Sexual assault and violence

[TheBatPig]

I have seen some respondents to feminism threads tonight (one zapped) who were victims of sexual violence or assault and felt they had not got support in the feminism topic. I think they should get advice/support etc. Their reason for not starting a thread was due to it being identifying etc. I get that. And think maybe we could just have a general thread to discuss this issue and provide support to those who need it. Or references and signposting to organisations and charities who can provide support in real life

I should say probably that I was a victim of physical and sexual violence in my early twenties but I did manage to break free from this at least in the literal sense. I'm aware the psychological effects persist.

It's sad to hear that. I wonder if they posted in 'feminist support', as that does tend to get much lower traffic?

One of the strengths of MN (imo) is that is it is generally such a supportive place for women to discuss sexual violence. It's often hard to talk about that stuff with friends/family IRL, so places like FWR are important.

I'm not sure where they posted to be honest. As I say was on a now deleted thread. But would hate to think someone reached out and people didn't see.

How do I get title changed? That is a good idea but don't know how!!

This is the best section for FWR traffic. Good idea.

I'm totally up for this, being a woman who has faced sexual abuse since I was about eight from various males in different circumstances and never had it taken remotely seriously by the system.

Thank you, have done this and asked to make clear it is a support thread.

I am truly sorry about that floral and hope you are well now. I have not had good experiences with the authorities or even family sadly in being believed

Absolutely agree, there's a need for a space.

Though not sure the best place it should reside in in is FWR, as this is a topic space designed fo debate about female issues in general, and the theoretical nature of debate wouldn't support immediate needs and requiements for help. Otherwise, we'd just include every female experience in the FWR topic - domestic violence, sexual assault, workplace discrimination, judged for wearing certain clothes - in FWR. All are relevant for FWR, but lots have intial homes in other places in Mumsnet.

So a topic thread in the right place to address immediate support, signposting etc.

(As above, I don't think FWR would be an immediately natural place to gravitate towards after an assault. Why would you seek out this topic to post given that the website, as a whole, is female-centred in its nature, with so many areas for seeking support. Let's think about the most natural 'landing place' for someone who's just experienced sexual violence)

A question back to you OP - where do you think the right space is on this website to support attacks and giving support and to where to get signposting/references to support in real life?

Tomorrow, that is awful. I would like to say I am surprised, but sadly I am not at all. It is reminiscent of the law prior to marital rape being a crime. And I'm so sorry you had to go through not only the original ordeal but being treat like that by the police. It is a disgraceful attitude for them to hold

pombear, I think tomorrowsworld is perhaps looking for a discussion about broader issues rather than specific immediate support for attack victims. That was the impression I got from her posts on the zapped thread.

I agree Floral but the OP talked about references and signposting to organisations and charities who can provide support in real life and I was responding to OP, not tomorrow at the time. I posted before I'd seen tomorrow 's post.

I'll bow out. But will go with a suggestion that there are two different things potentially needed here, according to OP and tomorrow'. Resources and support for individuals subject to sexual violence. And an opportunity to discuss the misogynistic approach to sexual violence in the UK system.

Pombear,
I initially thought the same. And said so on the previous thread, as in this should be more theory and less practical individuals support. But quite a few posted on that thread. They saw the natural home for their concerns as being on the feminism board.
And had posted then felt ignored. This is not a criticism from me. I have done same.

It just got me thinking that it is actually an issue in itself. Its not a personal thing. But individual people do need support. Maybe-as I thought, that is better posted in relationship etc. But maybe feminist perspective can be helpful too. I know it has for me

tomorrowsworld, so essentially, as you had consented once, it was 'reasonable' to assume that consent, once out there, could be presumed for further encounters?

There was a thread earlier about a new law somewhere that made it clear that only "Yes" means yes. We really need a proper official discussion and consultation on consent in this country.

Also- I did not mean just immediate and specific suppport. I meant in general. It is all well discussing theories and strategies, but there are real people at the end of this. I think both are needed and its a little sad to see that people seem to think you cannot analyse both at the same time.

'kin 'ell, that's bloody appalling.

Not especially surprising, but awful nonetheless.

It's sad to hear that.  I wonder if they posted in 'feminist support', as that does tend to get much lower traffic?

Like this unanswered thread in "support"

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feminist_support/3304635-Forums-to-support-women-work-in-male-dominated-enviroment

I don't know what the point is of the other sub forums- hardly anyone posts in them.

That is appalling. And it does highlight what is said about the way sexual assault and rape cases are treated differently to other crimes