Gender Critical 'Lurkers'

[BadasIwannaB]

I’ve been reading the Gender Critical threads on Mumsnet for a few months now and I’m ‘delurking’ to say THANK YOU! To all the intelligent, articulate gender critical feminists here - you are my absolute heroes, and you’re really giving me hope!

I’ve thought for a long time that many aspects of the supposedly right-on rhetoric about gender is deeply misogynist, and I was unsettled and annoyed at how much pressure there is on women not to challenge it, and how much supposed ‘feminists’ enforce that pressure. But for a long time I felt like I must be the only person who thought this, because I wasn’t seeing anyone speaking out, and on the v few occasions where I mentioned any of this to friends, it didn’t go down well. So it’s been hugely inspiring and reassuring to see that there’s this growing community here standing up for women against the bullshit. I’ve literally been reading the discussions here every day for the last few months, and it cheers me up so much! I’ve become such a fan of so many of you: LangCleg, Datun, Bowlofbabelfish, Ereshkigal, Angry Attack Kittens, I could go on and on…

So I started wondering, how many people like me are there reading these threads and cheering silently from the sidelines? I’m hoping there are lots of us. I think it’s easy to think we’re a tiny minority because of all the fear surrounding joining the discussion, but maybe if we all delurked we’d see that that’s not the case.

So any other lurkers wanna delurk?

Wow! I am an occasional poster rather than a lurker more down to struggling to keep up with some of the faster threads but I get there in the end.

I'm a lurker and infrequent poster. Have written to MP, been shouted down as a transphobe on a FB feminist group (I left the group, it wasn't doing me any good) and spoken to a few friends and colleagues in real life. Endless thanks to you who continue to inform me and others every day.

Delurking also. I don't think I'm ready to articulate arguments in real life conversation but I read these threads everyday and it's falling into place. The attitude of the activists is so depressing. How do you make people see sense when their outlook is already defensive/offensive and dare I say warped? But the attitude of those who are blase is perhaps worse? The world is changing in dangerous ways and people are just shrugging!?!

MellyPapa

There's a current thread running which may be of interest:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3303091-small-acts-to-push-back

Wow. I can't believe this has run to 405 posts. Bloody hell.

Apparently, for every poster there are 12 lurking. Does that count when the posters are lurkers?

The world is changing in dangerous ways and people are just shrugging!?!

It looks as though perhaps they start by shrugging MellyPapa.

Mumsnet have released the figures that say two years ago there were 15,000 people who accessed the site via the feminist boards. This year for the same month, it's gone up to 177,000.

People appear to be waking up.
Transactivists highlighting the site as a hot bed of transphobia, directs people here and they can see for themselves what we say.

That's all I've ever asked for. Talk. Sunlight. Openness.

The latest survey by Pink News, who aren't exactly neutral, say that 82% of people do not agree one should just be able to change sex willy-nilly. (As it were).

All this is because of word of mouth.

For which the 400 women posting on here can take a bow.

It doesn't matter if you haven't been able to mention in real life. You will. When it's safe.

Four hundred and five!!!! Bloody hell.

I am a lurker. My Family are lurkers by proxy as I’m constantly relaying the that I read on here.

I'll add at #406. Although more may have beaten me to it by now.

I am new to some of this and still getting my head round some of it. But I think these are very important issues. And need to be debated and aired.

I also think that some women who post on here are very brave. To stand up and be counted. Not to mention articulate.

I will carry on reading threads and learning, as well as reading elsewhere and maybe posting when I think I can make a contribution.

I lurk and learn. Thank you

As well as cheering from the sidelines, anyone who hasn't already done this - please consider signing this petition :
*
<a class="break-all" href="http://go.mumsnet.com/?xs=1&id=470X1554755&url=petition.parliament.uk/petitions/214118" target="_blank">https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/2141188*

And share it anywhere you think is relevant.* 

Thanks for the link. Please let's all try and get 100K signatures on the petition.

I am a lurker who is coming out of the lurking cupboard. Thanks to the guys mentioned above who say what I'm feeling a lot better than I could,
I'm new to the scene and I have learnt so much over the last few days.

I refuse to be labelled and have my rights trampled on by misogynistic narcissistic men.

I don’t post on this board but have been reading so many threads. Thank you! I still don’t know how to sum up what I feel so strongly about. But the issue has really made me think “what does it mean to be a woman?”

Thanks, I have signed the petition and had a look on that thread. Very re-assuring that the readership has increased. I'm also shocked everyday when I read about the latest insanity that has gone on.

Can't deny the facts of biology.

So, this other forum of which you speak - would it be full of mustardy refugees, perchance?

If so, could you pm the details to me please? Maybe I'll join you in your missionary work!

Might be, Bore, just might be

Will PM you as requested. You've quite a long read coming up but worth it, honest!

Eeps! I just took my first foray into posting in chat, women's World Cup thread. Scared! Then said Fuck It and pressed post. Not GC related but a tiny start. I've also started practising my RL Feminist debating on a male friend that will play devils advocate even if he agrees with me.

Thank you all for coming out of lurkdom to say hello.
I despair sometimes but you being here restores me.

Seconded. So heartening

I don’t post on this board but have been reading so many threads. Thank you! I still don’t know how to sum up what I feel so strongly about. But the issue has really made me think “what does it mean to be a woman?”

I reckon that's a very common reaction Gwlondon.

So many women are saying how taken by surprise they are at their profoundly visceral reaction.

And then doubling down when they see the reaction to their reaction.

It's eye opening.

Lurkacus

It's a bit early for

I think it's easy for people like me who've been arguing the case here for a long time to forget how nerve racking it is to post on feminist issues at first. Well done.

I find FWR the most comfortable place in the internet. If you stretch your legs, and wander about in a predominantly female space, maybe you'll be encouraged to join in.

Come on in, the water's lovely.

We need all the voices. We're a female voice choir.

I barely voice my opinion irl because I'm scared about what my friends will think. I come here for reassurance that not everyone else is mad.

Long time lurker here. This board opened my eyes to so much, and peak transed me long ago. I’m too scared to be talk about it much irl as the one person who I have discussed itwith is my DH, who thinks MN is incredibly transphobic (and probably me too now). So after that reaction I tend to keep quiet .

I’ve braved the waters and posted a few times now in FWR.... and it was fine! Yay

Thanks to all the regular posters

Living and learning

I'd like to make the crossover to raising this IRL but not confident enough yet.

I have started to add posts here, but they're not articulate, like so many of those on here. Often, it's to show support, though I hope the regulars now know that we are here, poised for action.

I worry my posts may sound simplistic at times, but that shouldn't devalue my strong feelings.

Thanks again to those who have been treading this board for so long.

Delurking to say thank you. I've learned so much from all of you

SenorBork I have also tried to talk to my DH about this and was shut down. He was appalled and refuses to discuss it at all now. I was really shocked by his reaction as our views have always been strongly aligned, including on the issue of gender stereotypes. His reaction made me afraid to discuss it with anyone else.

However, last night, thanks to this thread, I tentatively raised the issue with some friends and they were in complete agreement with me. They hadn't really given it much thought before, and we had a long discussion which was very reassuring. The two gay men in the group were particularly concerned about young gay teens being pressured to present as the opposite sex rather than accepting themselves as homosexual.

I can't tell you how good it felt to be able to discuss it, and I'm feeling brave enough now to try raising it with other friends.

Thank you, brave women of Mumsnet, for taking this issue on!