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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Stunning, brave translady is both stunning and brave

310 replies

CaitlynsCat · 28/08/2018 19:38

www.leicestermercury.co.uk/news/leicester-news/decisions-led-dad-become-transgender-1944624

"As well as having made the huge decision to begin transgender treatment, Martin also decided that he would not hide any longer.

He would come out as a transgender woman - as Katie - in a way which was very publicly indeed.

Since then, he has been shouting his experiences from the rooftops via social media and local radio and – by and large – has received something of a hero’s welcome."

"Martin/Katie was not only heterosexual, he wanted a child.

He cut his hair, fell in love and the couple had a child together, who is the apple of his eye.

Then in May last year, Martin went to see a clairvoyant he had met at a business networking meeting.

“I went along for a reading because I’d never been to one and I was intrigued,” she says.

What she told him was that he needed to start a new way of being and said there was a part of him that had always been there but that he was not fully in integrity with."

"after that, my gender dysphoria increased dramatically – I was so desperate to identify myself I even Googled ‘what gender is Martin Neeves?’ ”

Desperate, confused and in turmoil, he joined a support group on social media and someone suggested he should see a specialist gender counsellor.

After four successful sessions, in which he says he "hit the ground running", he felt that he was "gender fluid" ("nature doesn’t do black and white, it presents a whole spectrum.")"

"Katie now says: “After counselling and working through therapy on how to identify your gender, I now know I am 70 percent female and 30 percent male.

"It was my fear stopping me from admitting I am actually a transgender woman.”

A second visit to the clairvoyant resulted in a four-hour clarification session using deep meditation and other methods as a way of encouraging and revealing inner truth, with all the answers coming from Martin."

"She looks wonderful and feels great. Her prescribed hormones have made her skin soft, and as a naturally slightly-built person, she has an enviable figure.

She counts herself lucky as many other transgender women are naturally of a heavy build.

Brave determination has paid off, she is happier and more relaxed than ever.

Katie’s name will not be considered for the long waiting list for the actual operation to make her into a woman sexually, until she has lived full-time for a woman as a year."

OP posts:
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AngryAttackKittens · 29/08/2018 10:07

I do try not to eyeroll myself right out of my chair...seriously though, some of us give not a single fuck as to whether or not we're performing female socialization correctly by never, ever taking the piss out of male humans, always putting their feelings first, and giving them the benefit of the doubt no matter how many red flags they're waving. If that shocks some people, on a feminist board, then I'm not quite sure what to tell them.

AngryAttackKittens · 29/08/2018 10:09

If I consulted a clairvoyant about what to have for dinner I'd fully expect to hear snarky comments about it for years.

bellinisurge · 29/08/2018 10:12

@BeUpStanding Star

SimonBridges · 29/08/2018 10:15

"But Martin will always be with me and I am proud of all I’ve achieved as Martin, which is why I am keeping my business name as Martin Neeves Photography and Film.”

Careful there Katie, your male privilege is showing.

AngryAttackKittens · 29/08/2018 10:17

Convenient to have Martin with you when it's time for someone to sign a cheque made out to your business, eh?

SimonBridges · 29/08/2018 10:17

I can’t see that Martin has done anything to attract this kind of ridicule tbh

Went to the local paper about it?

This isn’t some random in the street, this is someone who has courted publicity.

TeaForDad · 29/08/2018 10:23

He has been nominated for a woman's award!

So stunning and brave

Look what's just happened... I have been nominated for an award with the East Midlands Women's Awards for my trans-ambassador work!
plus.google.com/+MartinNeeves

LadybirdsAreBirds · 29/08/2018 10:31

BeUpstanding

Thankyouthankyouthankyou. for that Tracey Ullman sketch

DuckingGoodPJs · 29/08/2018 10:31

The 'literal violence' of 'deadnaming' seems to be ok when it means profit/livelihood.

How are we to apply the MN special pronoun rules on this one?

Zeugma · 29/08/2018 10:33

Wouldn't it be just perfect if Martin/Katie were to get together for some chat, networking and perhaps a few portrait shots with that other brave and stunning award-winner Pips/Pippa Bunce?

