Gender Critical 'Lurkers'

[BadasIwannaB]

I’ve been reading the Gender Critical threads on Mumsnet for a few months now and I’m ‘delurking’ to say THANK YOU! To all the intelligent, articulate gender critical feminists here - you are my absolute heroes, and you’re really giving me hope!

I’ve thought for a long time that many aspects of the supposedly right-on rhetoric about gender is deeply misogynist, and I was unsettled and annoyed at how much pressure there is on women not to challenge it, and how much supposed ‘feminists’ enforce that pressure. But for a long time I felt like I must be the only person who thought this, because I wasn’t seeing anyone speaking out, and on the v few occasions where I mentioned any of this to friends, it didn’t go down well. So it’s been hugely inspiring and reassuring to see that there’s this growing community here standing up for women against the bullshit. I’ve literally been reading the discussions here every day for the last few months, and it cheers me up so much! I’ve become such a fan of so many of you: LangCleg, Datun, Bowlofbabelfish, Ereshkigal, Angry Attack Kittens, I could go on and on…

So I started wondering, how many people like me are there reading these threads and cheering silently from the sidelines? I’m hoping there are lots of us. I think it’s easy to think we’re a tiny minority because of all the fear surrounding joining the discussion, but maybe if we all delurked we’d see that that’s not the case.

So any other lurkers wanna delurk?

Just wanted to say that I've really appreciated your posts since you delurked, littlbrowndog. You've got a unique voice and you have all sorts of perspective to add.

I am going to try and be less sarky and 'cool story bro' and be more Datun.

Calmer [lol], cooler [OMG] and collected.

Oh my, what a ride it will be. My OH will be laughing his socks off.

I don’t post much but I read and repeat to my friends. Most of them look like ‘The Scream’ when I’ve finished.

I mostly lurk too Had my eyes opened by Datun et al. Also heard about Magdalen Burns here and became a massive fan girl.Watched the live steamed we need to talk Bristol meeting and got in touch with Venice and sent some wireless microphones to avoid those pesky wires getting in the way and making it easier for questions from the audience. My way of helping the fight for women and girls Thank you everyone !!!!

I've been lurking for a couple of hours every day for the past ten months and as a result have peak-transed my husband, my two best friends and my entire keep fit class! Recently we were visiting a garden in the depths of Cumbria, really in the middle of nowhere, with a tiny cafe. The waitress brought an elderly gent his coffee, and said, 'Here you are, sir.' Imagine my extreme delight when he replied, 'Don't call me sir - I might be identifying as a lady today. Just because I've got a little beard, doesn't mean I'm a man.' And everyone in the cafe absolutely fell about with hilarity, and started saying what bollocks it all is. Hurrah! I think Man Friday have been hugely effective.

Also de-lurking to say Thank You! The regulars here are so knowledgeable and inspiring. My eyes have been opened to so much that is either not reported in mainstream or reported with facts distorted. This is such a valuable community of intelligent, informed women I would be heartsick to lose it, even though I don't post.

Prestons double cakes look like boobs.

I sometimes post but lurked for quite a while
I don't agree with everything everyone says all of the time, and I'm a bit worried about transsexuals being caught in the crossfire BUT I'm more worried about political representation/opportunities becoming even more limited for women than they already are. The Labour AWS sent me looking on here, because I just knew it was (literal) bollocks.
I'm also worried about children being "helped" to decide their sex, when actually they can't. They can however be feminine, masculine, gay, straight, bi, and that's all good.
I grew up with a whole bunch of gender non conforming types and I don't think liking frocks is just for girls, or going make up free is just for boys. I want everyone to wear what they like and love who they like without reverting to sexist stereotypes.
I won't go near Twitter but I may attend a RL event at somepoint and that's all down to the FWR posters.
I particularly like bowlofbabelfish when she annihilates the faux science posters.
Peace and love x

I have lurked on MN for years. I now seem to spend all my time reading FWR threads with growing horror. Two years ago I was completely unaware and completely happy in my ‘inclusive’ little bubble. The women on here have opened my eyes in such patient, articulate ways. I admire each and every one of you for your bravery and steadfastness. I take courage from you all and finally understand the term ‘womanhood’. I’m not sure any of you can fully understand the impact you have on lurkers like me. You really are amazing. And very powerful. My daughter will thank you one day.
I have totally got the fear about posting this, but here goes.

& to all!

I lurk, I sometimes 'decloak' when I have time to breath. I too was grateful for the eyeopener. I still can't believe a lot of what is happening. Everyday there seems to be a new and weird happening and I am left wondering if the world is actually turning upside down...

