Gender Critical 'Lurkers'

[BadasIwannaB]

I’ve been reading the Gender Critical threads on Mumsnet for a few months now and I’m ‘delurking’ to say THANK YOU! To all the intelligent, articulate gender critical feminists here - you are my absolute heroes, and you’re really giving me hope!

I’ve thought for a long time that many aspects of the supposedly right-on rhetoric about gender is deeply misogynist, and I was unsettled and annoyed at how much pressure there is on women not to challenge it, and how much supposed ‘feminists’ enforce that pressure. But for a long time I felt like I must be the only person who thought this, because I wasn’t seeing anyone speaking out, and on the v few occasions where I mentioned any of this to friends, it didn’t go down well. So it’s been hugely inspiring and reassuring to see that there’s this growing community here standing up for women against the bullshit. I’ve literally been reading the discussions here every day for the last few months, and it cheers me up so much! I’ve become such a fan of so many of you: LangCleg, Datun, Bowlofbabelfish, Ereshkigal, Angry Attack Kittens, I could go on and on…

So I started wondering, how many people like me are there reading these threads and cheering silently from the sidelines? I’m hoping there are lots of us. I think it’s easy to think we’re a tiny minority because of all the fear surrounding joining the discussion, but maybe if we all delurked we’d see that that’s not the case.

So any other lurkers wanna delurk?

Please keep posting, GoldenBuns.

I have been incredibly encouraged and energised by this thread.

I can't thank you enough.

For all the Lurkacus and Lurkalots - ha!

Delurking too to say thank you so much to all the amazing women on here. I don't really post much but I read everything and it's Mumsnetters I thank for my becoming a radical feminist. That's what I've been all my life but I never realised until a few years ago. I never realised that my opinions had an actual name.

Current thread,

OP MagicMix wrote:
"I don't really post on here very much as I often don't feel like I have anything much to add, but I just wanted to thank you all for reassuring me that I am neither crazy nor a hate-filled bigot.

There is not really anybody I feel safe to discuss gender and sex with in real life, unless on those subjects where my views and the prevailing orthodoxy align. I do have one good friend that favours legalisation of prostitution (I favour the Nordic model) and we've had respectful discussions about that and maintained our friendship without any problems. But the big issue, I think you all know what I'm talking about, I just don't dare to ever bring up or respond to. I don't say things I don't believe, but I do just stay silent.

I used to be fully right-on as well, but really I just hadn't thought about it very much. I just went along with the orthodoxy and now I see the danger of that. I always had niggling doubts. 'If gender is a social construct and we are fighting against that, why can't a woman like and do masculine things without being a man, why can't a man like and do feminine things without being a woman?' I would ask myself. I somehow convinced myself that it was different, but never quite managed to nail down how exactly. I guess I just rejected all critical thought, to be brutally honest about it." (continues)

concludes, "Anyway, sorry for waffling on, but my point is that spaces like this on the internet are so important. Please please keep doing what you do, because people like me are listening, and no doubt others who have their doubts but don't want to be a bigot. Thank you, women of Mumsnet Feminism Chat!"

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3301376-Thank-you-Feminism-Chat

Another lurker here, happy to stand up and be counted.

I'm finding the general shift away from freedom of speech to be very unsettling. This is the first time I've found myself on the wrong side of "acceptable opinion" and it's a frightening feeling to be shut down and subjected to such vitriol for daring to ask questions.

I love this thread. It got me out of GC closet xx

Another lurker here de-lurking to say hello and thank you to the FWR posters. To (slightly mis)quote the late great Sir Terry P, if Springsteen had ever recorded 'Born to Lurk', I'd be on the cover.

I have hung around Mumsnet for a few years now but post only intermittently because of time, but frequently use what I've learned/read via FWR to inform others. I have peak-transed DH and most of my friends via what I've come across here and a small group of us are now doing the same on another forum to try and raise awareness of the on-going consultation. I may have pinched some of the links from here, oops, sorry

I moved from bemusement at what we were being asked to believe, to anger last year when an academic friend was the subject of student complaints for 'transphobia', very similar to the stuff currently being directed at Kathleen Stock. My friend's 'crime'? To tweet someone asking them not to call her 'cis', and to retweet some GC articles. And for that they tried to get her sacked.

