Daddy daughter 'kink'

[Typeractive]

I've just made a complaint to the ASA about a music.ly ad I saw on YouTube this morning.
The ad featured three attractive young women, appearing as though they were on webcams and role-playing children. An unseen male voiced 'Daddy' and demanded that they promise not to have boyfriends, while they made various coy remarks and expressions.

I've been aware for some time of a so-called kink known as 'Daddy/Daughter' or 'Daddy/Little', in which child sexual abuse is role-played.

When I've been active on hook up sites, I've been disturbed by the number of men who are seeking this kind of 'dynamic' in their relationships. It seems to have become somewhat of a trend.

In fact, it was the prevalence of films depicting fictionalised incestuous abuse on mainstream porn sites such as pornhub, porntube, that woke me up to the evils of pornography and ended my shameful 'cool girl' lifestyle. I do a volunteering job which involves me having contact with CSA survivors and the cognitive dissonance was just too much.

And then this week there's been the resignation of Andrew Griffiths: pictures of him holding his baby daughter published alongside the vile texts he sent to 'his' 'slut', saying what 'Daddy' planned to do to her.

I find all of this so, so frightening and disturbing (which is probably why this op is so badly written and rambling - sorry). I suppose I'm writing to ask, is anyone else noticing this stuff and feeling the same way... and, if so, what should we be doing to rein in these men and protect vulnerable girls?

I think a lot of things in the "kink" domain are troubling, especially when they come into the mainstream.

Yes. It concerns me that kinksters are now attaching themselves to LGB and so placing themselves above scrutiny.

I went to the recent We Need To Talk event and was very interested to hear Sheila Jeffreys speak about the dangers inherent in the discourse sexualities/human rights. She pointed out that paedophiles are attempting to exploit this for their own ends. Indeed, I have heard that the woke now describe these predators as 'pedosexual' and advocate for the legitimacy or their 'identity'.

I think a large amount of the ‘frightening and disturbing’ feelings are the adjustment period between having fallen for the crap and now seeing it for what it is...

It will get easier in time to cope with so just be patient with yourself, don’t blame yourself for having been fooled in the past, try to draw back from urges to become a one woman campaign and just give it time until you aren’t feeling as disturbed, which will happen, I promise.

Thank you, Offred.

(And you’ll be able to achieve more too at that point )

If you look at romance e-books on Amazon it's stuffed to the fucking gills with incest stories. I imagine they're self-published but I don't know why the hell they're so popular.

Yes, I expect you're right. I'm also mother to a daughter, which probably isn't helping vis a vis the panic and rage!

I feel my volunteering has given me a wake up call re: the extent of violence against women and girls. Now I see that I've been living in a bubble and that my comfortable existence is not necessarily typical.

Yeah like that tory mp who resigned
www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/married-tory-minister-andrew-griffiths-12919581.amp

That's very interesting, HollowTalk. I wonder if they're written by men or women. I've always assumed the authors are predominantly women...?

1. I’m not part of that fetish but your description is wrong
2. Musically allows you to use existing voice overs to your own video. I know which clips your on about and it has nothing to do with the daddy kink.

I would say that is a very normal experience for women in the U.K.

It is a fundamental part of keeping the system going. It is not your fault, you are not foolish or gullible, you have been manipulated, as the vast majority of people are.

What demonstrates positive attributes is that you are able to see it for what it is now. Many people prefer to pretend these things don’t exist and everything is nice.

You can't tell who the authors are - they could be literally anyone! I mean, they might have female names, but that wouldn't mean a thing.

I'm scared. I read Gail Dines's book on pornography in which she quotes someone from within the industry who says that the next frontier will be children. The police say the viewing of child abuse imagery is now so widespread they can no longer contain it... and there is no public outcry about that.

And in this context safeguarding practices are being undermined to meet the demands of the TRAs. It's dangerous.

It is very, very troubling. I went onto Pornhub the other day to get figures for how many videos were under “breath play” categories and the front page was mainly taken up with incest themes. Mainly Daddy/daughter but also lots of siblings, step mum, uncle.
It was overwhelming.

I so also find it interesting about the progressive creep into LGBT of kinks and the idea that a kink should be accepted no matter what. It’s a troubling slide.

I’m not part of that fetish but your description is wrong

How is my description wrong? They're getting off on staging sex acts between 'Daddy' and 'Little'.

I'm not naive. I've watched a lot of porn, had D/s sex and dialogue with men who want the stuff described in my op. It's sick.

(Sorry if tmi every body, but I don't want to be dismissed as 'sex negative' or some busy-body, prudish mum).

type - you’ll get dismissed as those things anyway TBH. The dismissal comes when you say things against the ideology. They really don’t want you to say things that might make other people see reality or the whole house of cards will come tumbling down.

Ps. One of the fellas who wanted me to call him Daddy had two teenage daughters and also liked to talk about what a good feminist he was...

Safeguarding should underpin the GRA, with a no questions asked approach. It's essential.

Don't be scared be angry.

On the AIBU thread regarding the Griffiths resignation some of the posters on there were mind boggling in their defence of his private life in an act that was basically indefensible.

It's shocking that this is becoming commonplace via a mobile phone. Plus it's women who have ensure that their children are kept safe from such intrusions into their lives, otherwise they risk losing them.

It's also very dangerously close to 'keep a secret' type of approach to CSA.

Lots of the people don’t really understand and are just repeating the ‘oh you are this kind of person’ stuff from the identity politics playbook.

There seems no end to what will be accepted for fear of being branded a bigot.

This!!

I don't give two figs if anyone slurs me with frigidity or prudishness.

I know a healthy sex life when I see it.

Plus it's women who have ensure that their children are kept safe from such intrusions into their lives, otherwise they risk losing them.

Generally, mothers are by far the best defence that children have. I fear that the unintended consequence of MRA demands for paternal rights will be increased vulnerability of children. Women tend to assess risk very differently to men. IMO, there's a good reason why we've evolved to be much more cautious and much better at reading people and their intentions than most men are.

I’m no prude and have had some involvement in the kink scene but the daddy/daughter stuff troubles me too. It’s an attempt to normalise incest and/or paedophilia which is simply unacceptable and there should be boundaries of decency even within (legal) porn.

Generally I would say that it was deeply unfeminist to tell a woman what is an acceptable turn on but it just seems... dangerous?

Yes, that's exactly how I feel. Inviting these fantasies in, exploring and developing them... it's beyond reckless.