For the recently delurked, if you haven’t already please read and sign the petition if you wish, and pass it on to those you think will be happy to support and send it on.

petition.parliament.uk/petitions/214118

Oh wow. What an amazing thread. Hello Lurkers. ❤️

Have posted little before under a Peace loving name, but love has win and I'm delurking to draw a line.
I got trans at home, the latest variant called Rapid Onset Gender Disphoria. I'm pained that my not believing in Gender has raised NGC kids that have got even further confused from tensions home - outside world (I live in a very provincial area). Cluster of lesbians turn into Transman late teens. Mine is out to the world but not to extended family. Crazy time trying to keep family together. Parents gender abolishers, kids sold out to trans.

My voice has been contained for to long for fear of damaging already fragile relationship with my now adult kid. Reading here and on gendercriticalresources, 4thwave now, Transgender trend, FPFW and First do not harm sites has provided solidarity and comfort as non affirming parents are the devil.

I'm so worry for my kid health, I've been threatened with the suicide thing by so many helpful adults that have known my kid for a couple of hours and have override my parent responsibility by providing binders, name change forms, social transition at school, etc From GP to GIC.
I thank all the great voices here and admire you lots. I get it wrong talking about this. And I good like to ask more questions.

I'll do my best to keep my kid away from a pathway of lifelong medication and surgery. I hope experience will show my kid that happiness is not to be found at the end of that path, but that the bigger dosis of happiness come from accepting oneself with all our own idiosyncrasies. Being the sex you were born into, it is not a problem just a reality.

I too delurk very occasionally, but I'm always here and reading, although it's hard sometimes because it makes me so upset. I don't have anyone I can talk to about this in RL, although I have peaked DH.

I've been cheering from the sidelines along with so many threads - the GG and ManFriday ones in particular. I honestly feel sometimes as though the world has gone utterly barking mad - only this week the Times (I think) had some report about the introduction of the term 'menstruating people'.

The tenacious posters on here are stars. 💐 to all of you.

This thread is wonderful and has made me a bit teary tbh.
I'm an occasional poster but mainly lurker for all the reasons people have said and also because I'm more a flippant one liner type of person!
However since I retired (from a university, enough said ) I've been taking the knowledge from here into RL and doing my best there.
It's working, it's working! Once the scales have fallen from people's eyes, they don't grow back

for OvulaRasa

I came to the board years ago, all gun hoe. Although raised a feminist, through my adult life, I'd bought into the line, that feminism had gone to far, and it was doing more harm then good. But I have learnt so much from here and Mumsnet as a whole.

a couple of years ago I posted quite a bit on the trans threads, but wasn't as frequent or articulate as others. But asked questions and looked for research, to educate myself further and share some stuff I found. I mainly lurk now though. I name change a lot. I don't see some of names that were posting when I was. But lots of names(maybe also after a name change) have picked up the baton and continued relentlessly.

Thank you, Thank you all who who carry on, sometimes having to say the same thing over and over again.

Thanks to BadasIwannaB also for starting the thread. It has given lurkers the opportunity to pop in and say hello.

It can be a bit scary posting here at first. some of the regular posters are very unfairly portrayed as a hostile bunch, and in my experience that's just not true.

I haven't had my arse handed to me by any of them.......... yet

OvulaRasa

Another lurker here, hello!

It's important to show support even if you haven't much to add to whatever has already been said
^^
This

helpful adults that have known my kid for a couple of hours and have override my parent responsibility by providing binders, name change forms, social transition at school, etc From GP to GIC.

*OvulaRose

cf
Times article www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/scotland/threat-of-legal-action-over-pupils-transgender-rights-qqr2dk97v
(extracts)
"The guidance says that teachers should not tell parents if their child changes gender in school unless the child, who could be as young as four, gives permission. It also suggests staff should inform councils about parents who “struggle” with their child’s transgender identity, and says parents should not be told if their children are sharing rooms with transgender pupils.

The guidelines were produced by LGBT Youth Scotland and endorsed by the government and 16 local authorities. They advise that pupils “should be supported to explore and express their identity regardless of their age”.

Ciarán Kelly, the institute’s deputy director, said: “It beggars belief that the Scottish government has authorised a state-funded campaign group to dictate to teachers what their obligations are and strip parents of responsibilities.”

I lurk and I ‘watch’ threads to learn more but also to help me word what I want to say when faced with those who think women have equality and those who think men should be allowed in women’s spaces because otherwise they may have their feelings hurt.

Another de-lurk here.

I've always read FWR but have learnt an absolute tonne of fascinating and epiphany inducing theory and critic from some wonderfully articulate and intelligent people on here. I've even done some activism in my own small way (not something I ever thought I'd be doing!) on the back of it. So thank you. Also I have Dds so have always been hugely gender critical.
You've made me positively Amazonian in my thinking and discussion in real life too.

I will always be reading.

That video @Rowantrees was awesome. It was a great reminder. I laughed heartily at the "warning! Owen Jones tweeting" bit.

Another lurker popping up to say hello and thank you! This forum is a breath of fresh air. I adore Brighton and its ultraliberal vibe, but in the last few years the gender ideology has earned State religion status here and radical feminists are thin on the ground. Mumsnet sometimes feels like the last bastion of sanity...