Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

A temporary cessation of hostilities

355 replies

ScarletBegonias · 19/06/2018 09:40

I know how serious all this is – but there may be no harm in a little light relief from time to time.

So - has anyone else found themselves watching the football and fantasising about a game between Trans Rights Activists (or whatever they’d like to call themselves) and … shall we say … a Mumsnet Team of Everyday Radical Feminists? (Or maybe a team called Spartacus?) After all, there was a temporary cessation of hostilities at Christmas 1914 during which English and German troops apparently played football with each other.

Here are some extracts from how the commentary might go:

“That was a dangerous run by Munroe Bergdorf, neatly blocked at the last minute by AngryAttackKittens.”

“Keeper Jane Fae has put the knitting down in the corner of the net as Datun steps up to take the penalty.”

“SwearyGodmother has been shown a yellow card for something she said to the referee.”

“Bowlofbabelfish, Spontaneousgiventime, and LangCleg are in the wall as Paris Lees gets ready to take the free kick.”

“We can see how important the preparation was, with R0wantrees briefing the team on the opposition’s tactics in previous matches.”

“The referee is running over to an incident involving the realposieparker and Lily Madigan.”

You can paint your own mental pictures of what the spectators might look like!

Okay. Back to reality.

OP posts:
Mogleflop · 19/06/2018 19:39

Ugh, journalists

Grin
Hecalledmecarrots · 19/06/2018 19:44

Germaine: Women have very little idea of how much men hate them love football

LastGirlOnTheLeft · 19/06/2018 19:45

This is so funny!!😂😂😂 Aww I just love women - they are so smart and sharp!

Kettlepotblackagain · 19/06/2018 19:46

Sweary G GrinGrinGrin

PermissionToSpeakSir · 19/06/2018 19:46

SF sees what's going on and shrieks exterminate, exterminate. The Sporticus team hear this and hide.
Willoughby gets hot under the collar and looks for a quiet spot for some 'private time'.

Tinlegs · 19/06/2018 19:47

The referee shouts "Off side" and there is a brief pause while all the laydees tuck it back up the middle.

LangCleg · 19/06/2018 19:51

This is truly hilarious.

Team Sportacus deploys its secret weapon. Debbie Hayton bends the rules of physics and scores all the way from the St Andrews stadium. The crowd goes wild!

(Just for you, Debster.)

spontaneousgiventime · 19/06/2018 19:54

Come along girls proclaims one of the Mermaid team, Sporticus turn their backs and go the other way, manly fist bumping as the go.

JuzzaL · 19/06/2018 20:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DJLippy · 19/06/2018 20:02

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 19/06/2018 20:04

And they all go down the pub to regroup?

DJLippy · 19/06/2018 20:05

^Attempts to edit a cohesive narrative.

Seriously we should try and publish this it's so funny and smart.

spontaneousgiventime · 19/06/2018 20:07

I struggled to read the end of that due to tears of laughter. Keep deleting mistakes typing this. I have not laughed so much for aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaages!

PermissionToSpeakSir · 19/06/2018 20:09

So funny Grin

AtreidesFreeWoman · 19/06/2018 20:12

@DJLippy GrinGrinGrin

spontaneousgiventime · 19/06/2018 20:13

DJLippy You're a star but I have a stitch.

FermatsTheorem · 19/06/2018 20:15

great stuff, DJ, but the Alan Hansen gag on page one has to go in.

AtreidesFreeWoman · 19/06/2018 20:15

Post match commentary is about to start...

DJLippy · 19/06/2018 20:17

It's a first draft guys I think it would do with some fleshing out. I'm not the star - you guys are!

If anyone can think of some funny text to add in between then post. Honestly this is so funny we should all blog it.

I don't have a blog if anybody does and wants to host?

DJLippy · 19/06/2018 20:18

FermatsTheorem

Agreed - edited out for editing purposes

thebewilderness · 19/06/2018 20:18

Sportacus women laugh at themselves and of course TRA team members assume we are laughing at them and cry foul. Death threats soon follow.

AsAProfessionalFekko · 19/06/2018 20:22

I just can’t follow the post match roundup. Too much bleeping. Jesus Germaine wash your mouth out...

AtreidesFreeWoman · 19/06/2018 20:22

The FPA (formaldehyde pickled alternative) had me creased up Grin

averylongtimeasspartacus · 19/06/2018 20:22

This has got to go in Classics - but I bet it won't.

Amalfimamma · 19/06/2018 20:25

@djlippy

My 2 year old just hugged me as he saw me crying and howling

I don't think he realises its from. Laugher. Hubby is giving me funny looks lol