Gender Critical 'Lurkers'

[BadasIwannaB]

I’ve been reading the Gender Critical threads on Mumsnet for a few months now and I’m ‘delurking’ to say THANK YOU! To all the intelligent, articulate gender critical feminists here - you are my absolute heroes, and you’re really giving me hope!

I’ve thought for a long time that many aspects of the supposedly right-on rhetoric about gender is deeply misogynist, and I was unsettled and annoyed at how much pressure there is on women not to challenge it, and how much supposed ‘feminists’ enforce that pressure. But for a long time I felt like I must be the only person who thought this, because I wasn’t seeing anyone speaking out, and on the v few occasions where I mentioned any of this to friends, it didn’t go down well. So it’s been hugely inspiring and reassuring to see that there’s this growing community here standing up for women against the bullshit. I’ve literally been reading the discussions here every day for the last few months, and it cheers me up so much! I’ve become such a fan of so many of you: LangCleg, Datun, Bowlofbabelfish, Ereshkigal, Angry Attack Kittens, I could go on and on…

So I started wondering, how many people like me are there reading these threads and cheering silently from the sidelines? I’m hoping there are lots of us. I think it’s easy to think we’re a tiny minority because of all the fear surrounding joining the discussion, but maybe if we all delurked we’d see that that’s not the case.

So any other lurkers wanna delurk?

Another person who mainly lurks and has done for the last 18 months. Adding my thanks to all the regular posters from whom I have learnt so much (particularly the value of patience). You’re all amazing!

I am a mostly lurker, and I’m hugely grateful to the regular posters on FWR from whom I’ve learned a lot over the past several months.

Another lurker (with an occasional clumsy delurk)

Found this board when looking to understand what seemed to be such an unreasonable GC position I saw on Twitter. Only everything I read, and continue to read, made me realise what was actually happening and what was at stake.

Quietly spreading the word among friends and family who move very quickly from aghast surprise I am being such a “bigot” to aghast incredulity at what’s going on.

I say this every time I post, but the women of FWR who have patiently explained and debunked are owed tremendous gratitude

I delurked about two weeks ago, and everyone that posts regularly has been so encouraging- it made me feel that my thoughts matter ( even though I’m not the greatest at expressing what I want to say)

I was a long time lurker and came out of lurkdom a few weeks ago. I'm not a prolific poster and there are others far more eloquent and informed, so I tend to post to support or highlight things I would have found useful if I was a new lurker or poster.

It's important to show support even if you haven't much to add to whatever has already been said. This part of MN is under a lot of pressure at the moment from those who want no debate.

And actually, Mumsnet as a whole has really changed and strengthened what was my previously fairly flimsy feminism.

I’ve been lucky enough to have had “good” men in my life, decent employers and suffered mainly no more than low level harassment and stuff which I didn’t perceive till quite recently as being due to my girl/womanhood.

Reading the stories of women on here, in Relationships and AIBU and Chat and Parenting and all the rest really made me see how sheltered I’ve been and how hard life still is for many women, “even” in the UK. Just women, telling their stories, with no agenda but their own lives.

It’s in that context that the current threat to women’s rights really comes into focus.

It's important to show support even if you haven't much to add to whatever has already been said. This part of MN is under a lot of pressure at the moment from those who want no debate.

Exactly. Every woman's voice is valuable. And every woman's voice helps to hold up other women.

👋 yeah I also don't tend to reply because someone has already said what I was going to say.

And because I haven't got time to read all the replies because almost all get so long.

There is a claim by some TRAs that there are around 100 women on FWR who are regular posters. That this small group of 'so called feminists' are a small unrepresentative minority...

It’s in that context that the current threat to women’s rights really comes into focus.

I agree - in my life I have been subject to general level abuse, lower pay from being in the construction sector, daily harassment and abuse during my teens and 20s; I am straight and white and now get an Ocado delivery every week - I am 50 - have a cracking job, great house, good partner and an allotment. I call out bullshit in life and am pretty ok as it happens.

But it's not about me - it is about all those vulnerable women and girls, not to mention lesbians who are being coerced and guilted into having sex with female penises [not that there is such a thing], and the amount of people I have seen on here where they are 'I've not got a problem/I'm all right Jack' bleating on and on, without the ability to see the blatant disregard of all women's and girl's rights [including their own] - is pretty frightening.

There is a claim by some TRAs that there are around 100 women on FWR who are regular posters. That this small group of 'so called feminists' are a small unrepresentative minority...

Yes - we are all each other and sock puppetting and don't really all exist.

Apparently.

I lurk a lot! This is a issue I would never have been aware of without mumsnet, and it’s critical to the rights of women and girls.

I’m happy that those who wish can legally change sex, but I’m not prepared to say they can actually physically change sex because that clearly isn’t true. I actually found myself arguing with a biology teacher about this - seems crazy that the ideology of a ‘gender spectrum’ had taken hold to that extent.

It think the current law has the balance (in terms of the process required showing considerable commitment) about right and I’d have deep concerns about those requirements for changing sex being relaxed.

Honestly who has time for sock puppeting as an adult? Especially if they're the primary caregiver for kids.

Another lurker, just joined to say thanks to the regulars.

Was a lurker
No longer
I don5 get it right all the time but reading the stuff here as helped me to say to others what I want to get over
I game in a clan wit about 47 men
Only woman there
They all get now I think
Like it was t even on their radars. But they have daughters ssisterd mums aunties and can see how it would affect them
My kids all peaked in fact all my family as I have banged on about it so much and the way u lot have laid it out makes it easy for me to pass on the info and what could happen
Ta muchly and keep on doing this

yes - we are all each other and sock puppetting and don't really all exist

Are they literally denying our existence

This is incredible.

I knew we had lurkers, I had no idea there were this many who get and/or are talking about the issue.

And, I'm guessing, nor do the transactivists trying to shut us down.

Astounding.

I'm mostly a lurker. I seldom have much to add to the debate, as smarter women than I have already said it. But those women who have tirelessly and bravely carried on this debate on my behalf sometimes get exhausted. I'm going to try and speak up more.

Thanks, all of you

Delurking with a pop and a fresh new name.

Please know, you calm, articulate reasoners, we may not comment (much) but we channel you daily.

Courage really does call to Courage everywhere.

Oh I’m definitely talking about it, peaked my sisters!

I just want to add I feel immense empathy for trans people, have known some over the years, but I’ve been disgusted by some of the TRAs, they are doing real harm to to their cause.

I am heartened to hear how many of our lurkers are talking about this with family, friends and colleagues - this is so important if we are to have a proper debate about the proposed changes and their wider impact. You may not post much, but you are doing really important work. 💐

U see what u gave us was the tools

Now we got out and use the tools

And me. Occasional posting but maximum lurking.

I work in a frighteningly 'woke' profession where I'm not yet brave enough to be publicly GC. It makes for a lonely life but coming here reminds me I'm part of an amazing community of GC women.

I have posted occasionally, one was a cake comment 😉
I’m delurking and want to say thanks to all the regular posters.
You’ve really opened my eyes.
I joined MN earlier this year.
I was vaguely troubled by the appointment of LM and I had read about the Speakers Corner incident. I had seen reference to the acronym that sounds like earth.
I came here and found out what was really happening.
So a huge thanks to all of you regular posters
💐💐🍰🍰