I can't work out the male/female percentages involved, though, too complicated

LadybirdsAreBirds · 29/08/2018 10:35

Others can attain Katie's business acumen by training at the Jo Cox foundation's Empowering Women (sic) in Business training

MipMipMip · 29/08/2018 10:38

If I consulted a clairvoyant about what to have for dinner I'd fully expect to hear snarky comments about it for years.

Try meat and two veg Angry.

TinyRick · 29/08/2018 10:42

Nope, Magpie, try again.

I still kept borrowing my sister’s clothes (and my girlfriend’s), in secret though, all through until my early 20s

This ^ is what I was referring to in regards to 'fetish'.

Nice of you to ignore the ' in secret ' part.

Happityhap · 29/08/2018 10:51

I think my figure is okay, but I usually wear jeans and jumper or shirt, and I never use make-up or do my nails.
Am I doing 'woman' wrong?

TinyRick · 29/08/2018 10:51

East Midlands Women's Awards for my trans-ambassador work!

Wtf. They have been 'out' for only 8 months. How have they done enough ambassadoring for an award?!

Don't get me started on the 'Women's' bit...

AngryAttackKittens · 29/08/2018 10:53

(Tries to envy Katie's figure)

(Fails)

(Muses on the fact that unrepentant sexists are pretty much the only people who ever seem to use the word "figure")

Happityhap · 29/08/2018 11:06

Okay, to stop this all being so confusing - we need a word for people with XX chromosomes and another word for people with XY chromosomes, regardless of how they choose to look or act.

Any suggestions for what those words could be?.........

AngryAttackKittens · 29/08/2018 11:08

"Servant" and "master" seem to be the ones being not very subtly suggested.

Happityhap · 29/08/2018 11:13

So does this mean his long term partner has become a Lesbian unwittingly? It must be so confusing.

Oh, don't fuss - as long as Martin/Katie is happy, everything's fine.

Happityhap · 29/08/2018 11:25

"Why do we not have more of a focus on transmen? Why are the majority of people being discussed in any story about the transgender experience transwomen?"

"To me, this seems like a new twist on a very old tradition: sexism. While this may seem complex, at the end of the day I believe it is really quite simple: Many people still see transgender women as men and transgender men as women -- from the time they are born until after they transition."

www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/opinion-invisible-man-why-have-transmen-been-left-behind-n662416

birdbandit · 29/08/2018 11:34

If his wife is lurking, she's more than welcome to join us on the Widows thread.

At least with articles like this (some) folk might start listening and believing what we say.

"Alluring body" massive eye roll. Their kid will read that one day.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 29/08/2018 11:40

Sorry to be dim but what does AGP stand for?

tiktok · 29/08/2018 11:50

Emma - AGP is autogynophilia. This is a sexual fetish whereby the man gets off, sexually, by seeing himself as female.

Grayson Perry has it - but is cool about it and does not claim it has anything to do with biological sex or identity.

Basically in Martin/katie’s case, it’s a kink masquerading as an identity which itself masquerades as a ‘passing’ woman.

R0wantrees · 29/08/2018 12:00

Sorry to be dim but what does AGP stand for?

There is a useful recently published book by Dr Az Hakeem (Gender specialist) called 'Trans Identity: A guide for everyone including professionals'
Dr Hakeem wrote the introductory explanatory chapters, including explanation of autogynophilia (AGP) and then edited the essays which follow by a number of people from different perpspectives and backgrounds.
Some can be read open access on Amazon:

www.amazon.co.uk/TRANS-Exploring-Gender-Identity-Dysphoria/dp/1911246496?tag=mumsnetforum-21

RatRolyPoly · 29/08/2018 12:00

Has this particular trans woman done something specific to offend your feminist principles? You know, like being a raging online TRA, a violent criminal, a registered sex offender, or any number of other actual tangible affronts to anyone on this thread?

Or is their sole crime to have lived their life as they see fit and in so doing attracted the attention of the massive news giant that is the Leicester Mercury on the basis that a couple of Leicester locals might be passably interested in it?

In which case, this is just another "bash a trans person" thread.

Great work guys, a hundred post group mockery session is absolutely warranted here.

And you lot think you have the moral high ground. No fucking chance.

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