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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

A temporary cessation of hostilities

355 replies

ScarletBegonias · 19/06/2018 09:40

I know how serious all this is – but there may be no harm in a little light relief from time to time.

So - has anyone else found themselves watching the football and fantasising about a game between Trans Rights Activists (or whatever they’d like to call themselves) and … shall we say … a Mumsnet Team of Everyday Radical Feminists? (Or maybe a team called Spartacus?) After all, there was a temporary cessation of hostilities at Christmas 1914 during which English and German troops apparently played football with each other.

Here are some extracts from how the commentary might go:

“That was a dangerous run by Munroe Bergdorf, neatly blocked at the last minute by AngryAttackKittens.”

“Keeper Jane Fae has put the knitting down in the corner of the net as Datun steps up to take the penalty.”

“SwearyGodmother has been shown a yellow card for something she said to the referee.”

“Bowlofbabelfish, Spontaneousgiventime, and LangCleg are in the wall as Paris Lees gets ready to take the free kick.”

“We can see how important the preparation was, with R0wantrees briefing the team on the opposition’s tactics in previous matches.”

“The referee is running over to an incident involving the realposieparker and Lily Madigan.”

You can paint your own mental pictures of what the spectators might look like!

Okay. Back to reality.

OP posts:
Picassospaintbrush · 19/06/2018 20:25

I've saved iinto word in case it vanishes will I am out.

This may be the end the road for FWR.....

FermatsTheorem · 19/06/2018 20:28

I fear it may, Picasso, but what a way to go.

I'd far rather go out this way than through losing my temper with a troll.

AtreidesFreeWoman · 19/06/2018 20:28

No deletions so far....

But it could well be a final bow out for some of us Grin

Mogleflop · 19/06/2018 20:28

The pub refutes the concept of gender but does self-identify as the Sistine Chapel. The staff seem perturbed but it's quite insistent.

All players are quietly respectful, as no one's entirely certain how it managed to recreate the ceiling in the blink of an eye.

Cautious drinks all round in the possessed bar? Wine

InfiniteSheldon · 19/06/2018 20:28

*Another disruption...a streaker!

A woman - the type with a penis - at least we think so, it's a cold day, flies across the pitch, waving and cheering at the crowd! Moobs flapping in the wind, she is carried off by a Police person with a cervix.*

This was worth repeating Grin in a thread that has made my day

Kettlepotblackagain · 19/06/2018 20:30

They think it's all over...it is now
Bdm Bom

Well you know what, if I'm banned for that - it was worth it.

It's called a pisstake! Ffs we have to be able to laugh at this almighty mess sometimes.

Ereshkigal · 19/06/2018 20:32

I'm also going to save it as soon as I get home in case it's zapped. Brilliant thread that's made me lol several times on a hot, delayed overcrowded train.

NaturalBornWoman · 19/06/2018 20:33

I've had a bad day. This thread has brightened up my evening. Thank you. And if anyone gets banned over it I'm definitely resigning in solidarity.

whitehandledkitchenknife · 19/06/2018 20:34

You're all fanbloodytastic. Just read the thread at breakneck commentator speed.in case it gets pulled

This needs to be published.

ScienceIsTruth · 19/06/2018 20:35

This is very funny, lol, even though I dislike watching, and know nothing about football.

It ends up as a draw because both sides are identifying as the winners and no one is sure what to do about it.

AtreidesFreeWoman · 19/06/2018 20:36

Sales of gin rocked as team Sportacus celebrate what may well be their last game by taking a leaf out of team TRA's book and taking the term bathtub gin "literally" by filling the dressing room communal pool with Tanqueray.

We were hoping for some post match interviews but strongly suspect they may be a while coming whilst the team discuss a post match holiday at Centre Parcs and if lube is required (and if a trip to Booths is worth it).

Note: in a effort to save costs Gordon's was suggested but the team were having none of it.

spontaneousgiventime · 19/06/2018 20:37

I hope HQ take this in the spirit it's intended. I've not laughed so much in ages and I needed too. No harm done to anyone, it's to lighten the atmosphere, it achieved that. I have DJ's version posted elsewhere, just in case.

heresyandwitchcraft · 19/06/2018 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Tinlegs · 19/06/2018 20:49

Post match punditry is chaired by Kathy Newman (clue's in the name)

NaturalBornWoman · 19/06/2018 21:11

In the post match interviews, despite team TRA's spokesperson being given 95% of the airtime, they have stormed off the set because the Spartacus spokesperson mentioned balls and team TRA in the same sentence.

EmpressOfSpartacus · 19/06/2018 21:15

I've PDFd it. This deserves to be in Classics.

IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 19/06/2018 21:17

We need to copy this before the thread gets deleted!

ItsNotUnusualToBe · 19/06/2018 21:36

This whole thread has been an inch perfect pass to no one in particular

I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.

AntiqueOlive · 19/06/2018 21:39

🏆 Team Sporticus!

Sciencelogic · 19/06/2018 21:47

The match will go down in history with so many own goals scored by SF and JF.

Sciencelogic · 19/06/2018 21:49

This thread surely can't be deleted, it's comedy right?

daimbars · 19/06/2018 21:53

I'll never support team Sporticus but this thread is amazing. Well played Grin

Poppyred85 · 19/06/2018 21:55

Team Sportacus and their fans head off to The Blue Stocking for a well deserved post match piss up before disappearing into their day to day lives....Fear not though Sports fans, regardless of attempts to change FCFA (Feminists Centring Females Always) to put men first, our stunning and brave team of heros will return!

ThisisSparta · 19/06/2018 21:57

This thread is a perfect example of what underpins the mumsnet FWR boards - intelligent, articulate and witty posters getting together to have a bloody good chat!

You’re all bloody brilliant everyone of you Gin Cake Wine

CardsforKittens · 19/06/2018 21:57

Maybe this is a crazy idea, but is there any chance that man-of-the-match Miranda might be willing to host the match report if it gets deleted here? I mean, it should really be in Classics but I'm not hopeful about that. And Miranda played so well!