BACP Gender,Sexual, and Relationship Diversity by Dr Meg-John Barker

[R0wantrees]

Good Practice Guide, British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy
(extract)
2.6 Gender identity: woman
Definitions
"Whether trans or cisgender, intersex or not, many people identify as
women. However, what this means varies a great deal depending on their other intersecting attributes. It is important not to assume, for example, that being a woman necessarily involves being able to bear children, or having XX sex chromosomes, or breasts. Being a woman in a British cultural context often means adhering to social norms of femininity, such as being nurturing, caring, social, emotional, vulnerable, and concerned with appearance.
However, of course, not all women adhere to all these things. For example some neurodiverse women (on the autistic/aspergic/ADHD spectrums) may struggle to express emotions, or with social situations. In some northern working-class contexts femininity is associated with strength and aggression. As always an intersectional understanding is vital and we need to be mindful that what is culturally regarded as the epitome of femininity is white, middle class, youthful, non-disabled, heterosexual, cisgender, and thin. This strongly shapes all women’s experiences of womanhood.
Common concerns
While gender may not always be relevant to a woman’s presenting issues, mental health struggles are often gendered. Women have such high rates of body image issues that this has been labelled ‘normative discontent’.
It has been related to both narrow ideals of feminine beauty, and the
contradictory pressures on women today to conform to stereotypical
femininity and to be independent and successful. Food and body
can represent one potential area of control in an uncontrollable and
contradictory world. Women are more likely than men to be diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and many other emotional disorders. This has been linked to the way women’s identities are often bound up with other people, for example, rates of depression often peak for mothers when children leave home. Therapy with women may well involve exploring their relationships with others, and with being desirable, pleasing and/or approved of" (continues)

My understanding is that the majority of counsellors in the UK are BACP accredited. There is a great deal in this document to consider.

The author is the partner of Edward Lord who identifies as non-binary see recent threads:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3323475-Surprise-The-Masons-now-welcome-Transwomen-but-not-women
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3317922-City-of-London-Corporation-consultation-is-out-this-covers-Hampstead-Ponds
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3316098-Childrens-Convenor-Elected-Councillor-calls-women-cunts-on-Twitter-rants

This is so helpful! I often wondered how I could be a woman when, even though I am often nurturing, caring and social, sometimes I can be assertive and selfish. But now I understand that I am trans-northern. When I was born, the doctors [pretty sure I was delivered by midwives, no doctors involved, but doctor sounds more like they could be evil] assigned me as southern on the circumstantial evidence that I was born in Surrey. Growing up, I suffered a lot from prejudice against northerners (even though I lived in Surrey and was interpreted by everyone I met as someone who comes from Surrey, but that's not who I was inside so it doesn't count). I'm hoping to get corrective surgery to alter my tastebuds so I like mushy peas and my thermoregulation system so I can go out in December without a coat (because this is what every single northerner is like, unless they're trans-southern). Shockingly, this is not currently available on the NHS and some transphobes say it isn't even possible - but I know I am a northerner who was born into the wrong body, and I want my body to match my northern brain. Thank god this is now understood!

but ask someone from Manchester and they probably say I’m southern.

Those people are transphobes. Northern is about who you are inside. It's an act of violence to say it has anything to do with coming from the north.

So sorry you've experienced this kind of hate, hot.

This article provides further compelling evidence that transgender ideology is a men's sexual rights movement in disguise.

If a BACP counsellor uses / buys into this and someone who has had the abuse of FGM comes to see them, what are they going to say? After all if woman is just a feeling not a reality of our female sexed bodies then why have they had this horrendous physical abuse? Because of how they feel and "identify" - i.e. essentially their own fault? By this logic they could have identified out of it by being male. Absolutely outrageous. Needs going over by someone at the freedom programme.

Relationship anarchy (RA), and relationshipqueer, are words for relationship styles, which question the idea that romantic relationships should be privileged over other kinds of relationships – both culturally and in individuals’ lives. Of course many people have relationships that are as close and/or valued as romantic relationships, e.g. relationships with family, friends, colleagues or work partners, companion animals, etc. However, they may struggle to nd ways for these relationships to be recognised by others, and by wider society. RA and queer platonic relationships explicitly challenge the hierarchical view of relationships and commitments (Barker, 2018b). Relationshipqueer relationships are queer in the sense that they challenge relationship normativity (see 4.1), just as queer sexuality challenges heteronormativity (3.1) and homonormativity (3.5), and genderqueer challenge gender normativity (2.1). Like fluid sexuality and gender fluidity, relationship anarchists have also pointed out that relationships and relationship styles are fluid and can change over time: relationshipfluid being another potential label for some.

???? What does this steaming pile of ordure mean?

I'm pretty sure that people's relationships with family and friends are generally recognised by wider society

I don't know what it means but I worry for the 'companion animals'

???? What does this steaming pile of ordure mean?

Thanks Ereskigal, think that sums up the whole thing for me quite nicely. Short, clear and to the point. The author could learn a thing or two from this thread.

Or is it like that thing on Sex and the City where Sarah Jessica Parker wanted to marry her shoes? (I could be misremembering)

As a trans-northern woman, I feel I have suffered severe transphobic hate and prejudice in the form of Southern house prices despite clearly being Northern.

As part of Action for Northern Health, I demand at least £500,000 in compensation immediately.

Do you think they actually believe their own bullshit?

Yes, they honestly believe that gender is randomly assigned at birth, using the sorting hat from Harry Potter.

Dear Lord I need gin.

Meg-John could really do with a bracing working holiday in Scotland, where they could assist on a farm doing sheep castrations for a week, get lots of fresh air and have no access to wi-fi. It would do them the world of good, it really would.

As a northern Scot, I hereby declare the whole lot of yous a bunch of Jessies.

gendercritter theyd last a minute. We chew up big jessies and spit them back oot, up here. Meg john would be begging to be shoved back on the night bus tae London as soon as the first midge bit it on the balls....

I think queer arguments challenge truth normativity and rationality normativity. The struggle is to get social recognition and acceptance for arguments that are neither true nor rational

It is also important to realise that argument fluidity exists and is valid. What is said today may not be what is said tomorrow

We're here, we make no sense, get used to it.

???? What does this steaming pile of ordure mean?
LOL! This is going to be my go-to expression for pretty much every strange claim coming from trans-activists from now on. A lovely addition to my current knee-jerk reaction: "What fresh hell is this?" Thanks Ereshkigal

Meg-John could really do with a bracing working holiday in Scotland, where they could assist on a farm doing sheep castrations for a week, get lots of fresh air and have no access to wi-fi. It would do them the world of good, it really would.

I think we should crowdfund for this. As an intervention.

heresy and Ineed thank you us trans northerners tell it like it is.

Oscarino
round of applause from this cis-southern-hemispherer.

BreakWindandFire

Yes, they honestly believe that gender is randomly assigned at birth, using the sorting hat from Harry Potter.

No no no. From the document page 19:
The sex of a baby is medically assigned on the basis of the length of the clitoris/penis.

Yay for female erasure again. Girl = small/missing penis!

I reads like it was written by a teenager who is about to fail their sociology GCSE.

And the word anarchy slips in again. Ripping up the rules - but who benefit from this?

'Deviancy' is the new normal?

I don't know what it means but I worry for the 'companion animals.

That was my thought too Oscarino!

We're here, we make no sense, get used to it.

If ever there was a tag-line for today's world.

Let's hope that when some poor soul googles Dr. Meg-John Barker, counsellor and psychotherapist, this thread pops up at the top of the list

I have lived on three different continents and am currently a woman in Scotland but not actually Scottish or British.

I'm Länderfluid.