnc signs early on and instantly started pushing this wronger gender ideology on them in hopes of a "normal" hetero child, or are just dumb as heck by deciding to take everything a toddler says seriously.

Also, those child sizes dildos are horrific. I'm so worried for children. Not just in regards to the hormones...but also just the negative effects of having every adult around you keep you from living in reality.

My DC wanted to be a pony for a while. However according to other threads this is also a thing too ( recognised at a large international corporate as a self is ID)

I was very unkind in not supporting their wishes in not building a stable block in my garden or getting them a swishy tail.

I am not getting old this world has gone mad. The damage these parents are doing to their DCs is dreadful

Links? Easy to say stuff like this as truth without any credible sources. Sounds very "friend of a friend of a friend" without.

I meant it's easy for anyone to post on here saying their 3 year old girl says they're a boy, no sources given.
This is where I sit on the fence though as 3 year old's are just that - 3 year olds. Toddlers no concept of male or female. They're only just learning that they're a separate entity away from parents (eg playschool) gender is just a no as they're just toddlers.

WTF! does the word "Tom-boy" still exist?

Lorelai If a kid tells me they're a horsie I'll pretend their sandwiches are hay, but I'll still talk to the parent about their child and not about their little horsie. And surely a kid needs to know at some point that pretend is pretend?

Rainbows oh dear, yes I see it sounds a bit silly, but I don't think they've done interviews. Or maybe they have, but it doesn't seem quite naice to go digging them out.

Point isn't to dump on the family so much. Mostly I'm boggled by this degree of blurring the lines between real and pretend with a toddler, not least because I only have a few years to get my head around all this before my DD is liable to start doing the same sort of thing.

If true this is the kind of thing that should be reported to social services.

The risk is that SS are sutpidly woke or scared, but there was a court case WRT a young child (older than this) was thought to be trans amidst a custody battle, and the judge took a very dim view of unquestioning affirmation and of the mother is seemingly pushing her own agenda.

So gather evidence and then think of what is best for the child.

My 3-year old has told me on a number of occasions that she's a mommy too and she has 2 children, a boy and a girl, one of whom is a baby and the other is 7 years old. Sometimes it changes, when I ask her where they are - because they can't be home alone of course! - and then she says they are now grown-up kids who can be on their own without her. She also has a job where she works for a boss called 'Muckazymes' who apparently keeps her really busy with emails and meetings.

I used to laugh with DH about this but now I see that she is clearly a trans-adult. I should be more respectful of her newfound identity and ask everyone to accept her new identity and stop mis-aging her by saying she is 3 years old.

Seriously though, 3 year olds are wild. There is no rhyme nor reason to the stuff they come out with. Very entertaining but totally ridiculous to get adults to pander to a child by using other pronouns etc.

My 4 year old pulled a t shirt up over his head and proclaimed that he was now a girl called Bella. It lasted for one afternoon.
It's children just being children. They play, they make believe.
By the following morning he'd totally forgotten all about it.

When I was younger, my mum's friend's 4/5 year old told everyone she was a boy and asked to be called Peter. She would only respond to the name Peter and male pronouns. She told her teachers and they also called her Peter.

We are going back 30 years so there was none of this "transing" everyone business.

So we all treated it as the game that it was and she is now a married adult human female with children.

Were she a 4/5 year old today, God knows where it would end for her.