Sexual assault and violence

[TheBatPig]

I have seen some respondents to feminism threads tonight (one zapped) who were victims of sexual violence or assault and felt they had not got support in the feminism topic. I think they should get advice/support etc. Their reason for not starting a thread was due to it being identifying etc. I get that. And think maybe we could just have a general thread to discuss this issue and provide support to those who need it. Or references and signposting to organisations and charities who can provide support in real life

I’m clearly missing something.

The original posts I meant were I guess a bit off topic to the deleted thread and not made by the op of that thread as far as I know. I assumed all made in good faith else would not have started this thread. There was criticism of fwr and how their posts had been ignored because they weren't involving trans issues. Now, to me it's likely people only look at active and that's why things can be overlooked. So I was simply trying to start both a support and discussion thread in order to alleviate those concerns. That's about the long and short of it.

if you want to smear me, go ahead

You are not being smeared. Your own posts speak for themselves.

Um, I'm not "going off"at anyone pombear. I re-stated my original post. Several people on that thread made a general remark re feeling ignored or unsupported,doesn't matter that the thread has been deleted as it would not prove anything either way. So rather than get drawn in to a shitty argument I wanted to show that we did support and discuss victims of sexual assault in general. Obviously disagreeing this should be aired on feminism chat of all places! Kind of put a dampner on that idea

Why not move the thread forward with support or advice rather than pass judgment on PP? Your comments often seem to be judgements about PP and not the actual topic

Er actually I might be the only poster who has given any practical advice?

I said on page 2- tomorrowsword is looking for support on a legal issue and the police handling of her situation. I don't do criminal law and I have never experienced sexual assault or violence but from what she has posted from what I have gathered the police are mishandling it but perhaps someone with more experience can comment

How would posters feel if they were probed for further information?

What happens when the questions appear to doubt the original post, or come across as hostile when in fact they are a search for clarity from an experienced crime investigator or crown prosecutor? (cough!)

Exchanges such as these are best done face to face where facial expressions, tone, sensitivity and voice convey 'support' before offering advice and a pathway for help. More likely though, they come across as unsympathetic and damaging.

Best for professionals with insight, experience and knowledge of investigations, prosecutions and handling police complaints, to take a big step back rather than add to the poster's burden unintentionally. And that helps no-one that needs help. Empathy, understanding and kind words only go so far when someone discloses the sort of treatment that Tomorrow shared.

Handle disclosures with care is all I'm saying.

I honestly don't know whether there is concern trolling going on in this thread. I haven't seen the original thread referred to. It's very unusual for users to not get the help they need here. We have threads about taking it out on ones body, trans widows and so on. The common factor being unscrupulous men enabled and condoned by a system designed by men to favour men - the patriarchy.

Many many women seek support here and have received it. Many women here have had to deal with multiple abuses from multiple sources - mostly men. Some here haven't been abused at all.

I would say that there is perhaps a difference in those seeking to understand their history and why they may have been targeted multiple tines, and those who need active support now with a recent assault / abuse event. There are no hard and fast rules however from my observation, the former gravitate to FWR and the latter to Relationships. But there is no referee nor law about this. There is obviously concern from many that each person gets the appropriate help when vulnerable as they don't want to unintentionally cause any more distress.

If the user wants support here then please post here - they will get the support they need if they are genuine.

Sorry, but the attacks on Pombear are totally unjustified - I was on the original (deleted) thread. I saw what was said - an OP (not tomorrowsword) was telling us what to not talk about (as usual - yawn).

There is room for all topics here - all you have to do is start a thread - but we are only a chat board. Posters are all individuals with individual opinions. Most posters would probably refer OP to Rape Crisis, as they have more expertise.

I wasn't on the original thread beyond one comment that you can talk about whatever you want. I was referring to Pombear's posts on this thread where she appoints herself arbiter of what is appropriate to
post.

Tomorrow was looking for practical advice on what to do about a police officer who is refusing to process a complaint. She was not asking for the sort of emotional support Rape Crisis, I assume offers.

Other than suggesting she asks to speak to a senior officer or lodges a formal complaint about the officer's conduct I don't have advice to give.

Tomorrow - I've been through the reporting/justice process myself, and I contacted my local MP about my concerns. She was happy to raise the issue on my behalf with the relevant bodies.

Obviously, it depends whether your local MP is any good, but maybe worth a try.

It's not clear from your posts - did the police say this in response to a complaint you made? I know that you can request a review of a CPS decision not to charge, but I'm not clear what the process is if the decision is made without the CPS seeing the case.

If you have a copy of the police officer's statements, the nuclear option would be to publish them online.

It is 100% not acceptable for a police officer to say 'but you didn't say no!' when you were unconscious!

Thanks WWA, that’s really helpful. There’s an investigation into my complaint ongoing at the moment. Once I receive the outcome of that I’ll have more detail.

My case was not passed to CPS and the wording I posted (now deleted) was from the review of the decision not to pass to CPS.

I won’t post more since I’ve asked my posts to be removed.

But thanks for the support from those who offered it, it’s really appreciated.

In that car, you definitely have the right for the CPS's decision to be reviewed.

www.cps.gov.uk/legal-guidance/victims-right-review-scheme

I hope you get some decent answers from the investigation that's underway. The process is traumatic enough without having to deal with police officers like the one you describe. Every woman that challenges those attitudes is helping to make it that little bit better for those that follow her.

Case, not car!

Sorry - I misunderstood and thought it was passes to CPS. That link only applies to CPS decisions.

Hopefully someone else might find it useful though.

Thanks wwa