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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

A temporary cessation of hostilities

355 replies

ScarletBegonias · 19/06/2018 09:40

I know how serious all this is – but there may be no harm in a little light relief from time to time.

So - has anyone else found themselves watching the football and fantasising about a game between Trans Rights Activists (or whatever they’d like to call themselves) and … shall we say … a Mumsnet Team of Everyday Radical Feminists? (Or maybe a team called Spartacus?) After all, there was a temporary cessation of hostilities at Christmas 1914 during which English and German troops apparently played football with each other.

Here are some extracts from how the commentary might go:

“That was a dangerous run by Munroe Bergdorf, neatly blocked at the last minute by AngryAttackKittens.”

“Keeper Jane Fae has put the knitting down in the corner of the net as Datun steps up to take the penalty.”

“SwearyGodmother has been shown a yellow card for something she said to the referee.”

“Bowlofbabelfish, Spontaneousgiventime, and LangCleg are in the wall as Paris Lees gets ready to take the free kick.”

“We can see how important the preparation was, with R0wantrees briefing the team on the opposition’s tactics in previous matches.”

“The referee is running over to an incident involving the realposieparker and Lily Madigan.”

You can paint your own mental pictures of what the spectators might look like!

Okay. Back to reality.

OP posts:
AtreidesFreeWoman · 19/06/2018 17:56

Breaking news - apparently 3 police persons required to give up their helmets to provide intersectional coverage of the streakers assets.

Lots of chanting from the Mermaids supporters -"moobs are boobs" and "Down with MERF's".

West Yorkshire Police are now crowdfunding for new inclusive helmets.

Design competition to be held in conjunction with Mermaids who will adjudicate on the winning design.

PermissionToSpeakSir · 19/06/2018 17:56

What's this? Team Mermaids' captain Green is laying prostrate on the turf.

She is saying that "God made a mistake" and that the match has already been won by Team Mermaids in Heaven. In spite of all the guardian angel police officers, Team Spartacus still have control of play.

FermatsTheorem · 19/06/2018 17:56

The streaker turns out to be a transfoootiefan, assigned rugby (or possibly cricket) at birth and letting their oblate spheroid* privilege show unintentionally (streakers being v much a rugby or cricket thing).

*I take it we're still not allowed to mention balls

WichBitchHarpyTerfThatsMe · 19/06/2018 18:09

This thread is hilarious, you lot are brilliant!

thebewilderness · 19/06/2018 18:14

This is the greatest sportsball competition I have ever attended!

spontaneousgiventime · 19/06/2018 18:15

Other Mermaid team members get close to Sporticus players to whack them with their tails when no one is looking. The VR sees one incident and calls foul the Mermaids call Mermaidphobia.

Kettlepotblackagain · 19/06/2018 18:15

Kelly Maloney has offered to be the new Manager of team TRA

Two furry spheres were spotted swinging from the streakers back view as she ran across the pitch by someone with binoculars. A fourth helmet was needed to provide modesty- a child with a 'Cycler' Ken doll was able to provide this which covered them most sufficiently.

KatVonSweet · 19/06/2018 18:15

This is a public service announcement.
All match toilets are being picketed by the National Union of Students trans committee.

Its their way or a wee in the car park behind a bush I'm afraid.

AsAProfessionalFekko · 19/06/2018 18:18

Who are those people at the back with balaclavas and banners? Cheerleaders?

Tinlegs · 19/06/2018 18:19

Caitlin Jenner has just run past with the spof on the left flank, the spof on the right flank has been left on an operating table in Thailand.

Tinlegs · 19/06/2018 18:21

She thinks she has scored. She appeals. No. She has not scored. Lesbians are not interested in being scored with by Caitlin and her pals.

PermissionToSpeakSir · 19/06/2018 18:23

And Parker gets one in the back of the net for Sportacus.

SwearyG · 19/06/2018 18:26

Team Mermaids are now claiming that the SPOF has been tampered with and are appealing to the Uber-Uber match officials, LGBTLD. They spend a very long time explaining that they don’t understand whether the SPOF has been tampered with but think that they should be in charge of deciding whether to change them. After another boring and inaccurate monologue they offer an alternative, stronger, formaldehyde pickled alternative.

PermissionToSpeakSir · 19/06/2018 18:28
Grin
spontaneousgiventime · 19/06/2018 18:29

SwearyG Grin

spontaneousgiventime · 19/06/2018 18:31

The FPA (formaldehyde pickled alternative) is a lot smaller so the Mermaids team captain gives their players golf clubs. They look over at Sporticus and grin...

PermissionToSpeakSir · 19/06/2018 18:34

The demonic looking grin of someone trying to make their heavy masculine jaw look more lady-ish in photos, whilst looking sultry at the same time.

boldlygoingsomewhere · 19/06/2018 18:37

Is there an illegal substitution going on? Bunce is coming on as a sub but we don’t know for which team.
Match officials need to check which day of the week it is....

Kettlepotblackagain · 19/06/2018 18:37

The student union outside the stadium is getting louder.

Tabitha, an lgbtq gender fluid, gender binary, non cis, poly gender, student reading Kardashian Studies at the University of Another Realm is getting angrier and angrier at Sprotacus' goal and righteously rallies the NUS to arrange a fight with the GC Feminists after the game.

LangCleg · 19/06/2018 18:38

It's all come down to the penalties.

Chaos on the Mermaids team as Munroe Bergdorf doesn't turn up to take theirs.

spontaneousgiventime · 19/06/2018 18:41

Chaos on the Mermaids team as Munroe Bergdorf doesn't turn up to take theirs.

Oh good lord, I've just sent a load of snot flying.

Kettlepotblackagain · 19/06/2018 18:41

Lang GrinGrin

PermissionToSpeakSir · 19/06/2018 18:41

Mimmymum is completely discombobulated by her attempts to control the game earlier that backfired, she refuses to step in.

Mogleflop · 19/06/2018 18:42

I know everyone says this - but I'm literally laughing so hard I can't sit up.

I love you all.

spontaneousgiventime · 19/06/2018 18:43

My poor dogs keep jumping up to make sure I'm ok. I'm weak!