Shall try to post more, but if I don't, be assured I'll still be lurking. And thank you all again.

Use the links however and whenever you want, Pina. They're posted to inform people, whether they're on the thread or lurking. Share them liberally. I certainly do.

finally someone is talking out about that awful transgender trend website youtu.be/zHdW8MPsfUQ

confusedaboutparenting I'm not sure why you've chosen to post this comment and video here?

There are a number of threads about Transgender Trend including ones which link to the huge amount of criticism from TRAs, charities such as Stonewall & Mermaids. The criticism has been very visible and documented.
including this Guardian article:
www.theguardian.com/education/2018/may/15/transgender-row-teachers-afraid-challenge-breast-binding

Perhaps you might add your comments to a recent relevent thread or perhaps start your own?

I recently de-lurked on the feminism boards despite being a fairly frequent poster on other boards (under many different usernames as I am completely paranoid of being outed).

As I posted on those posts, I am really grateful to all the articulate, intelligent women on here that have helped me to understand. It means that I can pass this understanding to my daughters about how important it is that we keep figthing for women their identity and their rights not to be erased.

Heartfelt thanks to you all.

infrequent Lurkacus here, haven't worked out how MN works yet. Popped over from Twitter to say hi.....and glad I did, there's LOADS of you. So good to know.

I ADORE transgender Trend! Thanks for offering an excuse to show the lurrve ❤️

This is Stephanie Davies Arai (Transtrender Trend) in conversation with Posie Parker:

confusedaboutparenting seems to be spamming various threads with that video.

thread discussing how those opposed to the schoolkit led to the TGT Crowdfunder being suspended:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3265524-Transgender-Trend-Crowdfunder-suspended

& news of the suspension being lifted (comment by Andrew Gilligan from The Times in OP)
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3271219-Transgender-Trend-crowdfunder-to-be-reinstated

confusedaboutparenting

I'm a supporter of Transgender Trend. I have met Stephanie. She is gentle, kind, softly spoken and always, always about the kids.

All the kids. Trans kids, gender nonconforming kids, and gender conforming kids.

The very first thing that the person in that video does is beg people do not read Stephanie's advice.

Literally begs. They actually say please, please don't look at it.

I agree they are young, but come on, when someone begs you not to look at something, what's your natural reaction?

I've said it before, but I'll say again, transactivism is a masterclass in own goals.

I can add my name to the list. I've hovered around on Mumsnet for ages and always learned loads from the intelligent and articulate women on here. Thank goodness you are here.

Another de-lurker, albeit late to the party. I've posted elsewhere on MN but never posted on the feminist boards before. I have, however, learned so much from them and have so much respect for the women that fight our corner on them.

I delurked yesterday on another thread, but thought I might make it official over here :)

Mumsnet feminists, you have been informing and sustaining this Aussie gender critical mum of lesbians x 2 for months! Thank you, and solidarity!

I love this thread. It's massively encouraging to know people are listening to us FWR regulars, so thank you. Gives me energy.

Thanks, Prawn. I didn't think anyone would object to me sharing the knowledge but it's always reassuring to hear I'm not the only one

Also de-lurking to chime in that I am a regular reader of the FWR MN boards.
A huge thank you and ongoing encouragement and support to all the board regulars (and lurkers!) who keep posting, discussing, reading and sharing their opinions, knowledge and experience.
I'm not confident to often post or debate as I tend to overthink things, ramble on and doubt myself a lot, but am slowly becoming more vocal on twitter and FB, liking posts and tweets I agree with and even writing the occasional reply - all thanks to this board.

I am also mostly a lurker. But my lurking has been immensely edifying and I'm very grateful for the information and knowledge I've gained from the discussions and experience of so many intelligent, articulate and patient posters.