BACP Gender,Sexual, and Relationship Diversity by Dr Meg-John Barker

[R0wantrees]

Good Practice Guide, British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy
(extract)
2.6 Gender identity: woman
Definitions
"Whether trans or cisgender, intersex or not, many people identify as
women. However, what this means varies a great deal depending on their other intersecting attributes. It is important not to assume, for example, that being a woman necessarily involves being able to bear children, or having XX sex chromosomes, or breasts. Being a woman in a British cultural context often means adhering to social norms of femininity, such as being nurturing, caring, social, emotional, vulnerable, and concerned with appearance.
However, of course, not all women adhere to all these things. For example some neurodiverse women (on the autistic/aspergic/ADHD spectrums) may struggle to express emotions, or with social situations. In some northern working-class contexts femininity is associated with strength and aggression. As always an intersectional understanding is vital and we need to be mindful that what is culturally regarded as the epitome of femininity is white, middle class, youthful, non-disabled, heterosexual, cisgender, and thin. This strongly shapes all women’s experiences of womanhood.
Common concerns
While gender may not always be relevant to a woman’s presenting issues, mental health struggles are often gendered. Women have such high rates of body image issues that this has been labelled ‘normative discontent’.
It has been related to both narrow ideals of feminine beauty, and the
contradictory pressures on women today to conform to stereotypical
femininity and to be independent and successful. Food and body
can represent one potential area of control in an uncontrollable and
contradictory world. Women are more likely than men to be diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and many other emotional disorders. This has been linked to the way women’s identities are often bound up with other people, for example, rates of depression often peak for mothers when children leave home. Therapy with women may well involve exploring their relationships with others, and with being desirable, pleasing and/or approved of" (continues)

My understanding is that the majority of counsellors in the UK are BACP accredited. There is a great deal in this document to consider.

The author is the partner of Edward Lord who identifies as non-binary see recent threads:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3323475-Surprise-The-Masons-now-welcome-Transwomen-but-not-women
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3317922-City-of-London-Corporation-consultation-is-out-this-covers-Hampstead-Ponds
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3316098-Childrens-Convenor-Elected-Councillor-calls-women-cunts-on-Twitter-rants

Shit, I don't own a flat cap, does this mean I have to identify as a proper Southern lady?

Also, I apologize for the fact that after reading Ereshkigal's initial statement I incorrectly regioned her as cis Northern.

Literal violence! I am proudly trans Northern! I can make a better Yorkshire pudding than any cis Northerner!

But what is solo-polyamoury?

OK, now I'm genuinely lost. Is this believing yourself to be in a 3 or more way relationship with your own multiple personalities?

More to the point, my dp is from the North, and very empathetic and nurturing. Does that mean he’s a woman and therefore we are lesbians? Or does my not being concerned with my appearance mean that I am a man and we’re still straight?

Hey, if it works for Fox and Owl in terms of granting legitimacy and the ability to have organizations take your concerns seriously...

Who is on the executive board or involved with the governance of BACP and how do we complain to them? This bolleaux makes a complete mockery of their organisation and they are going to lose all credibility if they persist in this. They might not care about women but they probably will care about having their reputation trashed and a descent into irrelevance. Also, lawsuits when they are sued by some poor soul who'll be damaged by this.

Tut tut angryattackkittens, Google is always your friend!

Solo polyamory is a fluid category that covers a range of relationships, from the youthful “free agent” or recent divorcee who might want to “settle down” some day but for now wants to play the field with casual, brief, no-strings-attached connections, to the seasoned “solo poly” who has deeply committed, intimate, and lasting relationships with one or more people.

Your definition probably works in this "fluid category".

See, I would call that "single", but I guess that doesn't sound very stunning or brave.

I thought solo polyamory was having a variety of preferred masturbatory techniques!!

Blimey. You learn a new thing every day.

Or having a selection of sex toys rather than remaining faithful to just one.

Now I'm holding out the hope of a woke article with the headline:

I Cheated On My Favourite Dildo

An apology to my Hitachi Magic Wand

See, I would call that "single", but I guess that doesn't sound very stunning or brave.

Quite. New terms are important to smash those boundaries and binaries.

Has anyone complained about this guidance?

I will be writing to them today about this. How many people would have reviewed this before publishing with such arrant crap about babies' clitorises? Have none of them had children? Or even seen a birth on telly? And what about scrotums? This has tipped me over the edge.

This is their complaints procedure:
www.bacp.co.uk/about-us/contact-us/complain-about-bacp/

Thanks shark. I am furious.

current thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3350668-The-British-Asscoicatuon-for-Counselling-and-Psychotherapy-have-come-up-with-Definition-of-woman

I'be just listened to the Meg-John podcast. So much stereotyping of what we Mumsnetters are - mothers who want their kids to be normal, apparently. Thing is, Meg-John and I express our gender pretty similarly - minus the tweeds. I really resent the assumption that all 'cis' people (can I still say that?) are gender conforming and vanilla.

It's patently untrue and patently gender critical people are gender non-conforming because we recognise it as a load of made up, patriarchal nonsense that's screwing up society.

It's perfectly ok to be female and be competitive, sexual, confident whatever whatever. Just because it suits M-J to believe these aspects of her character are masculine, it doesn't make that inherently so for everyone.

I was cross. Please forgive misgendering in last post. Just ban me now MN.

I'm suffering from Rapid Onset Regional Dysphoria.

I was assigned southern at birth, (ASAB), due to the letters in my post code. I knew there I had a little Northerner in me (fnarr) when I married a chap from Leeds.

Over the last few years, its become apparent that I am transitioning into a northerner. We eat our yorkshire puddings before our meat and veg. Lately Ive been saying things like Bath (to rhyme with Math) and Dance (to rhyme with pants). Im increasingly aggressive and foul mouthed, and not as nurturing as I used to be when the old bastard leaves his dirty pants on the bedroom floor.

Ive aslo been known to command my other half to make me a cuppa in a non consensual way.

'Appen I am thinking of buying a flat cap and some whippets. Although I draw the line at ordering a pint of mild at t'pub. I demand other Northerners to welcome me into their lives by knocking on t'door and asking if Im laikin'.

I am a northerner, even though Ive only reetly bin north of Watford a handful of times? ANd eventhough I have retained some of my southern priviledge, like my terribly posh accent and having Michael Hunt as my MP.

I really resent the assumption that all 'cis' people (can I still say that?) are gender conforming and vanilla.

If this Brave New World means I have to wear a flat cap and talk a load of old wank- vanilla is looking awfully appealing.....

on the thread about Julia Long on LBC, a transperson Vicky referred to "angry women" as a separate type of woman. Now we have Northern Aggressive Working Class women.

This makes me wonder, are the two mutually exclusive? Can you be angry and Northern? or just Aggressive? If you were only ANgry and AGressive, would you be a sub-type or a new type? WHat if you were Angry and middle class? Or Aggressive, working class and southern?

We must be careful to define these sub types of women sensibly and simply. If only we had a simple definition of "woman" to start with....